• Wife: "What are the scratch marks on
your neck?
Husband Me and the guys went
kayaking when out of the blue a seal
appeared and slapped me on my neck
With an Octopus'“
Wife. Do you h0nesfiy think I‘m stupid
enough to behave something as
ndiculous as that?"
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    • If there weren't a video somebody would have put the "No but in blue" chart
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    • Of course not sweetheart that's why ive got thos video its some sick shit
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    • Yeet
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    • TheHoovy 25 may
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    • That seal: ima throw a motherfucker at another motherfucker
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    • I don't think he was actually trying to hurt the kyaker, I think he was just trying to kill the octopus to eat and he saw something at the surface of the water and was like "I'm bout to end this octopus's whole career"
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    • Honestly a story like that couldnt even be a lie
      Sharknana 26 may
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    • Honestly the more ridiculous it sounds the more I’d believe it. You don’t just come up with a lie like that on the spot.
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    • content not available more
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    • Octopus suction cups can be powerful enough to leave hickies, I vote someone reupload this with hickies instead of scratches
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    • "Babe, if you're stupid enough to believe that another woman is using my phone because of a Snapchat filter, then I most definitely expect you to be dumb enough to believe my kayaking story."
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    • Seal: get fucked land lubber
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    • I wanna know what he did to piss off the seal enough to make the seal hit him with another living creature
      Dredgen 25 may
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    • A lot of people don't know this, but wild dolphin are major dickheads
      Kotala 27 may
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    • 11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • For people wondering, the seal is trying to silence a bitch ass octopus who cant keep his hands out of the seals territory. But the deal decided to kill 2 birds with 1 stone and bitch slap the humans who are trespassing with a bitch ass octopus.
      Hero2B 25 may
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    • Never seen such a power move. You got bitch slapped, by a seal, with an octopus....what
      fthis 25 may
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    • See vegans! Animals are weaponizing other animals!
      Honkler 25 may
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    • Yo that seal had a grudge with that dude
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    • Octopus: ....the fuck just happened?
      Cumple 26 may
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    • I've never seen an animal use another animal as a weapon before.
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    • Jesus Christ. That looked like it hurt like a bitch. Who knew an octopus could make such a great weapon
      everg 25 may
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    • PorkSword 25 may
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    • Why did he do him dirty like that ha, he was just chillin
      kamsayn 28 may
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    • Damn that was embarrassing like wildlife hates you so much it will use other wildlife as weapons against you!
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    • Imagine the weird shit that happens that we dont catch on camera lmao
      StoneUSN 25 may
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    • Octopus: damn boi what I dooo?!
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    • Imagine if some seal just fucking yeeted an octopus at you
      cyonts01 25 may
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    • Bro, i think the animals are working together to fuck with us cause we treat them so bad
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    • Imagine being bitch slapped by a seal with an octopus
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    • They slap the octopus on the surface of the water to stun/kill it before eating
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    • The octopus couldn't keep his eight tentacles off the seal's wife so Mr Seal had to put the home wrecker in his place, the human was just an unfortunate victim of Mr Seal's rage
      Ranal_Ape 26 may
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    • The seal straight up went out of his way to fucking neck this man
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    • You know, some people are probably mad at the "thot wife" in this scenario, but they're probably the same people who comment x and did this happen posts on everything
      HypixL 25 may
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    • Fun fact: ocean predators like seals and dolphins often do that to beat the life out of octopi (?) Octopods(?) otherwise the octopus would strangle the seal while it is being swallowed
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    • That waster is so blue. It’s beautiful
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    • Imagine the amount of “that didn’t happen” messages in the iFunny comments section if this was just a tumblr text post
      Glurbglob 26 may
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    • Honestly tho if something like that happeneds and you don't tell your SO it happened before i wouldn't believe it. Like shit send "holy shit i just got hit in the face with an octopus" to them.
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    • Honesly i think i would've smack the seal back w the paddle
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    • The octopus was probably wondering what in the hell is goin on lol 😂
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    • The attack came out of the blue...
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    • To anyone wondering, many ocean mammals such as dolphins and sea lions will toss around octopus in order to tenderize them before eating.
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    • The Ocean dwellers are finally starting to revolt over all the trash in the oceans. The waters are no longer safe for us humans.
