When you're walking with ur dog at night & suddenly he stops & stares into the empty darkness & starts growling
Me: *starts singing gospel songs*
overstuffedopossum overstuffedopossum
24 sep 2020
When you're walking with ur dog at night & suddenly he stops & stares into the empty darkness & starts growling Me: *starts singing gospel songs*
When you are about to go out with the boys so your girl beats ya off to make sure you have no energy to chase hoes
When you are about to go out with the boys so your girl beats ya off to make sure you have no energy to chase hoes
Tne entire screentime or Marvel
Cinematic Universe is 3000 minutes.
I love you, 3000.
SwiftUI SwiftUI
16 oct 2020
Tne entire screentime or Marvel Cinematic Universe is 3000 minutes. I love you, 3000.
my phone suspiciously started acting up around the time Apple is releasing a new one.
iFoneOS
19 oct 2020
my phone suspiciously started acting up around the time Apple is releasing a new one.
EPIC BOOBS
Can turn heterosexual females into lesbians in 0.39 seconds
JFly420 JFly420
10 feb
EPIC BOOBS Can turn heterosexual females into lesbians in 0.39 seconds
POST THIS CAT
WholeFuckingMilk WholeFuckingMilk
25 sep 2020
POST THIS CAT
WHEN youre having a good time around the cave bonfire but you remember you have 10 hours of berry picking
tomorrow
areyoueatingtho areyoueatingtho
3 jan 2021
WHEN youre having a good time around the cave bonfire but you remember you have 10 hours of berry picking tomorrow
Me: *Gets mugged by a hot lady in the alley
Cops: Do you remember anything about the robber?
TITTIES, YES I REMEMBER,
imminentSpillednut imminentSpillednut
12 jan 2021
Me: *Gets mugged by a hot lady in the alley Cops: Do you remember anything about the robber? TITTIES, YES I REMEMBER,
Duck_II Duck II Goose
slant3d3y3 slant3d3y3
15 apr
Duck_II Duck II Goose
My answer whenever someone asks me how old am
ON
BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO
captaincrunchberries captaincrunchberries
30 dec 2020
My answer whenever someone asks me how old am ON BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO
When you find an old photo of your mom and dad that you wish you could unsee.
DarthBoner DarthBoner
12 sep 2020
When you find an old photo of your mom and dad that you wish you could unsee.
Warealle
@wareable
Amazon Echo Frames glasses lets
Alexa sit on your face
Uzi Hurt
@lostblackboy
LETS ALEXA DO WHAT
Warealle @wareable Amazon Echo Frames glasses lets Alexa sit on your face Uzi Hurt @lostblackboy LETS ALEXA DO WHAT
"A hot dog is not a sandwich." The crowd murmurs in general agreement.
"In fact.....Itis a taco." The crowd forms into an angry mob as I am forcibly carried towards the guillotine.
ladefuckingda ladefuckingda
24 sep 2020
"A hot dog is not a sandwich." The crowd murmurs in general agreement. "In fact.....Itis a taco." The crowd forms into an angry mob as I am forcibly carried towards the guillotine.
Me: "igota tox tooth!
MOM: "t's wait uni it fals off naturally"
dad:
ShaneTrowell
17 feb
Me: "igota tox tooth! MOM: "t's wait uni it fals off naturally" dad:
When you ask someone why they're depressed but they jump off the bridge instead
All right. then. Keepfyour secrets.
When you ask someone why they're depressed but they jump off the bridge instead All right. then. Keepfyour secrets.
if a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help. follow the doc and you'll get a free purse or wallet
Me realising I'dals
get house a family
another dog, a new ID also and, if he's Marrj
jajsjsjdj
23 sep 2020
if a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help. follow the doc and you'll get a free purse or wallet Me realising I'dals get house a family another dog, a new ID also and, if he's Marrj
Politicians getting their paychecks
Lr
AN \ it ain't honest, but it
Politicians getting their paychecks Lr AN \ it ain't honest, but it
When she says she uses OnlyFans but there's an AC unit at her house
Liar
CryHarder CryHarder
25 may
When she says she uses OnlyFans but there's an AC unit at her house Liar
FUN FACT: a majority of archeologists are women due to their natural ability to dig up the past
FUN FACT: a majority of archeologists are women due to their natural ability to dig up the past