• Hello and Welcome
to the Mental Help
Hotline
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    • If your a Jew press nein
      Babyzombie_2016 24 jun 2017
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    • "If you're a pedophile, press any number less than 8"
      Felenthor_2013 23 jun 2017
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    • It's funny when people say that this isn't funny. I think it's hilarious. People have different types of humor. Mine is very dark, and yours might be unicorns taking a rainbow shit. So don't say it isn't funny. Because it is, to lots of people.
      NoCakeForYou2 22 jun 2017
      236
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    • This is Tom Lehrer, he did lots of things like this. Like a song about "spreading a std, the FUN way" Like so people can see he is very funny.
      Relativitytheory 23 jun 2017
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    • How to be an ass to disordered people 101
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    • How schools treat mental illness
      Galldon19 22 jun 2017
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    • If you have been possessed press 666
      45
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    • If you're a vegan please note that I had a delicious cheeseburger for lunch.
      SpyreSOBlazx 22 jun 2017
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    • Hello this is the mental help hotline if you have a drug addiction press the numbers 4 2 0
      EnjoyCocaCola 23 jun 2017
      33
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    • I had this as my voicemail greeting when I was 18. For over a year.... only one person ever left me a voicemail. My buddy. To scream "I JUST SAT THROUGH THAT LONG ASS VOICEMAIL JUST TO TELL YOU, FUCK YOU FOR HAVING THAT! CHANGE IT OR ILL KILL YOU." Kept that shit for another 6 months
      Kingmen 24 jun 2017
      26
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    • If you are a pedophile touch any number below 8
      27
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    • Hello this is the mental help hotline, if you think there is more than two genders hangup because you are a moron
      24
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    • If you identity as a attack helicopter , please enter your Id code
      RePostOffice 23 jun 2017
      20
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    • I showed this to my Psychology teacher and she showed it to all her classes and gave me extra credit for every class that thought it was funny
      17
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    • THANKS FOR my first feature!
      ScaletheDragon 22 jun 2017
      16
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    • That paranoia one made me choke on my cereal 😂😂
      Faddhism 22 jun 2017
      15
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    • Hello this is the mental help hotline, if you have mental problems in need of help, press the eleven key...
      AVeggieBurger 24 jun 2017
      14
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    • The line about depression tells you everything you need to know about this help line. They could have started and stopped with that one. "It doesn't matter which one you press, no one will answer your call."
      AlienInvasi0n 23 jun 2017
      12
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    • I just pressed so many buttons
      11
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    • I'll have two number 9's,a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip,a number 7,2 number 45's one with cheese and a large soda
      KKK2000_2017 23 jun 2017
      10
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    • This used to be the ringtone I had set for my mom, who is a psychologist.
      madmorglm_2016 24 jun 2017
      9
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    • I thought that said "hentai help hotline". I guess I'd need help either way.
      Alex_Kidd 24 jun 2017
      8
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    • What if I'm 🅱️oneless
      Boris_Wolf_2016 23 jun 2017
      8
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    • Number for scientific reasons please
      IWishIHadALifeMan 23 jun 2017
      8
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    • The British accent just makes it that much harsher
      SamuelMcGray 23 jun 2017
      8
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    • My mom used this as her ringtone once😂
      TrueLaugh_2013 23 jun 2017
      7
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    • Nigga I'm dyslexic, you think I can't press 699966?
      WiskeyDick38 23 jun 2017
      7
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    • Robin Williams was hilarious.
      TXRaised512 23 jun 2017
      7
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    • This finally resurfaced this was around as audio back in nokia phones
      Dick_Burns 23 jun 2017
      7
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    • Six zero five four seven five six nine six seven. That's the number for this, like so people see. (Had to type it out cuz "spam")
      7
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    • How do I make this my voicemail?😂
      miacruz03_2016 22 jun 2017
      7
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    • *punches all the buttons*
      7
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    • This will be my voice mail message.
      6
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    • This used to be my voicemail, no shit
      Battle_Mode 24 jun 2017
      6
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    • My new voice mail
      gub_achug 24 jun 2017
      6
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    • Is that robin Williams?
      DankBison 23 jun 2017
      6
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    • Presses all numbers
      paythepricegamer 23 jun 2017
      6
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    • This is so old, I use to have it saved on my flip phone...
      jusebist_2016 23 jun 2017
      6
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    • We're sorry, your fingers are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.
      Official_Poppy 23 jun 2017
      6
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    • If you are suicidal drop the phone your bath while bathing.
      8
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    • You can get this as a ringtone on the app Zedge. Like this comment so everyone can know.
      BorN_Fr33 23 jun 2017
      7
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    • Stay on the line and we'll trace your call - that's fucking awesome lol
      6
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    • 1234569696969#######[beep]
      6
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    • If you are autistic, grab your fidget spinner and spin on the numbers
      DankAssDoggo_2014 22 jun 2017
      6
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    • Just found my new voicemail recording. Not kidding.
