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Important Skyrim Lore (according to
the Nords)
energyprison
most people in skyrim: yeah about 500 years ago tiber septim founded the
empire and then about 200 years ago the oblivion crisis happened and thats
just about every important event
every nord: at the DAWN OF TIME my greeat great grandfather HANDS
FUCK-BEARD, the greatest hero who EVER LIVED, built this farm with with
nothing but his NUTS
(source)
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  • 1215 comments

    • Hands Fuck-Beard is one of the greatest sons of Skyrim and we need more of him in Skyrim today instead of you Imperial bootlickers
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    • Damn right imperial scum
      phobicc_ 20 jul
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    • Smile for chad Stormcloaks. Ignore for virgin Imperials.
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    • They forgot about the dwarves fighting over a big ass heart in a mountain only to get fucked and then 3 gods were made and then the mountain fuckin went boom
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    • “Hands Fuck-Beard” my sides have achieved orbit
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    • Basically
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    • There’s no prouder people in all of fiction or reality than the Nords in Skyrim.
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    • Gonna be honest, I don't like the racism of the Stormcloaks, but I'll be damned if I let the Aldmer assfuck me like they do the empire
      Dovahnime 21 jul
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    • Fuck elves, all my homies hate elves
      rancid 21 jul
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    • why is it that I see tons of Skyrim memes only when I've been spending the entire day trying to get it to run mods right?
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    • When you are angry that the High elves wont accept your God, but a lot of then were around when he was still Mortal
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    • I'm a Stormcloak supporter myself.
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    • Wasn't the empire created way before 500 years ago?
      succacock 21 jul
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    • Stormcloak, imperial, no matter, all that matters is if you hate the Altmer
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    • They forgot all of the lore about how all of the gods were daedra but then some of them gave up some power to form nirn and became aedra, which is why the aedra are weaker but are honored more because of their sacrifice
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    • Skyrim lore: (honestly kinda bland) Lord of the Rings pre-bilbo lore: (some of the coolest shit)
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    • Clearly, Morrowind lore is superior
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    • Skyrim BELONGS to the Nords
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    • content not available more
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    • The Virgin Skyrim player: I side with the stormcloaks because I support their right to religion and hate the high elves The Chad Elder Scrolls player: I side with the stormcloaks because I recognize that the ban of talos resulted in yet another Tower falling and the Thalmor are one step closer.
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    • Fighting for the Stormcloaks is guaranteeing a Thalmor victory
      BatSpurt 21 jul
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    • All these rebels in this comment section make me sick. LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE.
      Tobs420 21 jul
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    • content not available more
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    • STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
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    • The virgin imperial vs the Chad nord
      bruhbye 21 jul
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    • Heard they’re reforming the dawn guard, vampire hunters or something. In the old fort near Riften, might consider joining them myself
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    • >>>>>Not knowing that Ulfric was literally a Thalmor agent and that the Thalmor engineered the stormcloak rebellion in order to weaken the empire so by siding with the racist stormcloak cucks youre literally aiding the Thalmor and giving them what they want and are, in fact, an elf lover
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    • And i wouldnt have it any other way imperial dog
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    • Hands fuck beard fought valiantly against the mer and died a god damn hero at saarthal you imperial son of a bitch
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    • 12 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Just beat harkon like not just 5 minutes ago
      biggslimm 21 jul
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    • 11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Tiber Septim and Talos are the same dude so Empire history is Nord history
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    • Is Skyrim fun to play?
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • You forgot about Pelinal Whitestrake mer scum
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    • Glorious nordic heritage
      emunz 20 jul
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    • Ulfric Stormcloak 2020
      Jimbato 22 jul
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    • Next playthrough name, aquired
      generic_ 20 jul
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    • Fucking thalmor scum and their imperial dogs. Al hail talos.
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    • There’s hundreds of important events in ES that persons only played oblivion and Skyrim
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    • “Muh stormcloaks are racist” yeah having the empire and a bunch of other races come into your land and tell you you’re the bad guy isn’t gonna piss off anyone. Anyone see any parallels?
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    • The nord are the aggressively American Americans of Skyrim
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    • Imagine making Tamriel more unstable in a time when it should be kept as stable as possible because of the whole shit with the high elves taking over.
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    • Well forgive us for honoring our past
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    • I used to be a stormcloak until i actually got into the lore and realized that the empire is badass, or at least they were until the White-Gold Concordat. I definitely understand the Stormcloaks POV but the races of men need a strong, unified Empire to stand a chance against the Dominion
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    • Ah yes Hands Fuck-Beard I know of him.
      Farengar 22 jul
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    • The correct answer to "the Empire or the Stormcloaks?" is "the Forsworn."