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    • NodeTS 25 may
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    • Bitch slapped by nature
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    • So what’s happening is it’s slapping the octopus on the surface to tenderize it and make it easier to eat
      Garbo_man 25 may
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    • You’re on its turf homie, can’t let that shit go or else the homeboy looks weak
      LordLion 25 may
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    • I shot my rifle one time and it left a mark on my check that was the same pattern as the butt stock but my girlfriend still thought it was scratches from cheating on her for hours
      T_Jenga 31 may
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    • You could show a bitch this video and they would still Probly not believe you
      sadboi950 29 may
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    • They definitely stumbled upon some ocean frat party. Hey fish got shit goin on that we can’t fathom
      kamsayn 28 may
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    • That water is so blue.
      BigMeater 27 may
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    • That seal grabbed that squid, dragged it's struggling ass all the way up to the surface, and just flung it. It obviously has some type of vendetta against kayak peeps
      Nice_Gal 26 may
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    • Out of the blue.... Because literally he came out of the blue 😂
      t6j2c0 26 may
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    • Imma smack this mothafucka with another mothafucka
      Xeon1166 25 may
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    • Damn that must've hurt like a bitch
      E_V_H 25 may
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    • Shit. OCTONIGGA out here again. Y'all stay safe.
      TreeFry 25 may
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    • How the fuck do you piss a dolphin off so bad he smacks a motherfucker with another motherfucker
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    • Finally, a caption that actually contributes to the video
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    • Glad it wasn’t a squid that actually has hooks on its tentacles
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    • That's too crazy to be made up
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    • Octopus was just trynna enjoy his day. Seal comes over and picks him up “we goin somewhere”
      iivara 25 may
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    • “Let’s go smack that fucker, octo-bro.”
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    • What is a pimp slap for 500?
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    • It was trying to feed you, so it yeet the meat.
      Ryuuken 28 may
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    • Hes now his bitch by international sea law
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    • Surprised it was a seal. Seems more like the kind of dick move a dolphin would make.
      cappiam 28 may
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    • Seal slapped him like he just found out human been wearing his nephew as shoes
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    • Get tag teamed
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    • That was super disrespectful
      xWywyx 26 may
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    • “Out of the blue” that makes me chuckle
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    • Dude that was a fuckin loud whip
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    • Octopus : Ah shit here we go again
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    • That seal went out of his way to smack that particular dude perfectly in the face with the octopus. Damn nature you scary!
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    • He said "HERE'S LUNCH"
      Rixus 25 may
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    • Huh. Guess seals are smart enough to be vindictive. That’s something.
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    • “Actually, yes, because I think you’d have more faith in my ability to come up with a lie rather than to say something so absurd.”
      AWA1997 25 may
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    • Ultimate tag team move
      5arrow 25 may
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    • The seal bitch slapped the fuck outta him.
      LZELDA 25 may
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    • Geeeeet the fuck out of my ocean!!!
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    • Seal: Fix the fucking environment
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    • Correct use for "out of the blue" 👍
      pauliebb 25 may
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    • Me: comes home with scratches all over my back. My wife: "I told you not to fuck with that raccoon."
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    • Seal’s like: When was the last time you spoke with your mother? Call her right now! *bitch slaps him*
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    • Mikiko 25 may
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    • Bruh that seal is mad bored
      zxasy 25 may
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    • They decided outta all those people “Yes. He deserves these hands.”
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    • Out of the blue....wait....the water is blue
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    • What a fucking dick. I wonder if he had already killed that octopus and then decided to slap him with it. Or decided to slap him and killed the octopus to make it happen
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    • Women cant believe shit like that, but men cant believe the Seahawks didnt run the ball
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    • IAnimates 25 may
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    • Bitch slapped by the sea
      Ashtontr1 28 may
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    • That slap tho jesus
      Nick18892 28 may
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    • Did you ever wonder if the seal wasnt being a dick? Probably was, but maybe he was trying to give food for some weird reason
      Zeke12 28 may
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    • Shut up Karen you dumb bitch
      Gibs0n 27 may
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    • if that seal slapped me we would've been scrappin right now
      YoungBull 26 may
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    • When niggas pissing you off and you see another nigga you don't know doing the same shit to someone else
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