• n
New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like
down-home folksy expressions you learned from
your grandma but are actually just nonsense you
just made up
-
that man really salts my melon!
-
you know what they say, it takes a bushel of
corn to feed one chicken
-
a louse will live on any head it lands on
-
don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got
cows
-
there’s a guy who eats half the berries and
says the pie shell’s too big
-
like digging a pond and hoping for ducks
ªfaedex
This was supposed to be a joke and all but as a
southerner, these still make sense.
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    • Butter my butt and call me a biscuit
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    • It really does
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    • If I get 4 likes I'll post a picture of my chickens
      Secks 15 jun
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    • Southerner rule 13 you can make up any idiom as long as it involves nature or farming
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    • Don’t put down a salt lick and say you don’t got cows: -Don’t act like something’s the case and then deny it right after. There’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shells to big: -This guy creates a problem and then complains about the problem he created. Like digging a pond and hop
      jackwk 15 jun
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    • Well I'll be a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease; make it cry, burn it, and let it swim. How y’all been?
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    • As a southerner I give the official YeeYee seal of approval
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    • I'm more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
      nekkoserge a month
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    • Ignore a cold, itll stay for 7 days. Take care of a cold, and itll be gone in a week
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    • Seriously. I'm from Georgia and all these make sense to me.
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    • My mom used to make her own up all the time. "Your ass sucks canal water." And "That's what happens in a town without an airport." Miss her.
      MattAlex 15 jun
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    • That man really salts my melon: -That man takes good things/times and messes them up. You know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken: -If you deal with things individually instead of in bulk it’s more expensive/taxing. A louse will live on any head it lands on: -That kind of
      jackwk 15 jun
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    • I think this person doesnt understand that half the shit we say is made up. Were just really fuckin good at idioms and metaphors. Its bred into us.
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    • I say “that really butters my lemons” on quite a regular basis, along with “I’m smelling what you’re stepping in”
      Memeocell 16 jun
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    • These should make sense to most English speakers they’re just metaphorical phrases.But slap a southern accent on it and it sounds more authentic.
      r6_Vigil 16 jun
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    • "Like licking a Pine tree hoping for Maple Syrup"
      MrFate77 15 jun
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    • As a non southerner they also make sense
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    • Input from somebody who lived in a backwash town with 800 people in it... Yeah, comment is correct.
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    • That’s like wiping your ass with a bicycle tire, shits just gonna come back around
      CRS6132 15 jun
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    • These are kind of gold tbh.
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    • You cant make a fruit salad without some peaches! You cant win a marathon without putting a few band aids on your nipples!
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    • The last one is a real expression
      Mee_Mees_ 15 jun
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    • 1. That guy's a fuckin dick. 2. It takes hard work to be responsible. 3. Hoes will go for any man. 4. uhhh....aight, I got nothin for this one. 5. The equivalent of have your cake and eat it too. 6. The opposite of Work Smarter not Harder.
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    • These are all perfectly usable southernisms.
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    • "Guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shells too big": some people will take everything good and still complain.
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    • Mikiko 15 jun
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    • Ya can’t sheet a sheep if you have only horses
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    • As a native Texan I can confirm I've heard over half of these already and they all make sense
      daniuhll 15 jun
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    • 3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • It's like licking a tree and expecting maple syrup
      gruflz a month
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    • As a random motherfucker from the middle of the country these make perfect sense
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    • My favorite saying from my grandpa - “That was easier than shitting in a well and half as dangerous!” Usually after showing me an easier/better way to do something.
      Haro_Der a month
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    • “Well you got the cereal in the bowl, you just forgot the milk. Doesn’t make it bad, it’s just not what you wanted.” A nonsensical quote my coworker spewed the other day.
      Salticart 16 jun
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    • Not only do I understand all of these, but I fully feel they're prophetic and beautiful
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    • My grandma used to say “If a man’s sick he don’t feel so good” mind you she’s never lived in the south
      A_R_Penn 16 jun
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    • Salted cantaloupe is actually super good
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    • Shove a stick up my ass and call me a Popsicle
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    • The sun only sets for those who watch
      dickery 15 jun
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    • Like a fresh fucked fox in a hot pepper patch!
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    • The last one was actually pretty good
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    • Not even as a southerner it makes sense
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    • I was raised on a farm and I'll tell ya these make absolute sense
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    • as someone who's surrounded by down-home folksy people you can just say this shit and 90% they just nod and agree, 10% they ask you where you heard that one and if you say your grandad taught it too you they'll fucking buy it.
      squishbby 15 jun
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    • As not a southerner I can still find meaning in a few of these
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    • Don't put a snake in a hand basket and invite me to lunch
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    • I just finished school for good Can I get a heck Yep
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    • Born and raised in Mississippi, out in the backwoods of the sticks. One of my favorites that I remember: "don't you try to piss on my head and tell me it's rainin" (you're full of shit/I caught you). A popular one was "the creek rises when it likes" (shit happens).
