• My roomates having sex
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    • woke up saw my roommate banging some chick rolled over and went back to sleep
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    • Did you know that the main reason most restaurants have a different birthday jingle instead of the normal happy birthday song, is because Disney owns the rights to the normal version. They can technically sue for using their song. I mean, this could all be bullshit someone told me about. Neat enough
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    • I woke with my roommate speed running some girl, heard a yell, ended up that the girl was a trap. So my roommates gay now, and I’m in fear of my life
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    • Pov: your tied to a chair in the freezer while the staff sing you happy birthday
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    • my roommate would give me shit when my now wife would blow me on the bottom bunk. but I never said shit when I could hear his gf screaming in the next room throught my headphones blasting Doom 2016
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    • i woke up one night and heard chains clinking. then i heard buzzing. then i heard cheeks being clapped. i understood, and went back to sleep
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    • Now that's a nightmare
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    • When I was younger I walked in on my roommate banging a girl. He asked me if I wanted a turn and I did she didn't say a word.
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    • I think people who think sex sounds like clapping either have sex in different ways to me or they just don't have sex
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    • I love how everyone on this app shits on Tik Tok constantly but half the goddamn features on here are from there
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    • Yeah but instead of them singing happy birthday, they're all just saying congratulations
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    • Always hated when people tell the waitress it's your birthday and they come out singing
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    • Bro of you have roommates that are just ok with fucking infornt of you. Your all prob not ganna make it far
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    • Saw my roommate fucking a goat... wait I don’t have a roommate or a goat why is there a man in my room fucking a goat.
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    • *Wakes up with them fucking on me*
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    • I shared a house and expenses with my brother and his girlfriend for a year. You realise how hard it isn’t when you can hear both of them moaning? I couldn’t crank for that entire year, except when they went to movies and dinner, and forget watching anything with sound. That was not an okay year
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    • Not my roomate..but my little brother. I used to share a bunk with my little brother and one night my gf and I came home high af and we didnt see my little brother (he usually stays up super late) we high fuck and i gloop on her chest. When we get up to change I see —-
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    • I thought it was the start to mr. blue sky
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    • If I wake up in the middle of y’all having sex and I roll over to get more comfortable then ignore me cuz Ima be passed out again in like 30sec
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    • Me and my best friend literally lived in a studio apartment. One night we threw a little mini party. This one chick had her husband or bf coming home from basic training thr next day. I got drunk and passed out. I happened to wake up for a min and look over to him bangin her like 4 feet from me lmao
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    • One of my only rules as a roommate is you can not have loud sex if I'm home, I'm not some farm animal, I pay to live there, and I'm not subjecting myself to that. Wait until I'm gone or just tell me before. Thankfully, the ones I've had so far have followed it and I'm never even had to argue.
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    • Given up - Linkin park
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    • Reminds me of family guys point of stew where stewie had a dream about peter and lois chopping trees in rhythmic thuds and peter suddenly yells out yes and chops faster and downs his tree and then lois pulls out a vibrating chainsaw. And peter says oh your using that now. Well goodnight.
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    • As long as they arent slipping it to you...
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    • You wake up, tied to a chair, there is nobody around you, you hear clapping and singing get closer to you, you struggle to get out, you yell to god to help you, nobody answered...
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    • “...How Many Shrimp Do You Have To Eat-“
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    • “Mr sandman. Bring me a meme, make it the most dankest I every seen”
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    • Penis
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    • I was in the dorms and they were going ham over there while I was trying to study so I just banged on the wall in the pattern they were doing it in.
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    • That's funny because today is my birthday.
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    • I shared a dorm room and I woke up to my roommate getting plowed four feet away from me. Wasn't great and she did it constantly even though I told her not to do it in our room. Never had a roommate since
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    • Had a roommate who would bang his gf as loudly as possible while I was trying to sleep after 12 hour shifts. He's also fuck with the thermostat all the time. Havnt talked to him since I moved out.
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    • Our rabbit used to be indoor until be built a cage, she was doing that foot stomp thing one day and I was sleeping on the couch and had a dream I was at a gun range.
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    • Heard my aunt having sex with her now ex husband really loud
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    • This whole time i was the one gettin banged
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    • content not available more
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    • How many shrimps do you have to eat before you make your skin turn pink?
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    • Gotta time it so you cum right when they say "HEY"
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    • I tought they were gonna put cake on his face and you guys know what that'll mean in real life
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    • Send me pp pics
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    • Me and my Roomate agreed that we would not have sex with someone while the other person was there. BUT of course, he got a girl interest. One late night I woke up to them having sex. Can’t trust nobody these days
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    • You ever had a random female at a party give you birthday sex I thought not oh man life so pathetic when you can’t communicate with women and have some fuck
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    • Shia LaBeouf looking ass
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    • Shoutout to my ex-roommate Eric for putting up with my gf and I doing it like twice a day for months and not saying a word about it. Good dude.
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    • I was the one fucking I’m always getting heavy PUH
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    • Lmfao. Omg.
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    • Thats how good pussy sounds
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    • I heard my roommate masturbating yesterday, didn't even bother to use the bathroom. But I understood and went back to sleep
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    • He saw himself in his dream
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    • One time in college I kicked my roommate out of our room for 20 minutes while I plowed some random chick on the bunk bed in our room
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    • Kronk: Nice Cock
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    • That's why you fuck women who have they're own Apartment.
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    • I had an ex that thought it was hilarious to setup us fucking somewhere in the house so that her roommate would walk in. She wanted her to join in and thought that would break the ice lol good memories
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    • I remember once. It was my birthday and they made me stand on my chair and say my age. NEVER AGAIN
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    • Both ways for me and my roomie. I had a FWB that started off being quite but after a couple months she stopped caring lol and my roomie gets laid 4 times a week by different chicks so that's nothing new for me. But I haven't had sex since my fwb from over a year ago.
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    • What does it dream when they go faster...
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    • Thats it. As soon as its my birthday im going to Red Robin
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    • Now that was funny
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    • Fun fact. The copyrights for the birthday song is owned by time warner cable and that is why every place has their own birthday song. Cause they can’t use it without having to pay the cable company. So this meme is illegal. 🤪
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    • Shit that was loud
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    • Did they last as long as the song did?
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    • That waitress gorgeous
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    • How fucking fast are they going???
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    • When you're having sex in your dream but wake up to some asshole clapping and singing happy birthday.
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    • That's sounds like the start to a bloodhound gang song.
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    • if my roommate ever try to sneaky fuck im gonna piss on him
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    • What the dad thinks while you fuck the step mom on their own bed
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    • I wish I could understand what the fuck they’re saying
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    • My dream: I've been played a fool four, three, too many times and When did lust for you become an organized crime? I tried to keep you honest, babe, but I was just a pawn You played the part so well, it hurts to know you're gone
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    • It’s my 22nd bday today
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    • Actually made me chuckle a bit, good job
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    • Should have put the clips in the other order
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    • I woke up to my roommate having a threesome in our room.
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    • This is so perfect
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    • Damn it really be my birthday too
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    • Audibly laughed
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    • Why is this shit so damn funny 😂
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    • That’s actually a pretty good one
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    • Yeah, I find it weird how our brains interpret sounds from real life in a dream
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    • Your bros really be fuckin without u bro?
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    • Cough on my dick, call that Corona Cock
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    • So sue me for using the original song. Fuck disney
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    • I was bracing myself for the moan but...thank you.
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    • you
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    • Well then
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    • Once my best friend called mid sex to ask what we wanted from taco Bell and my girlfriend screamed "I WAS THIS CLOSE TO CUMMING" and my friend was like "my man!" And hung up.
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