• ª tonystark-tm
not to be a history fucker on main but the whole
mystery of the lost colony of roanoke is so fucking
funny
ªtonystark-tm
governor of the colony: hey I’m gonna go back to
england to get more supplies
115 colonists: okay
governor: ends up spending 3 years in england bc of
a naval warwith spain or some shit
governor: gets back to the colony to find everyone
gone
governer: sees the word “croatoan”, the name of a
native american tribe, carved into a post
croatoan tribe: has members and children with
blonde hair/blue eyes, pale skin
everyone: what could have happened to the
colonists of roanoke
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    • But Supernatural said it was because of a demon STD.
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    • It gets wilder. Apparantly there was evidence of them moving to a nearby island
      Kilonova 21 may
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    • "Native pussy got me acting strange"
      OeYe 21 may
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    • They never found the tribe, they have no idea where they came from or what they looked like so idk where you got that info from
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    • It's way more complicated than this
      scenic87 21 may
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    • He told them to carve where they went into a tree if they went somewhere in the months (or years rather) that he was gone. He told them to underline it if they were being forced to leave by natives. When he came back, the name was carved into the tree. It was not underlined, so they left by choice.
      Jpaws 22 may
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    • It was only three years. People don’t forget a language that quick. If they were near by and alive I’m sure they would have made themselves known
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    • The governor was that guy in the group that nobody likes. He goes to the bathroom and everyone leaves. As soon as he sailed over the horizon, their like: “and...he’s gone, let’s go. Hurry let’s go before he comes back.”
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    • Some of the colonists today the natives and as retaliation the natives burnt down the village but a few of the colonists got away and moved to an island
      wkrizak 21 may
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    • That’s a theory, not a fact. There are other likely theories. For example, a tribe called Croatoan traveled to the British colony and inherited them into their tribe
      YeEeETT 21 may
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    • Actually, when the governor returned, they didn't even find any remains of the village, no walls or anything. that also includes ashes or bones. there is absolutely nothing, no evidence that it was burned or taken down... It just disappeared.
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    • My best guess is they natives came, killed the men, claimed the women, and assimilated the children.
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    • i didn't know about the croatoan tribe so for the past like ten years i've been enjoying the idea that the colonists just disappeared but this is cool, too
      Denji 21 may
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    • Not quite true. Croatan tribe claims ancestry but only 1 account supports this. There were reports of grey eyes in tribes in the late 1600’s, but not with Croatans and could still be faked accounts. Genetic sequence project has found nobody related since 2007. Roanoke is still a mystery.
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    • The men were killed, the children assimilated, and the women today/assimilated by the tribe. Happened all the time in North America between tribes at war.
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    • There’s no concrete evidence that happened, though. The reason Roanoke is a mystery is because the people vanished without a trace, only leaving behind “Croatoan”. There was evidence that there was no struggle and that the settlers weren’t forced out, nor did they leave in a hurry.
      eevee1007 21 may
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    • The guy tried to go find the Croatoan tribe but got stopped several times by storms. He ended up giving up and leaving. The descendent of the Croatoan tribe have unusually Caucasian features and I think later on colonists who met the tribe noted Caucasian features. The og guy never found the tribe.
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    • The interesting thing is they found Caucasian traits all throughout the state (NC for those who don't know) but NEVER FOUND THE COLONISTS never, not one single white colonist was ever found. If they'd all been killed off by a disease at the same time they wouldn't have been able to spread their
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    • The tribe didn't look like that. And there was an island called Croatoan not too too far away, and it's possible they were attempting to go down there, but disease abd weather knocked them into the water.
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    • Croatioan wasnt a native tribe, it was a word without meaning and therefore perplexing to the discovorer
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    • It’s same thing as historians not being able to figure out where a lost Roman Legion west going east of Asia Minor for the longest time until finding ancient Chinese records describing pretty much Roman military formations and a group of people in China that have naturally blonde hair and blue eyes
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    • I did a project on this in elementary school and called it 'dude, where's my colony?' and I thought I was the funniest fucker alive
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    • Has anyone ever wondered if 52k people have actually liked this meme ?
      ssingh 22 may
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    • I thought the who deal was that all there stuff was still there as if they all disappeared in the middle of every day life.
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    • Yup, sounds about white
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    • This is why people hate Tumblr dumb fucks. "Hey I've read about this for five minutes on Wikipedia so I know more about it than people who have been studying it longer than I've even been alive" sums up their entire ideology.
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    • Everytime I see croatoan now all I think of is show Supernatural
      noone99 21 may
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    • “Watch me make a meme filled with non-researched, wrong information!.......Am I famous yet?”
      MissAdler 23 may
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    • I mean... he’s got a point lol the colonists merely assimilated into the Indian tribe as a matter of survival
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    • American Horror Story says they still slaying bitches
      samdmh13 21 may
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    • Azuki_OP 21 may
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    • I like history but this post seems more like this guy trying to subtly brag about his knowledge and that’s just irritating. I mean honestly, who the fuck sits around thinking “I’m gonna post about the Roanoke colony because I think about it a lot 🤪”
      Tolkien 21 may
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    • Yeah i always thought that was the stupidest shit. “There was a tribe that had people with blue eyes, this COULD be wjere they went.” But like...they’d still be alive!! My teacher said aomething like “their descendants were located in a tribe nearby” and i just thought...what the fuck do you mean
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    • yeah but it's only been 3 years, did everyone forget about him and thought it would be funny to pretend they didnt know who he was
      MsVine 21 may
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    • The only funny part was the fact that there is a flavor of airhead called white mystery.
