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Masturbation can apparently open 'a portal to
hell' according to a Christian author
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  • 1109 comments

    • after no nut November everyone masturbated and the portal opened so now that explains 2020
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    • Here before the douche with the feet pics
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    • I’m the douche with the feet pics
      Oshawatt 22 jun
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    • 194 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Well shit ive opened more portals than doctor strange ever has in this quarantine
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    • Gives rip and tear a new meaning
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    • A christian trying to scare people from their harmless human impulses? Whaaaaaat?
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    • So does that mean I get a free succubus?
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    • If you don’t follow gods 10 rules he will send you to hell where you will burn for all of eternity...but he loves you. Ya trust me, I don’t believe that either lol.
      SSn182 22 jun
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    • Look man, I believe in God but I don't shit on other people for what the believe. Believe what you want, as long as you aren't harming me or anyone I care about, I couldn't care less.
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    • I would absolutely love to hear him support his claims
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    • If the doom slayer nuts in a girl would she get ripped in half?
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    • Nice hells fun we can sin
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    • Do the demons join or help in any way?
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    • Ill claim a demon harem.
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    • You guys ever see that tentacle porn stuff? I’ve been wondering recently what those would feel like? Honestly I think it could be pretty enjoyable
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    • “Let them come.”
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    • Not true, liberal lies
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    • And that’s why I always have my doomsayer helmet on and a loaded shotgun with 24 rounds next to me when I do it
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    • Well i must have the space stone cuz i be openin portals
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    • Me when I start masturbating daily in order to unleash big tiddy dom demon gfs for the people.
      No_Effort 22 jun
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    • A Christian author? Bruh
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    • not_funny 22 jun
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    • Religious kooks
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    • WOULDENT I already have 100+ portals than?
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    • Vons 22 jun
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    • Chaog 25 jun
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    • I_bar 22 jun
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    • For a sec I thought that was a bottle of mayo
      Jerando 22 jun
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    • Didn’t the pope and like every priest and rabbi say it’s alright?
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    • Well I can say that’s wrong from *puts glasses on* ...firsthand experience... “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH”
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    • When people can’t read metaphors and similes anymore.
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    • More made up ways recently invented to bring weak minded and children growing up forced knowing this. let people choose for themselves dont scare them
      a_mike96 22 jun
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    • No
      EvilKingL 22 jun
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    • With the amount of demon hentai in the comments, gonna have to say yeah
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    • Guess I opened the biggest portal known to man.
      Yourmum_ 22 jun
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    • Guys anyone ever get so honry at 3am that you wish the devil to take your soul in exchange to have sex with a demonic girl.
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    • That’s a figure of speech.
      V_ortekz 22 jun
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    • For everyone hating on Christians, I understand that we can be annoying. But headlines like these are written by people who are biased against the church already and represent the views of a small amount of us. Do we believe it’s a sin? Yes. But I don’t know anyone who believes it will open a portal
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    • You know this is only encouraging all the helltaker fans, right?
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    • As a Christian, it’s a little frustrating to have all these nincompoops constantly trying to invalidate my religion with stupid pointless rules. Just love your neighbor and move on
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    • My bedroom is a nexus to hell then
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    • I have opened soooooo many portals bro
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    • Guess will we have to find out
      MrMikelA9 22 jun
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    • Interesting
      Weird 22 jun
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    • Oh that’s not so good
      tbxoxnxe 22 jun
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    • People now”hehe Christians dumb!” People later “wow I’m in hell. Christians help me reeeeeeeee!!!”
      NomAnor 22 jun
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    • Yeah is daily too much to masturbate? Asking for a friend of course
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    • Y’all know damn well hell doesn’t exist
      5onathan 22 jun
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    • Finally
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    • Why are there so many trump ads bruh. I feel more orange everyone I open this app
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    • i havent been on ifunny in months 🥺
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    • Yes a portal to hell in your mind as you become self hating, self abusing and eventually a filthy degenerate.
      gliburst 22 jun
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    • All kids mastrrbait you really cant stop them if you do then you will make them more depressed its natural but this dose not mean let them wach porn that's different
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    • content not available more
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    • content not available more
      Krystal 22 jun
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    • Christians are straight cancer and more annoying than furries
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    • GuitarBending
      content not available more
      GuitarBending 22 jun
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    • content not available more
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    • Your god calls you sheep and you eat that shit up
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    • Hes christian, meaning he was stupid enough to believe what they said in church, and lemme tell you thats a one of a kind retard right there, im not shitting on christians but i have a question, continue reply
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    • Christian's are so dumb. They believe the dumbest shit.
      JGeorge 22 jun
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    • Christians are one of the worst groups out there. Way worse than any of these other "prejudice and oppressive" groups. It's one of the most judgemental and shameful beliefs that exist today.
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    • "I must break my vows, for I must consume."
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    • According to lore doom slayer is actually a virgin
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    • It’s true. It starts out with normal porn then goes off into all kinds of crazy directions like hairy milf, horse fist, dog puss, underage poop eating, midget farting
      Julmust 25 jun
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    • No wonder my job seems haunted
      tnrknght 25 jun
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    • Some people will go to any lengths necessary in order to force their ideals on you. Those people suck
      6KL6WN6 25 jun
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    • Well then I opened a portal 5 minutes ago
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    • literally anything that isn’t shoving a cross up your ass while residing every verse in the bible before bed can lead you to hell for them.
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    • I started not knowing at bad porn early.. I wish someone guided me more on that
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    • *Heavy Breathing*
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    • Ive always felt something was watching me from the bottom of my staircase while i was in the bathroom when i woke up for my 2:30am piss.
      RickGarza 25 jun
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    • Man, then there are so many portals to hell in my room
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    • Me rn
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    • Theres actually nothing in it about masturbation. Depending on which falsely translated version you go with
      moldydog 25 jun
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    • All these people talking shit about Christianity are sad
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    • Well when I do it I feel wrong afterwards so might be proof right there, then again I've done it so much I'm basically putting damage on the already beaten up soul so might aswell kick it while its dead. Time to go jerk off
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    • Lmfao
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    • I just thought of the portals in endgame
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    • BULL SHIT
      jaeare 24 jun
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    • Had a wet dream where I was being fucked by a nonhuman no animal and it was very shiny, almost no form to it, and erotic. I came in my sleep. Am I mated with a demon now?
      TheCrow 24 jun
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    • F
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    • This is big funny
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    • I mean if some demon dudes gonna whisper in my ear like the first pic I might just...
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    • Well how come I havent seen any demons yet I say that's a load of bullshit because that's just human nature and I can even say that as a person who is a christian and reads the bible whoever wrote that had very strict parents who probably had a camera on them 24/7
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    • Definitely not how that works, probably wasn’t meant to be taken literally
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    • Then call me gateway mother duckers
      gogogogo 24 jun
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