When you're wrapping Christmas presents and the scissors start to glide
Meth Meth
7 dec 2020
When you're wrapping Christmas presents and the scissors start to glide
A little boy asks his dad; "What's be mom's legs?"
tween mom's legs?"
The father answers," Paradise."
The kid asks again, "Whats between your legs?" The father replies, "The key to paradise."
Then, the son says, "Piece of advice dad, change the lock. The neighbor has a copy."
total_insertrave total_insertrave
17 jun
A little boy asks his dad; "What's be mom's legs?" tween mom's legs?" The father answers," Paradise." The kid asks again, "Whats between your legs?" The father replies, "The key to paradise." Then, the son says, "Piece of advice dad, change the lock. The neighbor has a copy."
I just hired this babysitter for my ex husband
' = we
fa
Lindaberry Lindaberry
20 may
I just hired this babysitter for my ex husband ' = we fa
when I'm sad my dog goes outside and tries to bring me things. today she brought me a pine cone
kusmus69 kusmus69
22 sep 2020
when I'm sad my dog goes outside and tries to bring me things. today she brought me a pine cone
spongebob episodes be silly as hell then they have one shot like this
spongebob episodes be silly as hell then they have one shot like this
If you want to understand the Universe
Ale
Rr
Ft>
aA
re
Stop believing you are an APE on a Spinning Ball!
If you want to understand the Universe Ale Rr Ft> aA re Stop believing you are an APE on a Spinning Ball!
When I'm in a Zoom meeting and I hear someone's cat meow
I would like to see the baby.
JmoneyWitDaHoneys JmoneyWitDaHoneys
25 sep 2020
When I'm in a Zoom meeting and I hear someone's cat meow I would like to see the baby.
Mom buying me something:
Mom buying herself something:
Superleftygamer Superleftygamer
26 sep 2020
Mom buying me something: Mom buying herself something:
Pug owners: "My little cutie"
The pug:
LegendaryChipRack LegendaryChipRack
20 jan 2021
Pug owners: "My little cutie" The pug:
playing vr and that punch sounded alot like the TV
(confused unga bunga)
Lo_mein_mayne Lo_mein_mayne
9 dec 2020
playing vr and that punch sounded alot like the TV (confused unga bunga)
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN 2
THIS WOULD BREAK
BOK OFFICE
snoopyWrldwtf_90s snoopyWrldwtf_90s
20 oct 2020
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN 2 THIS WOULD BREAK BOK OFFICE
Charlie Moore
@socalledcharlie
Forget your zodiac sign, tell me which monopoly piece you play.
GeneralGrievousReacts GeneralGrievousReacts
24 sep 2020
Charlie Moore @socalledcharlie Forget your zodiac sign, tell me which monopoly piece you play.
my phone suspiciously started acting up around the time Apple is releasing a new one.
iFoneOS
19 oct 2020
my phone suspiciously started acting up around the time Apple is releasing a new one.
Every cat owner ever:
OMG SO CUUUUTEEE!
Every cat owner ever: OMG SO CUUUUTEEE!
Dafua?
Whose hand is that?
Dafua? Whose hand is that?
Rogue could sneak up behind One Punch Man
Touch his bald head and absorb his power.
Then she could punch him, Superman & Goku all dead. That way we'd never have to see another debate about Goku vs Superman, etc.
CrimsonTynan CrimsonTynan
25 sep 2020
Rogue could sneak up behind One Punch Man Touch his bald head and absorb his power. Then she could punch him, Superman & Goku all dead. That way we'd never have to see another debate about Goku vs Superman, etc.
Woke up at Sam to watch the sunrise with
by ag
my cat in celebration of 1 year since my last overdose
15429 311
funnytime funnytime
1 may
Woke up at Sam to watch the sunrise with by ag my cat in celebration of 1 year since my last overdose 15429 311
when you come out of the store and you have an airgasm
Airgasm: Intense pleasure from the air felt on the face when the mask is removed.
summersfullife summersfullife
8 sep 2020
when you come out of the store and you have an airgasm Airgasm: Intense pleasure from the air felt on the face when the mask is removed.
winona ryder invented the titanic leo dicaprio Look before leo dicaprio
dadhopper
Titanic where everything is the same but winona ryder plays Jack and we get to see her and Kate winslet fall in love
magyaroxcy magyaroxcy
9 mar
winona ryder invented the titanic leo dicaprio Look before leo dicaprio dadhopper Titanic where everything is the same but winona ryder plays Jack and we get to see her and Kate winslet fall in love
5 yo Me: "Mom I don wanna get out the cat. it's raining! I'm scared!"
My Mom: "Come on sweetie, there's nothing to be afraid of"
The Rain:
The_Surfing_Pikachu The_Surfing_Pikachu
24 sep 2020
5 yo Me: "Mom I don wanna get out the cat. it's raining! I'm scared!" My Mom: "Come on sweetie, there's nothing to be afraid of" The Rain: