• Y contestas
'One ofthe baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time
Tm working there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal
human words but are just slightly off-the-wall
Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put
in motion for you today?
Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment,
What else can I get started for you?
'Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.
Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else
today?
Barista: "slams open drive-thru window HI HOW ARE YOU?
Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you're about to be, "hands
them their coffee"
Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: "slams open window" SO
how do you feel about surprises?
'Customer they're okay.
Barista: Great because I'm about to give you one.
Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which
'means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. You have one
ink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this
straw doubles as a magic wand,
Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myset.
Barista: "slams open window, holding drink" Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you
are a very lucky maniwoman!
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  • 745 comments

    • Not sure how many of you have done retail but working for a while dealing with shit holes and managing to keep that energy. Gotta respect it.
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    • If you manage to have anywhere near that amount of happiness and energy in a fast-food job, you're usually insane or bored
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    • the "do you like surprises?" one is hilarious i wish i wasn't a fuckin retard wooden board at work or i'd use that one
      SnuWolf 30 jun
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    • She sounds like an interactive NPC...
      Claysha 30 jun
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    • Imagine what she says during sex
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    • The surprises one was pretty good
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    • Wait this is a woman, here i thought it was an eccentric gay guy through the whole post.
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    • Idk why, I imagined it as a guy the whole time
      Rethos 30 jun
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    • If life’s a TV show then she on that shit
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    • she’s the main character
      mbires 30 jun
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    • Luna lovegood
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    • Chaotic good
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    • Borderlands npc
      RockJuice 30 jun
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    • I'm usually very sociable and have fun joking around with people, even strangers. But the first time I went to Dutch Bros I wasnt able to think of anything to say because they surprised me by breaking the NPC dialogue. 1/2
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    • Tutorial NPC energy
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    • 100% she’s one of those weird girls in highschool you avoid
      uuck 30 jun
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    • Yooo when I would bartend in college I’d say things that were slightly... off all the time because it would IMMEDIATELY grab the customers attention and make the job go smoothly.
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    • Me (a barista): *furiously scribbling notes*
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    • I bet “barista” is op. There’s just something about it that screams tumblr user
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    • You know these customers did not laugh once
      Thiccsby 30 jun
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    • That barista had anime girl energy
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    • She seems very amusing. I'd like to meet her
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    • The secret is drugs
      dj_fate 30 jun
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    • I went to Taco Bell last night and the guy in the drive thru was so energetic and kind and it was awesome. He ended it by saying “alrighty! Your total comes out to one thousand two hundred and three pennies, see you at the window!”
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    • In my head the barista is Australian for some reason
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    • Imagine chilling in the drive thru and the chick working there just slams the window open full force and yells "HI, HOW ARE YOU?" in your ear. I'd probably get spooked and drive off.
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    • I wish I had the ability to think of rapid responses like this
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    • She’d be great in bed
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    • Wow, I don't have Twitter so THIS is how I find out my coworkers are quoting me!?! I bet this gets lost in the comments.
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    • I think we all instinctively know that girl is hiding something
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    • It’s not as exciting as this, but my sister used to work at a starbucks drive thru. Whenever she was working late, after her manager left, she would say shit like ,”ahoy! Welcome aboard the ss starbucks”
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    • Sounds like sokka on cactus juice
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    • Fools. That is miss Starbuck herself
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    • How many posts from you will I see in one feature set lmao
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    • This fucking crop job
      Xenon_54 30 jun
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    • That’s about how I am at my job, but not as enthusiastic, which is exactly what I want to be. I’m inspired!!
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    • Call me crazy but customers may not like being called a lucky man woman
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    • My old boss at Starbucks would have fired them for not taking coffee seriously enough, meanwhile when ever it gets slightly busy he sits in the back on instagram setting up swinger dates.
      _Donkey 30 jun
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    • Well I liked these phrases and while they may be annoying in school they’re certainly welcome in Starbucks
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    • She didn't get her master's in English Lit for nothing
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    • I'm pretty sure she is Auri from KingkiIIer.
