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    • Quit you job
      Normaler 30 jul
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    • Hell yeah, I’d buy my company, tell nobody and just walk in and sit around being lazy, when my previous boss tells me to get to work I’d tell him to make me. And we’d go all the way up the chain of command until it gets to me where I’d announce I own the company.
      SirB2000 31 jul
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    • 10 likes and I'll quit my job at walmart
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    • issaJoke1 31 jul
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    • Not gonna lie even if I was a billionaire I’d work part time and hide the fact I’m rich otherwise the gold digging thots will bleed through the woodwork
      Servioul 1 aug
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    • And yet there is a snail looking for me.
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    • NormG 31 jul
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    • I wouldn't quit my job, i just wouldn't work as hard
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    • Quietly resign for personal reasons to avoid having anyone become aware I am now rich and avoid any trouble from my coworkers
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    • Wait, if you own the company and fire yourself, could you get unemployment
      Niiice 31 jul
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    • I’d ask for less hours and go back to college. Try to start a business 🤷‍♂️
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    • I'd buy the company and tell no one, then over a series of weeks I'd just be lazy/do whatever I want. Come in and have weird conversations, then when my work mates talk to me about it, or say they want me fired.manager would have to call up the chainand hear "you cant fire em, they are *your* boss*
      LotusZen 2 aug
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    • Buy the company I work for and stop showing up and just wait until I get a call or email saying I'm fired then throw down a no you reverse uno card
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    • And then, since you were fired without reason, Sue your own company for everything it has
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    • Fly a private jet into the buisness' headquarters
      Pillar 31 jul
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    • I work at Home Depot and when we fire someone we tell them “ we are promoting you to lows.”
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    • A lot of people are saying they'd buy the company they work for, the fire themselves. How many billions do I have? The company I work for is worth 21 billion.
      Zulupunk 31 jul
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    • Everyone in my department at malwart hates it, so I'mma share it with everyone and we play hide and seek in the back until they fire us
      Rockheart 31 jul
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    • Keep working because I’ve actually chosen a job I’ve enjoyed???
      Nollauh 30 jul
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    • I quit my last job with a card that said sorry for your loss,and the inside said "its me i quit"
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    • I work at an phone store and we have a tv. I though about casting porn to it when it was busy.
      chekash 31 jul
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    • As an Amazon employee, I would ship myself out of the company and take a picture of myself when I get home to let Amazon know their package was delivered
      W0lfE17 31 jul
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    • Hire an assassin to promote me to dead
      T_cHef 31 jul
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    • Work until I become old and feeble enough to not care about it and then go off on a grand adventure before I leave the planet for good!
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    • I wouldn’t quit my job. The ppl I work (at a college) for are semi-rich assholes who think they’re better than everyone and beg for donations from richer ppl to their school. I’d get a kick out of watching them completely change their tune towards me but always turning them away. Fuck those guys.
      Biggy 31 jul
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    • Put in my two week notice and finish it like a good human being... then buy my boss and make her a sex slave for my African american friend Tyrone.
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    • Just say I quit. And then come back later in a badass suit and buy the whole company from my aunt so she can retire early and stop stressing so much cuz it hurts my heart seeing her constantly stressed and worried about her company
      OBBato 31 jul
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    • Buy a few passenger planes. I think you know where this is going.
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    • Buy the largest amount of shares and become CEO. Then run the company into the ground and watch all your employees be laid off. Then liquidate what is left of the company in the penny market.
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    • Considering I work on an alpaca farm, I’d likely approach my boss with a suitcase of cash and a helicopter, tell him to get lost, brutally and savagely murder most of the alpacas and then cook them in my alpaca meat themed restaurant I built in the farm’s place 😃
      _Alpaca_ 31 jul
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    • Send in my 2 week notice, and do my duties as a member of that company until my appointed time to be discharged
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    • I wouldn't quit my job right away. I'd give a two week notice because I both like and respect my coworkers
      Views 30 jul
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    • Keep my job slowly buy out the company and then one day when my boss is being a duck just tell him he's not my boss anymore
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    • Write a blog about Kylie Jenner’s boob job
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    • Pay my coworkers to quit with me so my bitch manager would be fucked
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    • You can buy a company and not work for them. Well you can buy majority of shares of a company and technically you would own majority of the company
      luke1203 4 aug
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    • Hire someone to go do my job while wearing a paper mask of myself pretending to be me at my salary, if they fire him/me mission complete, if not then my paycheck will cover his paycheck 😂
      Rikusman 4 aug
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    • Tasteful 2 aug
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    • If it's a big company I would buy the company and slowly dismantle it while I'm doing that I would be getting money to pay back what I used to buy the company Id eventually when it doesnt give enough I would disband the company completely
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    • Buy the company and layoff everyone who wronged me obviously
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    • Pay off every other employee to quit, leaving the place to shut down
      Ballsack1 31 jul
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    • Buy my boss a few badass cars and all the highest grade tools and equipment so he can do his job more efficiently, I would also help pay for his dad's back surgery and overhaul the entire shop, I have a lot of respect for my boss doing what he does with his small town body shop
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    • Seeing as I work at Woodward west, I would for sure not quit but in fact secretly buy the company and when my boss still treats my like shit I'd write letters to her as the owner saying that I'm watching her and see how she treats her employees... I see everything.
