When you accidently choke her to death but she has nipple piercings
Wyked Wyked
28 oct 2020
When you accidently choke her to death but she has nipple piercings
A man tried to rob a bank after paying $500 to wizard to make him invisible
blasterkeg1972 blasterkeg1972
26 feb
A man tried to rob a bank after paying $500 to wizard to make him invisible
The gun store fudd:
Convinces my mom a .380 won't even go through a leather jacket
Me just trying to get her a gun:
Galactic_Obama Galactic_Obama
3 jan 2021
The gun store fudd: Convinces my mom a .380 won't even go through a leather jacket Me just trying to get her a gun:
This cat has a stool reserved at my I pub. He sits in the same seat every night, quietly watc the other patrons.
Mat
steamed_ham steamed_ham
26 sep 2020
This cat has a stool reserved at my I pub. He sits in the same seat every night, quietly watc the other patrons. Mat
Winner for best Christmas ornament
Re
yelims yelims
28 dec 2020
Winner for best Christmas ornament Re
Why do cats purr?
ApocritaArchive ApocritaArchive
29 sep 2020
Why do cats purr?
Size comparison of a giant ground sloth, glyptodon, and a terror bird.
PLATE
GIANT GROUND SLOTH TERROR BIRD
WEIGHT
TONNES
PM
Fox_Flame Fox_Flame
23 sep 2020
Size comparison of a giant ground sloth, glyptodon, and a terror bird. PLATE GIANT GROUND SLOTH TERROR BIRD WEIGHT TONNES PM
World's oldest person
breaks her own record by turning 117
That's lot of dam iis
Flamineous Flamineous
10 nov 2020
World's oldest person breaks her own record by turning 117 That's lot of dam iis
Dogs as soon as they are born be like:
@memessss28)
All know is that I must be a good boy
TexasWind TexasWind
21 sep 2020
Dogs as soon as they are born be like: @memessss28) All know is that I must be a good boy
What if I got pulled over by a cop and just made this face the whole time
DaPlatypusRider DaPlatypusRider
19 nov 2020
What if I got pulled over by a cop and just made this face the whole time
AUTOPILOT
ENGAGED
Uh look! It says 'Autopilot Engaged'!
Good for him. I'm glad he found someone.
Leroy8 Leroy8
23 sep 2020
AUTOPILOT ENGAGED Uh look! It says 'Autopilot Engaged'! Good for him. I'm glad he found someone.
*walks into debate club*
"you're all wrong"
*doesn't elaborate*
samn00ted27
10 apr
*walks into debate club* "you're all wrong" *doesn't elaborate*
McDonalds:
Adds self-order machines
Introverts:
faplessing from the
ChuckyCoupons ChuckyCoupons
26 feb
McDonalds: Adds self-order machines Introverts: faplessing from the
she a glass of milk
Retired_Sinner Retired_Sinner
21 sep 2020
she a glass of milk
when netflix asks if ur still there and u see your reflection in the screen
fishboy26 fishboy26
30 apr
when netflix asks if ur still there and u see your reflection in the screen
Anohrak Anohrak
28 sep 2020
STFU bitch I'm listening to Battle of Endor (Medley) John Will finest
@LilithLovett
"To get one's revenge is Based.
To pussy out at the last second during the third act is Cringe".
- Confucius
Bonti Bonti
24 feb
@LilithLovett "To get one's revenge is Based. To pussy out at the last second during the third act is Cringe". - Confucius
Futurist Futurist
23 sep 2020
Athiests when they Realize there listening to Rap God And Not Rap Science
Me about to say "happy 25th birthday" to the attractive, 45-year old recent divorce in the office
OsamaBinHarden OsamaBinHarden
30 dec 2020
Me about to say "happy 25th birthday" to the attractive, 45-year old recent divorce in the office