      Dabbler 1 jul
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    • Strong Penelope Garcia energy
      yeet420 30 jun
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    • Manic pixie dream girl
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    • I have a favourite employee at my local starbs who GENUINELY cares about his customers. He makes a point to ask how youre doing and wants to make sure your day goes well. He's a total sweetheart. We in my family have dubbed him our Starbucks daddy. It's sad though, haven't seen him in a month so.
      Tizzy540 2 jul
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    • She makes people feel amazing!
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    • anrem is this u
      Jester 30 jun
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    • This was me. When I worked fast food.
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    • Why do alot of thing seem to be cropped to far to the right now?
      xHAVOCx 30 jun
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    • I have never got a Starbucks in my life or a coffee from a coffee shop in years what is the appeal or is it just all rich white women
      kkkisok 30 jun
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    • Its not that its tldr, its i got half way through it was boring as hell and not funny
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    • I'm not reading all those words!
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    • content not available more
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    • Where’s the funny
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    • Keitho 1 jul
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    • Omg... reminds me of this guy that used to work at the Starbucks near me.. every time he’s at the register he LEANS IN towards the customer... like, you have a line of you people behind you so can’t really back up? But he’s 1ft from your face... dafuq...
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    • I’m not reading that
      mikeyz413 30 jun
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    • Too long, someone tell me if it’s worth reading
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    • I was really disappointed in myself the other day.. delivered pizza to a hotel. i knocked, heard nothing, knocked harder.... guy answers the door and said "i thought you were the police" without thinking i said "I've come to kneel on your rights". it wasn't meant to be a joke, it was for awareness.
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    • CTC_and_DCF I want to befriend this woman
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    • 2020, but it's a movie. Go.
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    • Someone get this barista a job as a disc jockey at a local radio station!
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    • Shes definitely very hyped up on caffeine I've been there 🤣
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    • Just shut the fuck up and give me a coffee
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    • This women walks among us
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    • I like how we are suppose to believe that this person remembered a whole ass conversation she wasn’t even a part of
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    • Now if she gets fired, that's going to be an american tragedy.
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    • Imagine going to Starbucks
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    • PorkSword 30 jun
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    • She’s probably southern.
      ChamberK 30 jun
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    • I aint reading all that shit, sorry that happened, or i’m glad that it did
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    • Do you expect me to read all that shit?
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    • Tbh, idc, I just want my fucking sandwich most of the time. You guys are all sucking her off for saying dumb shit like that, but to normal people, it's mostly aggravating, be mad, it just is
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    • Too long. Not reading all of that.
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    • That's too much reading
      ourban 2 jul
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    • I work at Starbucks and I know a guy like that. He's like we have enough caffeine to put a hole through a dragon
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    • I thought it was a dude at first and he sounded just like Pumat Sol in my head
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    • Dude I wish more people were like that
      noonbee 3 jul
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    • Guys I found my type
      kacey_ 3 jul
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    • Lucky
      Nova12 3 jul
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    • No ones that quirky unless they’re on drugs lmao
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    • Stop the Starbucks stakout and stay home.
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    • Seems like she was raised by good parents
      GNWB 3 jul
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    • should get a job at Disney
      Szyslak 3 jul
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    • Marry her
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    • it sounds like she loves her job and that makes me so happy. i hope it brightens some customers days
      lytalk 3 jul
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    • I was like this working customer service. It was fun to watch the customers pause in confusion and then chuckle, also I didn't give a fuck
      R3V0LT 3 jul
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    • Imagine being able to be heard in a Starbucks. I’m surprised that she was able to say all of those things in one go
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    • Can yall learn to crop
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    • She sounds like she’s be entertaining for a week end then supremely annoying from then on
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    • That is some future manager material right there. Love the attitude!
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    • If Ace Ventura was a woman
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    • Sex
      RIPTI 3 jul
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    • Not gonna read it what happened
      RIPTI 3 jul
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    • She’s got Flo energy
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    • "Put the extra love in" sounds like that coffee is in the back with some guy about to nut
      EyeIsMe 3 jul
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    • Reminds me of my 9th grade earth science teacher
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