      Mastermind718 22 jun 2017
      6
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    • I used to have this on my first phone and my mom made me change it. She got pissed when i difnt answer her and would get furious that she had to sit through all that to leave me a voicemail I wouldn't listen to anyway
      OriiRae 22 jun 2017
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    • "Hash key" hate it when people call it that. Its called the pound symbol godammit
      Chil245 4 jul 2017
      5
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    • "After the beep, wait for the beep" ....what?
      WizardMD 26 jun 2017
      5
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    • Wait so we are all pressing 9 that's what the voice told me
      bob_ross98 24 jun 2017
      5
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    • If you are on crack press every button at once
      ScienceFam_2012 24 jun 2017
      5
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    • Whats there number. I'm totally being serious
      lailaisme_2017 24 jun 2017
      5
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    • literally what went through my head: I have multiple so press 4,5 and 6? Wait no 3,4,5 and six ....guess I should try to call again later
      melanine22LY_2017 24 jun 2017
      5
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    • Thanks guys for the feature
      ScaletheDragon 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • I pressed them all
      ya_boi_Dirty_Dan_ 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • I don't know which button to press because of my extremely faulty mentality. PUSH ALL OF THE BUTTONS!!!!
      XCubeZero_2017 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • Best feature in a while
      FreakDeer_2014 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • This was my great great grandmothers ringtone for me id call her all the time and she never did pick up
      5
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    • The voices told me 8
      BadMotherFucker48 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • I have a shirt with this whole paragraph on it and I've been called an asshole several times for wearing it in public. Apparently I violate special snowflakes "safe spaces"
      Daisy 23 jun 2017
      7
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    • soon to be used by amy schumer in one of her standups
      discopeach 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • Why do dyslexic people get all the pussy
      Wildo_The_Dildo 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • *presses all of them*
      awzomboii16 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • How to make someone kill themselves 101
      FrozenAutism 23 jun 2017
      6
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    • What's the number tho...I mean like for the people who need it 😅
      PAPICHULO42 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • Is it 6969 or 969696??
      CrazyFuzzy 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • Mental roast hotline
      Mastercheese313 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • This is actually a 100% accurate representation of how America treats people with mental disorders
      TheJakeMan2001 23 jun 2017
      6
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    • Sixninesixninesixninesixnine. That's one hell of a night.
      HeckenBamboozled 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • This is actually the alarm tone to take my depression meds lmao
      TheCrewOfCats 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • Under the new healthcare plan
      timthetitansfan 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • Holly crap this is older than most people on this app
      5
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    • I remember looking this up on YouTube when there was no iFunny
      shaghy 23 jun 2017
      5
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    • If you are a pedophile please press anything less than 8
      BlearyMcturnips 22 jun 2017
      5
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    • "If you are depressive it does not matter what number you press"
      robot 22 jun 2017
      5
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    • I want to make this my voicemail
      _TheOneGamerGuy 22 jun 2017
      5
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    • For pedophile, push 18 , however you probably prefer to push lower numbers than that.
      tjetuati 22 jun 2017
      5
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    • The fuck is a hash key? Do you mean the pound key?
      llLisbethll 22 jun 2017
      6
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    • Uhhhhh...123456769696969 please
      Spira 22 jun 2017
      5
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    • What button do I press I have no mental issue
      4
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    • This is almost ten years old
      Itasai_2017 24 jun 2017
      4
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    • Old meme is old. But still dank.
      DominusMain 24 jun 2017
      4
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    • What's the number
      WaffleLord221 24 jun 2017
      4
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    • I have this set as my voicemail​message lol
      Im_a_person5_2016 23 jun 2017
      4
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    • This is my moms ringtone....
      HowsWaldo 23 jun 2017
      4
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    • Tbh I actually got scared when the FAKE VOICE MAIL said "If you're paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call"
      4
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    • Is it bad that this is my mom's ringtone for my dad
      4
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    • Lmfao. I remember this, it's old as hell.
      4
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    • 3,4,5 and 6
      Rolflwofl 23 jun 2017
      4
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    • *Hangs up*
      4
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    • ######################################## shit it's not working
      4
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    • Good to see ancient jokes making it in memeland.
      SarahCrokieCarman 23 jun 2017
      4
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    • My dad Had this for his ringtone back in like 2011
      4
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    • This was my ringtone a few years back
      extremetnt_2014 23 jun 2017
      4
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    • This is clever as hell
      Jimsonweeder 23 jun 2017
      4
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    • Robin williams R.I.P
      TristenPerkins 23 jun 2017
      4
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    • I am dyslexic that shit got me
      Chief9 23 jun 2017
      4
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    • *presses all of the buttons*
      4
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    • My step dad has this as a ringtone set for his brother.
      Idraw_fARTs_2017 23 jun 2017
      4
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    • So press every number?
      LordOfTheCorn 23 jun 2017
      4
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    • "If u are depressive it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you"
      Saratobia 23 jun 2017
      5
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