      TheAnvil 31 jul
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    • Just got to watch out for that snail
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    • Be rude to customers who are rude to me. Not creative but satisfying as hell
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    • Gotta get that severance package 😂
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    • Give my boss a 2 weeks notice and keep working for those two weeks then at the end help out the people who treated me with kindness by giving them a fat 2mil
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    • I wouldn't. Love my job
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    • tbh i’d quit and give a stack to each of my coworkers that i like so we could all quit together
      idiotbabe 31 jul
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    • I’d just not show up for a couple days. Like 4 or 5. Let them sweat it. Call me nonstop. Look for me. Bang on my barracks door. Then after that just show up Monday acting like nothing happened and casually mention my billions of dollars, and be chaptered.
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    • Pay off a local newspaper, sites, etc to post stories about me leaving the job. Can you imagine the confusion on your bosses face as they start reading/hearing about their employee quitting through some Onion/Reddit/Buzzfeed bs?
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    • I work at an amusement park so I guess just emergency stop as many rides as I can before security kicks me out
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    • I work at an animal shelter so I guess I would buy them a nicer building and equipment. Hold a huge adoption event and take all the dogs to Petco and let them pick out all their new toys and beds to take with them to their new homes. May or may not quit.
      SamGL 31 jul
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    • Do an ultimate power move and show up the next day promoted to customer
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    • Buy the company and fire the corporate retards to work where we did, then promote the hard workers who go in notice then dip like a catch and release fish
      Ujarak 31 jul
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    • I'd just put in a two weeks so it wasn't suspicious.
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    • "And my first act as the new CEO of this company will be to terminate my employment"
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    • Keep working. And then when someone pisses me off. Freak out tell everyone to fuck off and leave
      whotf1 31 jul
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    • My boss and his wife are awesome respectable people honestly I would go to him for advice on what to do with the money it's a super adult answer but my boss knows how to run a business and manage his money passing that up would be as dumb as...
      ivonrokko 31 jul
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    • Send a bus full of Karens to attack my bosses
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    • Lemme just buy the US Navy real quick
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    • Buy the company and give myself 70 years paid vacation
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    • Blow up the company and take over maine
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    • Try to get as many people as pissed off as possible so that they attack me and ill try to be the last one standing.
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    • Then collect unemployment cuz you got fired. 😂
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    • Buy the company and demote manager to toilet scrubber
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    • Just keep on showing up to work everyday and proceed to not give a fuck. Question and challenge everthing. Start executing the most elaborate pranks on co-workers that are complete assholes. See how far I can subtly push the ole' envelope until the point before getting fired and telling em I quit?
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    • Buy fortnite and delete it. Then quit my job
      frickm8 30 jul
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    • ...idk if i have enough money to buy the government.
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    • Put in 2 week notice and respectfully wish my coworkers and management the best
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    • Pay a church choir to sing a song outside the office about me being sick of their shit.
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    • Keep working for awhile, so people don't realize that I'm super rich. And try to find a better job probabaly. Even if you're rich, you should still be a productive member of society
      xfamous_ 30 jul
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    • Continue working so I don't get caught up with too many pleasures and get bored with my life in the 20 years or start up a company so I don't go crazy. Luxery is temporary, legacy lasts
      boulse 30 jul
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    • if i were a billionare, i’d probably just show up anyway and still get paid, but just not give a fuck if i slack because who cares if they fire me
      bumpp 30 jul
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    • Buy the company, fire everyone, hire a bunch of morons and run the business into the ground while my ex-boss watches in horror.
      noncon 30 jul
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    • Do what the journalist did
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    • Stop working and live an average life. Like get a relatively nice but not extremely expensive car, get a smallish cozy house and just do whatever i enjoy, and since I'd probably still have hundreds of millions of dollars left when i die I'd give everything left to charity in my will.
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    • ireddit ireddit ireddit
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    • I would get myself fired so i can get extra cash man
      Tacospup 4 aug
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    • invest in schlatt coin
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    • Buy company quit offer myself to come back for better pay decline it. Offer myself a wild ass offer, take it and quit.
      StoofGuy 3 aug
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    • My coworkers are nice enough, so I'd give my boss a few grand in exchange for not having to put in a two week notice and invite my coworkers to a party. Pick them up in a limo and food/drinks are on the house
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    • Two letters c4
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    • I’d finish my two weeks like a normal person, take my money that I told no one about and disappear
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    • I would go to my boss's office and tell him, "I'm giving my two weeks notice." And then continue to work for 2 more weeks.
      youidiot 2 aug
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    • I love where I work so I would quit but still work as a volunteer. I would also give them the money to get a new roof
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    • Well, I do construction and I'm cool with all the dudes I work with, so, I'm gonna buy pizza, chicken, and beer, and hire naked bitches to serve us and get a sun tan
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    • Buy the most expensive car in our shop and do a sick fat burnie that spells I quit into the back lot
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    • Buy the company, force it into bankruptcy, lay myself off, collect unemployment while paying for the millions of dollars I lost.
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    • I'd put in two weeks notice, and finish it out. Then I still receive my profit sharing which at the moment is $40,000. Then on my last day, let everyone know my true thoughts about them lazy rights.
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    • Create an elaborate scavenger hunt for my boss, all the while making him think there’s a reward at the end, only for him to find my resignation
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    • Me: (Scrolls through comments frantically) "Has anyone already said it or posted it?!?? No??? Cool!!! (Takes deep breath) THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE QUITTING WITH EXTRA STEPS!!!
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    • Shit I work for Disney
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    • Fire yourself and then file for unemployment. Not like you're going to challenge the claim.
      caze269 1 aug
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    • Skydive from a blimp that say I quit in Comic Sans dressed as Dwight's Schrute as the blimp spreads photocopies of my ass from the blimp WWII propaganda style. Land in front of my boss and say "Fact: I no longer work here" and then press a button as the blimp explodes into confetti
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    • What job
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