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    • White Mystery was literally just any other flavor but without the food coloring
      Jaizo 22 may
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    • Woman taken men killed
      Twaije 21 may
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    • Except that sign was it. Absolutly nothing else was there. No sign of anyone.
      BIG_DB 21 may
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    • Except no, because they never found any actual evidence that the colonists integrated with Native Americans, i.e. clothing and what not. And it doesn't explain why 'Croatoan' has shown up numerous other times in history.
      Serefin 21 may
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    • Guys, loser being kicked out of art school is why we have hentai, now
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    • He did see the entire word it was just “CRO” and he assumed it was Croatian
      cozii 27 may
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    • No supplies for 3 whole years, it isnt super crazy to think that they just up and left
      Fahkeet 25 may
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    • The children thing is news to me. I always that croatoan was a native word and both the tribe and colony just disappeared
      brownzeus 21 may
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    • Ok for those saying the women and children assimilated and the men killed. Hear me out, the men couldn’t have been killed, there is no evidence whatsoever of any of those colonists bodies on that Island, not a piece of bone connected to any of the colonists
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    • The croatoan tribe didn’t exist until they found the tree. They just blamed it on the nearest tribe and named them the name on the tree
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    • zazul 21 may
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    • MilkGiver 21 may
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    • those mystery air heads were always blueberry
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    • I live on Roanoke Island, so I have had to learn a lot about it. And it's not that simple
      Newsii 23 may
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    • Are you suggesting that generations of mixing bloodlines only takes 3 years
      thewiz119 22 may
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    • But that's not the mystery, the mystery is why that's like that. Like what happened and that could be because someone had a kink for injuns
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    • It was more complicated than that. Did they rape the women and kill the others? Did the other integrate with them? Why did it happen in the first place?
      ccccx 21 may
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    • Tumbler back at it again thinking they know more than experts while they "casually solve the problem"
      Vintasi 21 may
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    • Native pussy got me actin strange
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    • There were stone carving found with letters written on them basically saying to follow them, they lead to the west of the country
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    • Twas the vikings, we have baffled you all again
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    • Fucking WHAT, WE NEVER LEARNED THIS
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    • Don’t let this distract you from the fact that the largest city ever built in the recorded history of humanity was burned down in just 2 days and no ashes were left behind
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    • If it was that simple I don’t think historians would have debated over their fate for centuries
      Wa_ge42 21 may
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    • Sounds like they failed history
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    • Native Americans: ara ara it is
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    • LECHUGAmaster you repub a "I hate Tumblr posts on iFunny" post right after repubbing a Tumblr post, you have become the very thing you set out to destroy
      Benoit 21 may
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    • The tribe thing is a complete myth lol
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    • But after just 3 years, wouldn’t some people still be alive that he knew? I feel like there’s more to this story...
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    • There wasn't even evidence that the Croatans had blonde hair, blue eyes. It was a legend.
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    • U saying they joined the tribe and made some mixed babies?
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    • My profile encourages people who want to build up their forearm
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    • But like, seriously tho there isn't enough evidence to support the idea of integration with the croatoan tribe
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    • Except the tribe denies this ever happened and the village did not look like they moved out
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    • Here’s a thing, many natives can have lighter skin and hair complexations without it meaning they are from the Roanoke expedition. Also, why didn’t the Croatoan White people say “hey” to the returning colonists when they met? Yeah, nice try, you tried to sound smart but failed. Next.
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    • Not to mention the next island over was named Croatoan, but people were still like "What the hell does that mean?"
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    • Blond hair blue eyed babies are the cutest.
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    • Guys guys guys guys all your questions will be answered by AHS its on netflix
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    • *off in the distance* “they got laiiiiiiiiiid”
      M00NKING 21 may
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    • I remember learning about this but I’ve never heard this part of the story before
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    • Now this is just getting creepy, I was thinking about Roanoke about two days ago at work because we were slow and now there’s a feature about it.
      Corziba 21 may
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    • Well we also found some funky skeletons in the coal mines a few back
      PappaQTip 21 may
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    • Yeah but there was literally no trace of there ever being a colony there. Everything just disappeared.
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    • The natives actually wiped out the colony and the survivors resettled with various other tribes
      OGLucky 21 may
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    • American Horror Story: Roanoke
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    • The white flavor isn’t a mystery, it’s the flavor created when they refill the syrup. That’s why it taste like 2 different flavors all the time
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    • Oh I get it, because internet explorer is slow!
      Snavels 25 may
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    • I mean, I can't believe I never thought of this before. But the governor could've just gone back to the wrong place. Idk maybe he forgot where it was or something?
      madcatter 25 may
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    • 115 colonists huh, they all got turned into zombies
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    • LanaRain 22 may
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    • Thank you Kanye, very cool
      runaway15 21 may
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    • Next you can try “The Mysteries of Grammar and Why You Can’t Use It Correctly.” I highly recommend it.
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    • In middle school we had to do a project where we could come up sith what we thought happened and my friend made like a 40 slide ppt about aliens taking them
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    • im native and honestly i dont give a fuck about any of this i live in the suburbs son
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    • See this is why normal people aren’t archeologists, you’ve proven nothing lol just made an assumption based on an opinion you formed off one possibility...there’s a lot more to it than just that
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    • the ‘White Mystery’ bit is funnier when you know that the governor's name was John White
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