      Reinoehl 22 jul
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    • Everyone says the dark elves are cool cause slaves and shit but whenever the Nords are just a little racists everyone loses their god damn minds
      Riastradh 21 jul
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    • Dont forget about the FUCKING BLOODMOON
      Hircine 21 jul
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    • I’ve been trying to explain to my younger brother why Skyrim was such a good game but I’ve been at a loss. It’s not the combat or the polish. Graphics and story were pretty good but idk. What was it for you guys?
      Skreatur3 21 jul
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    • Nevermind the Ayleid conquerors and Pelinal Whitestrake singlehandedly wiping the floor with their pointy eared asses
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    • I want a game starting in Atmora, where the main quest is the invasion of Tamriel, but you explore the true story lost to history
      Proc 21 jul
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    • Didn't the imperial fuckers get their ass handed to them by Elves? Like, easily?
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    • Story about building the farm sounds nutty
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    • 4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Damn, everyone picking sides and I'm just over here like, "I'll slaughter both sides idc, y'all have a stupid war and get a stupid solution"
      Celceus 24 jul
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    • The nords are chads
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    • The Septims? Virgins. The MAGNIFICENT CYRODIILIC DYNASTY?? Glorious Reman Cyrodiil carved the continent with his KINGLY COCK at the age of 0 after being born with the AMULET OF KINGS in his SKULL so they baked his SEMEN into BREAD so as to EXPONENTIALLY increase his chadness into the 5th DIMENSION
      walu1g1 21 jul
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    • aCreamyMemeouta10 ball hutt
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    • @YallAreBraindead is braindead
      Urbanxx 25 jul
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    • I'm for the Stormcloaks. I've never actually done a play through as an Imperial. But I do think once I had seen a video explaining that the Imperials were actually in the right. Idk if it's true. I don't want it to be
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    • Stormcloak vs imperial who yall got?
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    • Sometimes i forget how fucky the ES timeline is. The 1st era lasted THOUSANDS of years, while the 3rd only lasted like 300. And the Empire we know today wasnt the first, and has only been around a few hundred years
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    • Y'all I just defeated Alduin :)
      MyNamnoon 21 jul
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    • The most fascinating bit of ES lore is that literally everyone hates the Thalmor, including most of the high elves. They used to be a radicalized group who were shunned, but they took credit for stopping the Oblivion Crisis in the Isles, which gave them a blank cheque to take over and silence...
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    • Of course most of iFunny chose the stormcloaks.
      Drexelz 22 jul
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    • Tiber Septim didn't even found the empire. It started with St Alessia.
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    • The ignorance of actual lore genuinely pisses me off
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    • Damn those Imperial milk-drinkers.
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    • He pounded the nails in the buildings with his steel balls.
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    • It kinda bugs me how this guy obviously doesn’t know the elder scrolls lore and understates it like that.
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    • Skyrim belongs to the skevers
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    • 1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Faithless imperials
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    • Naaahts
      Gpsradar 20 jul
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    • Fight for the empire to reunify skyrim under imperial rule so that the empire will be ready for the second Great War with the Aldmeri Dominion
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    • Tall arguing over stormcloaks and imperials, the storm cloaks literally are a racist alienating regime. I’m not even exaggerating. Like they literally hate black people and threaten them in fromt if you three times.
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    • Nords are the medieval Italians with how much drama and flourish they put into a story
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    • God I hate seeing the skybaby stormcloaks on this app who look confused when you say Skyrim isn't the name of the series
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    • I uh thought the oblivion crisis was only 30 years prior to skyrim
      gunwolf26 21 jul
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    • I support the elves
      biid 22 jul
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    • Death to the stormcloaks
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    • Mans really leaving out the fall of the tribunal
      HaveFaith 21 jul
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    • Ok just forget about the events of ESO, not a big deal
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    • I always play imperial.
      TheCheat 21 jul
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    • Found my next character name for skyrim
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    • This will never not be funny
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    • The way he says nuts k1lls me
      Lakers77 12 aug
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    • Kek
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    • Nords care about their land and only their land, be it the heart of skyrim or their village on solstheim. Empire history is as far from their mind as it gets.
      BigShot 27 jul
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    • Bruh
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    • So I'm playing skyrim for the first time... and is every Nord male voiced by the same exact voice actor? The same one that you meet in the beginning scene?
      byugoi 25 jul
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    • THE DUNG OF MORTALITY
      Prismless 24 jul
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    • His naaaats
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    • Heimskr preaches 15 hours a day and sleeps for 4 hours.
      Radicrash 24 jul
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    • Amazing.
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    • Ain’t no smudgy thalmor gonna take land from me
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    • The Nords are bad ass. Fuck the Thalmor though.
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    • this is really funny
      catkid911 24 jul
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    • The empire is the best chance at taking down the aldmeri dominion... the fucking thalmor SUPPLY the rebels with arms to prolong the conflict. At the start they wanted tullius to give them ulfric. If they had their way he would have "escaped capture" you rebel cucks are shortsighted fools
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