• when i was in grade 5 some kid told me the
song "wake me up when september ends"
was about 9/11 and i believed him until like
three years ago
a buzzlightyearhugecock
i cried so hard when we watched the lion
king in first grade that my teacher called my
parents and sent me home early
ES buzzlightyearhugecock
in high school i was questioned by
the principal over drug use because i
accidentally left my notebook in the
bathroom and a teacher opened it to a
drawing of an anime character saying "all i
want for christmas is weed" but really i was
a repressed nerd and never smoked a weed
in my life
a buzzlightyearhugecock
i made a joke about anal fissures in front
of my extremely religious roommate and
i thought she was gonna yell at me but
instead she asked what an anal fissure was
a buzzlightyearhugecock
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    • thanks “buzzlightyearhugecock”
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    • I tried to comfort my mom when she was sad over the death of someone she knew by saying I know her pain and comparing it to ace dying in one piece
      575 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • The biggest sucker punch is the username
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    • Vagina
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    • For a project we had to answer a bunch of questions about summer like what plans we had and what we where looking forward to doing, 3 of my friends answered several of the questions by saying they would break my kneecaps, and I wrote that I was afraid of people breaking my kneecaps, but they also
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    • This is a confession booth so might as well tag along. In 1st grade I announced it was my best friend's birthday to the class. He interrupted me to say that his birthday was next month. I went to the nurse and somehow managed to get sent home I still remember it because its so embarrassing to me
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    • i almost got charges pressed against me cause i beamed an apple at a kids head cause he was being a douche
      jajum 2 jul
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    • When I was a child I watched Happy Gilmore and found out that Adam Sandler was Jewish so I begged my parents to let me be Jewish and when they said no I cried so hard I threw up and ran away to the park for two hours
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    • So you guys know about the white cat logo that flips you off? I decided to make a cut out of it to fit it in my shirt pocket, all you had to do is lift it up to show it flipping you off. A teacher saw it and was like- “oh that’s cute!” She proceeded to try and pick it up from my pocket.
      Keitorin 2 jul
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    • In 3rd grade I shit my pants in front of everyone at recess cause I was trying not to laugh at some girl who was a massive bitch who just broke her arm on the monkey bars
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    • My friend in high school crushed up smarties and got sent to the principals office cause the janitor thought it was coke
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    • In seventh grade i walked into class and yelled "smells like bedsheets after a wet dream." I also got suspended for having a knife on school property.
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    • I got in trouble in second grade because we had to pick partners for a project and the teacher said use your index finger and point to your partner, and i used my middle finger because i didn't know what my index finger was. I didn't even know the implication of using the middle finger...
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    • I once dropped something in front of a teacher an said dammit. The teacher told me to watch my language and I promptly responded, "Oh shit, sorry"
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    • People when they see retail workers:
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    • 116 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I said a kid looked like a girl because he had a pony tail in 6th grade and he cried and I got sent to ISS for 3 and a half days, fucking bullshit fuck you Sam Snyder
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    • I was sitting next to this one cool kid and he was getting a handy through his pocket from the class thot, and mind you, this was in like 6th grade. I saw this, and jokingly said, "guess you can't guess whats in MY pocket." They both looked at me like I was autistic, and I just had to walk away
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    • I once laughed at a joke so hard that chocolate milk shot out of my nose and the lunch lady yelled at me so much that she sent me to the principals office while I cried
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    • Got in trouble for "enciting gang activity and spreading gang beliefs" we're all white kids in robotics and this is because we were all pissed that JOSHUA FORD slammed a girls head into a locker because she rejected him. Its fine. Because i got him a week ago for it. Had to wait a long time-
      greyham 3 jul
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    • I once got sent down to the principals office in kindergarten for talking about the drake and Josh Christmas special.
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    • I thought polar express was live action
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    • In kindergarten I thought my friend came into the bathroom behind me wearing his sick-ass TMNT shirt so without looking I said "hi turtle boy" then I turned around and it was 100% not my friend so I dipped out
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    • Confession time? Oh boy, my mom was extremely neglectful when I was a kid and now she blaming me for it cuz I "never tried talking to her" and this bitch knows how excited I was when she came home, I'd tell her about the things I did and all that. I hate her
      jackzz 2 jul
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    • If this person, and pukicho made a let's play channel, would you guys watch it?
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    • I saved a princess and ended up fucking her
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    • When I was 9, I had a "boyfriend" named Dominic who was cheating on me with my best friend. I tried to stab him with a pencil. When that didn't work, I tied him to a tree with a jump rope from our classroom, and left his ass there. Everyone thought he left campus like he usually does, 1/2
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    • Alright, I give. What tf is an "anal fissure"?
      7854 2 jul
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    • in fifth grade i got called gay, and was very upset over it. which is funny in retrospect because i AM gay. so...
      starkid 3 jul
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    • Confession: I married a friend in first grade, and got a divorce in 7th grade. I haven’t been able to find love since.
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    • In Texas High School, you got spanked, SPANKED. They’d bend you over and swat your ass for anything. Never happened to me, but deadass 17+ is basically an adult human being and your spanking them for taking too long in the bathroom.
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    • I once got in trouble in college because my notebook looked like a book to the professor, who in the middle of lecture, called me out from the back of a room of 120 students for disrespecting her lecture by reading
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    • In 1st grade some kid told me S on your report card was like getting an F so I hid my report card in my desk and wouldn't take it home and kept getting in a ton of trouble for not bringing it cause I thought I would get in more trouble for the S, my parents ended up going to my school to get it
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    • I also have a religious roommate, and have made jokes that I then had to explain. That dear sweet girl wouldn't take "you don't want to know" for an answer
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    • I though the holocaust was 9/11 until I was lile 15.
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    • I was once questioned by my school counseling department about depression because I answered yes to the question "Do you feel sad sometimes?"
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    • A rival for pukicho
      bigblu42 2 jul
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    • Buzzlightyearhugecock
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    • I had a friend who's super innocent because her family are like extremely devout Christians and she really didn't know what "pornhub" was or who was Mia Khalifa. She didn't even know what Playboy was. Sometimes I wonder wtf she doing nowadays.
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    • The cafeteria at my elementary school was ass. Once when I was getting breakfast, I said to my friend “oh this breakfast is gross” and I got my tray and sat down. The lunch lady followed me all the way across the cafeteria to my table just to scream at me in front of everyone that I (pt1)
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    • Chadlightyear
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    • Wait.... is hatsune miku not a real person?..... guys?
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    • I got yelled at for saying balls in my chemistry class so naturally I started to list every type of ball in existence until I got sent to the principals office. That was the 1 and only class I ever failed. Worth it
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    • Isn't wake me up when September ends actually about 9/11 and when Billy Joe Armstrong's dad dies
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    • crazy how in 5th grade i got a week detention for bringing a water gun to school but in 9th i had a knife on me everyday and nobody batted an eye
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    • I snorted lemon drink powder at lunch and sneezed yellow for a week in 7-8th grade
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    • In school was questioned by the principal about if I make bombs
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    • My brother is super into cars and I met one of his friends who went to the same high school that I’m in now. The principle changed between when he and I were there. I’ve heard some weird shit about that guy. The kid told me that he was taking a test and the principle he had just walked up to him 1/2
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    • You werent the smartest kid in the neighborhood
      Dreth 2 jul
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    • In 8th grade in my science class I got sent to the office because I told the person that was working next to me to, "SHUT THE FUCK UP" because that person was being overly obnoxious about how much she was in "love" with an iconic singer
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    • I've been extremely shy my whole life. In 8th grade my science teacher would always call on me for nearly every question (on purpose) & one day, she mocked me (my quiet voice) & i was about to just start crying right there but it was really hard cause I didn't want to do it in front of people cause-
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    • One time in fourth grade the teacher was doing play assignments or reading to us or something. I had recently gone on a camping trip and swallowed nasty water in the lake there. I felt like I was going to throw up so I was super nauseous, and I had asked to go to the bathroom. She told me if it
      iiLuciel 3 jul
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    • Damn tbh I was going to jump on the bandwagon and confess about stupid shit, but I don't really have anything that comes to mind. Most of my confessions are just dark and depressing.
      The_Game 3 jul
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    • i got in trouble for writing "penis" in a mad libs at school
      MegaYote 3 jul
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    • the teacher is giving out think sheets in 8th grade that’s some high level boomer shit right there
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    • I didn't read the name of the guy til the last panel
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    • In 7th or 8th grade our science teacher actually had us stand up as a class and yell “penis” and “vagina” to get over the awkwardness. Then a classmate said “d**k” and the teacher got mad.
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    • In all fairness the music video Green Day made about the song did involve 9/11 and boy joining the military as a result so it’s not a crazy conclusion to come to.
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    • In middle school Vice principles (we got 2 of em) and the security guard pulled me outta history class and took me to the office and accused me of supplying weed to my group of friends. There I was a lil Filipino boy being accused of being a weed supplier in a white school and interrogated me 1/2
      Jasian69 4 jul
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    • I single-handedly got DeviantArt banned from my school the first week of freshman year because I kept showing people softcore Shrek X Shadow the Hedgehog.
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    • I was once waiting in the schools office to go home because I was sick and they threatened to give me detention if I kept coughing
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    • I got in trouble in middle school because I finally had the courage to bully back the person that was bullying me.
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    • A weed
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    • Good. Vagina is part of anatomy. Not a bad word.
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    • Sefrius 4 jul
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    • If you’re in first grade, and you cry over The Lion King, that’s understandable. The teacher was probably just being a bitch .
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    • Fucking freak
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    • In like 5th grade, some kid asked me if i had been to the "eat my mom" website and I misheard him. I ask did you say, "blubby my mom" and some bitchy black girl just goes, "anon blubbys peoples moms?" And starts going around the room chanting it and i got ISS for a week
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    • School is an interesting place. Can’t wait to finish my senior year this year
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    • In 7th grade i wrote anus on my friends paper and we got in trouble
      dest 3 jul
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    • I feel nothing. Every day is as boring as the last. I have a girlfriend and family who love me, but I dont love them. I have plenty of friends, but they just distract me from the greyness. By all measurements, I have a great life. But im empty. I'm not sad. I'm not happy. I'm nothing. Just a husk.
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    • Middle school story time: Some bitch said she knew karate and started to flimsy throw punches in the air (showing off to her friends). Me walking by was insulted and said "that's not how you do it" then she mocking said "ya it is wtf". Proceeded to side sweep her and took her down 1/2
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    • Basking ball of tumblr
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    • My dog had anal fissures...he lives in a box now
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    • When I was in middle school I had a bad breakfast and had a terrible tummy ache, like bad. I asked the teacher multiple times if I could go to the bathroom but she wouldn't let me. I couldn't hold it in anymore so I just threw up all over the floor
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    • Vagina
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    • Hatsune Miku murdered my dad
      Jugdral 2 jul
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    • I believe you mean 8th grade
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    • In 5th grade on the first day of class I needed to use the restroom, the doors were propped open in a way where you couldnt see the signs, and there was one literally directly outside of the classroom, turns out I used the girls restroom and everyone made sure to collectively laugh at me once I came
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    • In middle school I’d always get into fights that were started by another guy, I didn’t really wanna fight him, but I should have learned that after the 5th time of him trying to fight me I should have knocked him out, but I didn’t because my mother was going through tough things, she had -
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    • I struggle verbally and one day at school my teacher asked what it's called to steal someone's work without crediting or quoting them and I said pornography instead of plagiarism
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    • Not mine. But one time at lunch my friend and I were snorting random things on our lunch tray. The worst for me was pepper. But for him it was milk. Like a good 15 seconds after he snorted it we all laughed our asses off then he just threw up all over his tray. Didnt make a noise. I just looked over
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    • In 1st grade I said that Patrick Star was a jackass and I got sent to the principals office.
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    • In like 3rd grade I think I was having barbecue rib sandwich for lunch but I didn't want it so instead of you know just not eating it I decided to throw it across the cafeteria like an idiot.
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    • In first grade I straight up scratched a boys face cause he was annoying me on the bus. I hope you’re doing well Owen
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Anzelm 3 jul
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    • I wish hatsune miku is real
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    • On my first day of school I was crying and holding on to the door jam because I didn't want to leave home and my mom had to carry me onto the bus by force.
      noataske 2 jul
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    • Ew a European
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Whats 2 jul
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    • When Shrek came out I thought that it was live action with special effects.
      an_E_Pat 5 jul
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    • i got my eyes dilated from the optometrist and when i got home i jerked off and right after i was done i got a massive headache. after it was over i started to see a orange and blue outline around everything and i still do 5 years later. idk wtf i did
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    • When I was in 8th grade I got suspended for 3 weeks for making school S h o 0tings jokes when I got back I stole the drawing book of the guy who told the teachers and cu s s Ed out the principal
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    • Pukicho’s other half
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Why did she say 1st grade but also grade 8. Is she American or Canadian?
      Zoneless 3 jul
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    • I'm a girl and new what a punishment was and what is called in kindergarten, I didn't know what my vagina was called or that it even had a name until 5th grade. WTF anyone else had this problem?
      Himad 3 jul
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    • For some reason I thought nobody else had a gag reflex but me so I went to show my friend and threw up all over my desk
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Wake me up in September is about 9/11 though. It's also about Billie Joe's Dad dying, and the war that was going on at the time
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