SantaCruz SantaCruz
25 sep 2020
girls been giving me shit for buying a 30 year old nissan
"Dont scare my kids! I paid good money to come here! and don't appreciate you going after them!"
{visible confusion}
SenorDeadpoolio SenorDeadpoolio
28 sep 2020
"Dont scare my kids! I paid good money to come here! and don't appreciate you going after them!" {visible confusion}
Kona with the new filter. - Kona with the new filter.
oreocrusade oreocrusade
24 sep 2020
Kona with the new filter. - Kona with the new filter.
Dogs are for people Who want
Worshipped be like Gods
AWe
Cats are for people strong enough to have a God standing on their chest at 5 AM demanding a sacrifice
Psherman42WalabyWay Psherman42WalabyWay
26 sep 2020
Dogs are for people Who want Worshipped be like Gods AWe Cats are for people strong enough to have a God standing on their chest at 5 AM demanding a sacrifice
When you put on your Inends glasses and you're waiting on them to notice what a silly goose you are
kaosxsilence kaosxsilence
28 dec 2020
When you put on your Inends glasses and you're waiting on them to notice what a silly goose you are
When you're putting charge on a wall and hear some drug addict start hooking up a car battery on the other side.
XXXextensioncord XXXextensioncord
3 mar
When you're putting charge on a wall and hear some drug addict start hooking up a car battery on the other side.
Some jokes just write themselves
Some jokes just write themselves
Me watching fireworks even though never left
my house, popcorn just have and LSD
popcorn ceilings and LSD
Me watching fireworks even though never left my house, popcorn just have and LSD popcorn ceilings and LSD
Dog owners the moment they adopt a new dog
I'LL CUT OUR
hitbox44 hitbox44
23 sep 2020
Dog owners the moment they adopt a new dog I'LL CUT OUR
no one:
Egyptian gods:
Th3Architect Th3Architect
30 mar
no one: Egyptian gods:
Why do dogs float in water?
Because they're good buoys.
CrimsonSix CrimsonSix
25 sep 2020
Why do dogs float in water? Because they're good buoys.
Teacher: "See me after class"
10 year old me who just started watching porn:
miclo25
20d
Teacher: "See me after class" 10 year old me who just started watching porn:
Parents when you mention that your mental state might have something to do with how you were raised..
Parents when you mention that your mental state might have something to do with how you were raised..
Me when I wake up: "I'm gonna have a good day today."
Me 10 minutes later:
the
I have contained my rage for as long as possible,
Me when I wake up: "I'm gonna have a good day today." Me 10 minutes later: the I have contained my rage for as long as possible,
Person at work: "we're more than just coworkers, we're a family"
Me:
bi
Person at work: "we're more than just coworkers, we're a family" Me: bi
Me after chugging the water bottle on my night stand at am
lelolaughsatit lelolaughsatit
28 sep 2020
Me after chugging the water bottle on my night stand at am
When the waitress calls your man
"babe" and you 'bout to get banned from Chili's.
lettuceServerlife lettuceServerlife
22 sep 2020
When the waitress calls your man "babe" and you 'bout to get banned from Chili's.
Does she like me?
Or is she selling something?
Does she like me? Or is she selling something?
Yeah sex is cool but have you ever earned the trust of a cat
InFamouzCzr InFamouzCzr
24 sep 2020
Yeah sex is cool but have you ever earned the trust of a cat
boss: Why were you late?
Me: Car issues
deadfox deadfox
28 sep 2020
boss: Why were you late? Me: Car issues
*Drops Phone*
Me: "Please don't be cracked"
Phone:
FF
HighBalls HighBalls
9 jan 2021
*Drops Phone* Me: "Please don't be cracked" Phone: FF