"You attract what you fear"
Oh my god! I'm so scared of being hot! Ha!
RES
can't believed that worked!
"You attract what you fear" Oh my god! I'm so scared of being hot! Ha! RES can't believed that worked!
Friend: How did your first camping trip as a family go?
Me:
WIFE STABS HUSBAND WITH SQUIRREL
NaheemGaming NaheemGaming
2 jun
Friend: How did your first camping trip as a family go? Me: WIFE STABS HUSBAND WITH SQUIRREL
When it's hot af inside and you gotta hang an arm out the window
Fromundamahjunk
21 mar
When it's hot af inside and you gotta hang an arm out the window
Types of Cat Loaf
white
cinnamon
marble rye
choco-swirl
cheesy garlic
toasted
pumpernickel
extra fluffy
stale
potato
burnt
moldy
gluten-free
whole grain
Beebles Beebles
25 sep 2020
Types of Cat Loaf white cinnamon marble rye choco-swirl cheesy garlic toasted pumpernickel extra fluffy stale potato burnt moldy gluten-free whole grain
When you rock back in your chair farther than expected and your life flashes before your eyes
FamGuy1 FamGuy1
28 may
When you rock back in your chair farther than expected and your life flashes before your eyes
The With
Cat The
Bat
Has
Had
Enough
or
That
None_Of_Ya_Business None_Of_Ya_Business
25 sep 2020
The With Cat The Bat Has Had Enough or That
Can't wait to be a father so I can randomly walk into my sons room and look at him like this
PiedPiper815 PiedPiper815
27 may
Can't wait to be a father so I can randomly walk into my sons room and look at him like this
Classes in 2020 be like
mt.
Ma
Stap
ifightdikes ifightdikes
11 sep 2020
Classes in 2020 be like mt. Ma Stap
A group of flat earthers spent $20.000 on laser gyroscope in an attempt to prove that the Earth does not rotate. Instead, the laser actually picked up a drift, showing that the
Earth does rotate. This pretty much proved the exact opposite of their theory.
Well, well, well, how the turntables
TayIor TayIor
27 sep 2020
A group of flat earthers spent $20.000 on laser gyroscope in an attempt to prove that the Earth does not rotate. Instead, the laser actually picked up a drift, showing that the Earth does rotate. This pretty much proved the exact opposite of their theory. Well, well, well, how the turntables
Arnold Schwarzenegger
I may be 67 years old, but sure still know how to terminate some young pussy.
Dirty Dirty
26d
Arnold Schwarzenegger I may be 67 years old, but sure still know how to terminate some young pussy.
Me: Are you pooping?!
My toddler standing in the corner:
Arsene Arsene
19 oct 2020
Me: Are you pooping?! My toddler standing in the corner:
The Babylon Bee
@TheBabylonBee
The Simpsons Will Now Only Use
Voice Actors Who Permanently
Dye Their Skin Yellow
BabylonBee BabylonBee
24 feb
The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee The Simpsons Will Now Only Use Voice Actors Who Permanently Dye Their Skin Yellow
Me unhappy about something she did, then she shows me
her titties and I'm okay
It's a simple spell but quite unbreakable.
THE1LLUMINATI THE1LLUMINATI
4 nov 2020
Me unhappy about something she did, then she shows me her titties and I'm okay It's a simple spell but quite unbreakable.
when put in a conversation, this is exactly my face behind the phone
sugondeeze sugondeeze
7 oct 2020
when put in a conversation, this is exactly my face behind the phone
Parent: Just eat your food, it's not that hot.
Food:
Tabby Tabby
21 nov 2020
Parent: Just eat your food, it's not that hot. Food:
showerfeelings
Shower Thoughts
A chess match between a mind reader and someone who can see the future would glitch the matrix.
THEOUTCAST THEOUTCAST
26 sep 2020
showerfeelings Shower Thoughts A chess match between a mind reader and someone who can see the future would glitch the matrix.
MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG'S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIL AND HE'S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT'S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE
cornedsyrup cornedsyrup
29 sep 2020
MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG'S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIL AND HE'S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT'S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE
did u take care of urself today? eat something? drink water? do something that makes u happy? allowed urself to feel whatever ur feeling?? huh?? do it
Biffers_ Biffers_
9 feb
did u take care of urself today? eat something? drink water? do something that makes u happy? allowed urself to feel whatever ur feeling?? huh?? do it
here are six stimulus checks hidden in chocolate bars throughout the country.
JudgementalRooster
28 dec 2020
here are six stimulus checks hidden in chocolate bars throughout the country.