      MrFreeze 15 jun
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    • Well jew me up and call me penny.
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    • Legit though.. a lot of them make perfect sense
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    • I’m a Midwesterner and I still understood these ;P
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    • Just cause u put syrup on something don't make them pancakes
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    • You can put your boots in the oven but that don't make them biscuits.
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    • My grandmother used to say it’s colder then a icemans butt outside. Which kindof lost its meaning in time so every time I use it to explain the weather I have to explain where it came from.
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    • As a northerner most make sense
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    • I'm in this picture and I don't like it
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    • Ever look at someone and think they're cornbread aint done in the .idd
      strctnin 15 jun
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    • What’s bad is those sayings make a hole lotta sense
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    • I don't see why they wouldn't make sense to northerners
      Gilvannis 15 jun
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    • The way my extremely southern grandmother describes how good her baking is "it'll make your tongue slap your brains out"
      casmilu 15 jun
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    • Well run me over and call me supper
      Billy817 15 jun
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    • That guy really takes the jelly outta my donut
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    • These make sense to anybody with half a brain, not just southerners
      Pariah 15 jun
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    • My dad said, "You're about as useful as tits on a boar hog!" We live in Ohio!
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    • That's like biting into an apple and expecting roast beef.
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    • The only thing worse then a crow is 3 crows
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    • The digging a pond and hoping for ducks makes sense
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    • Honestly I'd use these
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    • That second last one could actually be a real thing. That makes sense to me
      Scarfy a month
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    • Idiot doesn’t know you don’t need to feed chickens that much corn, and you can have a salt lick if you have goats and horses, dumbass city slickers trying to sound country when all they’re doing is sounding like a jackass
      HumorMuhi a month
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    • You cant milk an udder and get my kids back from Karen at the same time
      Rejectz a month
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    • I feel like I've heard these all before
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    • That guy is lying a bushel is more than 9 gallons so i dont think it takes a bushel of corn to feed a chicken
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    • Change the salt lick one to deer and it'll be more accurate
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    • I sometimes use the term “Southern fried bullshit!”
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    • Born in the South but raised in the North, and I still understand it. I think it's in our blood
      Ovaljim a month
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    • Well ain't that just a cold blanket in a chilly room
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    • "He's slower than a ten year itch" and "I haven't seen him in a coons age" spoken from the mouth of a man called "toothless dave" at the butcher shop where I work
      waifu2000 16 jun
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    • Salts my melon makes sense because some people sprinkle a little bit on salt on watermelon because the sweet and salty tastes good so it would be a phrase meaning “this adds a little extra that makes it better” salts my melon
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    • Boy, you are like a bathtub full of BB’s.
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    • I've literally never been to the south and they all make sense
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    • As a westerner they all make sense
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    • This really cheeses my onions
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    • Busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest
      ThorDoggo 15 jun
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    • I can see all of these being used.
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    • I was working outside for a few hours on a forklift, and when a guy swapped me spots and went outside it started raining. He came back in soaked and asked me if it had rained at all while I was out there, and I said “I stayed dryer than a tenured whore”. It just came to me in the moment so I said it
      Glynnc 15 jun
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    • YOU SALTED MY MELONS
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    • The second to last one is golden
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    • I’m from Lubbock, and I’ve heard three of these... so yeah
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    • These all look like dr. Phil quotes to me
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    • The only one that doesn’t make sense is the last one
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    • Dont put ketchup in my doughnut and tell me it's jelly
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    • So true story my relatives on my mother side like to put salt on watermelons, they also like to put suger on tomatoes.... Idk i really idk
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    • Having family in the Midwest makes this all sound normal
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    • It’s hotter than a witch’s titties today
      5born2 15 jun
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    • Chicken ain’t nothin but a bird...
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    • Most of these make sense in australia
      iitzOJ 15 jun
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    • I understand all of them
      99037 15 jun
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    • One phrase from my childhood I can barely remember was: “you’re extremely gay”. Which implied you were in fact a homosexual and inferior to the group
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    • This man is speaking southerner right here, mostly Oklahoman cuz down here shit makes no sense but does at the same time
      Congu 15 jun
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    • Well toungue punch my asshole and eat my toenails
      igotadog 15 jun
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