4 things people can't choose:
- Parents
- Nationality
- Sexuality
- The President of Russia
4 things people can't choose: - Parents - Nationality - Sexuality - The President of Russia
When you're browsing the dark web and see yourself on sale for
$500
Klutch145 Klutch145
22 dec 2020
When you're browsing the dark web and see yourself on sale for $500
stan
@catsinners
this is why she left you
@ Bill Gates @ @BillGates 16 Nov 16
From poop water to poop perfume, I'm amazed by the innovation that's underway in the field of sanitation:
stan @catsinners this is why she left you @ Bill Gates @ @BillGates 16 Nov 16 From poop water to poop perfume, I'm amazed by the innovation that's underway in the field of sanitation:
THE BEST PART OF HOGKING UP WITHIA A MILF
LEAVING THE MOBNING WITH A JUICE BOK AND FRUIT ROLL UPS!
Kirby_88 Kirby_88
22 jun
THE BEST PART OF HOGKING UP WITHIA A MILF LEAVING THE MOBNING WITH A JUICE BOK AND FRUIT ROLL UPS!
Fiance and I's retired unit
German shepherd - Fiancée and I’s retired K-9 unit German shepherd
ProfessionalBoomer ProfessionalBoomer
21 sep 2020
Fiance and I's retired unit German shepherd - Fiancée and I’s retired K-9 unit German shepherd
When you go to the store to buy chocolate milk, head home, and realize the bagger forgot to put it in your bag
Where in the fuckery is my CHOCOLATE
MILK
JSpooksmemes JSpooksmemes
25 sep 2020
When you go to the store to buy chocolate milk, head home, and realize the bagger forgot to put it in your bag Where in the fuckery is my CHOCOLATE MILK
Crime Watch Daily @
WOE cam Crine WatchDaid,
University bookstore worker stole
$20, worth of textbooks, police say buff. ly 2h-QNOt
dog daddy
MEMEOLOGY
I hope he returned those 2 books
TiffanyOdell TiffanyOdell
24 sep 2020
Crime Watch Daily @ WOE cam Crine WatchDaid, University bookstore worker stole $20, worth of textbooks, police say buff. ly 2h-QNOt dog daddy MEMEOLOGY I hope he returned those 2 books
Nicole Byer wants to know why Star
Wars and Lord Of The Rings movies
are "Just. So. Long."
Be silent Keep orked tencue nd your teeth.
davycrockpot43 davycrockpot43
28 sep 2020
Nicole Byer wants to know why Star Wars and Lord Of The Rings movies are "Just. So. Long." Be silent Keep orked tencue nd your teeth.
The illusion... Voicing CG dogs
Being a standup comedian
Being
Hollywood actor
comedian
...of free choice.
KingGarb KingGarb
25 sep 2020
The illusion... Voicing CG dogs Being a standup comedian Being Hollywood actor comedian ...of free choice.
When you're trying to teach your homie to jellyfish, but they aren't quite getting it
FIRMLY GRASP IT
TheSpongyKrab TheSpongyKrab
25 sep 2020
When you're trying to teach your homie to jellyfish, but they aren't quite getting it FIRMLY GRASP IT
My boss: you're fired
Mespause Netflix* why?
"bs
FANTOMGOD FANTOMGOD
22 jun
My boss: you're fired Mespause Netflix* why? "bs
Man Y'all Sleepin On The Girl From
Commercial
topdickhead topdickhead
20 nov 2020
Man Y'all Sleepin On The Girl From Commercial
*me rereading my own tweet every time someone likes it*
noon_husband noon_husband
3 jan 2021
*me rereading my own tweet every time someone likes it*
Your breast growth in pregnancy might predict your baby's sex
Plus, here's how your baby's sex impacts your breast milk composition.
Yep. You're not imagining it. Your boobs are bigger when you have a boy. And evidence backs that up.
vain_uncannedbeanss vain_uncannedbeanss
13 mar
Your breast growth in pregnancy might predict your baby's sex Plus, here's how your baby's sex impacts your breast milk composition. Yep. You're not imagining it. Your boobs are bigger when you have a boy. And evidence backs that up.
lifts the armrest and puts her hair in a ponytail
IndustriousDaddyV3 IndustriousDaddyV3
24 oct 2020
lifts the armrest and puts her hair in a ponytail
For every SO likes I'll run mile - For every 50 likes I’ll run 1 mile
theheman theheman
25 sep 2020
For every SO likes I'll run mile - For every 50 likes I’ll run 1 mile
My poor French teacher today was talking about the word "cell phone" and how in
German the word for cell phone translates to handy..... which led to
Professor: Isn't that so cute!? The word handy is just adorable. Like why don't we say that in
English.
One brave Student: .....because it's slang for a handjob
Professor: *visibly looses five years off his life* why are you Americans like this.
My poor French teacher today was talking about the word "cell phone" and how in German the word for cell phone translates to handy..... which led to Professor: Isn't that so cute!? The word handy is just adorable. Like why don't we say that in English. One brave Student: .....because it's slang for a handjob Professor: *visibly looses five years off his life* why are you Americans like this.
The kid in the wheelchair : *tells a funny joke*
Me preventing myself from saying he should become a stand-up comedian :
The kid in the wheelchair : *tells a funny joke* Me preventing myself from saying he should become a stand-up comedian :
When the boss walks by and you pretend to work but you're 2 hours deep in FaceBook stalking
When the boss walks by and you pretend to work but you're 2 hours deep in FaceBook stalking