• What is the best thing to say to someone
to subtly feck with their head?
sgursel 30k points 9 months ago
What would you change about yourself, apart
from the obvious?
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  • 862 comments

    • This is screwing with me, what is the obvious shit
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    • Walk by a stranger and look them in the eyes and say “wake up” then just keep walking
      larloni 29 jun
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    • Once, on my way out after checking out at a dollar store, the cashier asked me if I wanted my receipt and I answered back "no thanks, I'm full" while placing my hand over my stomach.
      ZanderX10 29 jun
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    • This is one of my absolute favorite things to do. You go to a mall or crowded area, you go to the dead center of the crowd and just look up. You don't have to say anything, just keep looking up. Out of the corner of your eye you can watch how many people do the same thing. Simple yet effective.
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    • “I don’t care what everybody say about you, I think you’re a nice guy and you did your best”
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    • Say “oh I remember you” when you first greet someone
      jk10296 29 jun
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    • Straighter teeth
      BigBoyMe 28 jun
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    • When a chick posts a selfie and you comment “you’re so brave”
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    • “ Hey, we need to talk. “ then avoid them like the plague. When they find you, say “ I forgot what it was. “
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    • In the middle of a coversation, say "Wake up", then continue like nothing happened
      Ogami 29 jun
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    • Say "oh you're one of those types" when they say something completely normal
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    • The better question is; what wouldn't I change?
      Swifft 29 jun
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    • (Checks pockets frantically) oh fuck, the bees
      i_am_vide 30 jun
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    • During a conversation reply with something totally senseless and pretend like it flies. This works really well if the person is impaired. Imagine having a convo about work and you reply with “yeah the walls here are pretty low, not as low as the walls in Spain.” Deer in headlights type-reaction.
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    • “I’ve got a knock knock joke, but you gotta start it” “okayy.. Knick knock?” “Who’s there?”
      gushers 29 jun
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    • I heard this and repeated it to some friends, “If you were to have a daughter, would you let her date a guy like you?” and the look on their faces were all the same, “I’m a shitty person holy fuck”
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    • just randomly unsend messages on instagram once in awhile
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    • my acting teacher gave me this one years ago... walk up to someone on the street and in a serious voice say "wanna know how to keep an idiot busy for hours?" and just walk away
      xbuddahx 29 jun
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    • I told my friend he holds his cup weird when he drinks he then tried to readjust his hands but could only hold it more and more weirdly
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    • “You look different when you’re awake”
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    • "It dosnt matter what they say about you. I like you."
      redstuff 29 jun
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    • This wont work on people who are aware of their shortcomings.
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    • Thanks for letting me borrow your teeth last night
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    • just look at someone and shake your head while writing on a clipboard.
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    • What do you do if they ask "what's the obvious"
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    • Sometimes when I'm online ill comment on posts about things in the background like "are we going to ignore her sink?" Or "is nobody going to talk about the wall behind her?" And people reply to me hella confused
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    • My personal favorite is staring at the top of someone’s ear while talking to them instead of into their eyes
      PokeTunes 30 jun
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    • It'll completely fuck someone's rhythm if you say something like "You've got something in your teeth." Especially if they're yelling at you or if they're being a douche nozzle.
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    • Holy shit I gotta right some of these down y’all are geniuses
      Kirbs507 30 jun
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    • "you know it's true what they say about you" and then walk away. Friend says this to people just to fuck with them.
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    • I wish I was brave enough to dress like that in public.
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    • What my uncles does when helping with landscaping: he’ll yell to one of the younger guys “Don’t worry, I got it” and says nothing else
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    • "Oh i have something to tell you!" "...nevermind its nothing"
      Cylic 29 jun
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    • I have a fat friend. Definitely not saying that to him
      Clark_ 30 jun
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    • I wrote a whole ass paragraph and iFunny just gave me the “sPaM cOmMenT” pop up like the fuck
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    • "Did you hear what [x mutual friend] said about you? Oh wait I probably shouldn't say." I've said that before just to fuck with people
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    • One time a coworker came to work stoned off his ass and said “I can barely tell what’s real” so I looked him dead in the face and said “It’s not, you need to wake up Mark your family misses you” and walked away.
      ominous03 30 jun
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    • “Have the day you deserve.” Almost started a few fights with this one.
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    • I’d change my mild autism, just then, it took my 4 tries to type “I’d” because I kept pressing the S key
      LewdClues 29 jun
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    • Didn’t work
      mattomox 1 jul
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    • You cant breathe through your nose with your mouth open.
      turdlet 30 jun
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    • Go to a high school baseball game, wear sunglasses and a button down shirt, have a clipboard and keep writing on it. A BUNCH of parents will think you're a scout and will keep coming up to you and trying to tell you about their kid etc.
      Water1142 30 jun
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    • Back in high school I used to look under people’s chairs or under their desk and then make a surprised/nervous or digusted expression, and then watch as they keep looking under their chair to try to see what’s there, thinking it’s a bug or something.
      Bullshitt 30 jun
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    • You could also say, " are you alright? You don't look so well"
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    • You smell better when you're awake
      Zurn77 29 jun
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    • It's very important to eat your protein, or your protein will eat you
      Cr1tikal 29 jun
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    • Are you nervous about yesterday?
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    • You're so brave
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    • All things considered, you're doing great sweetie
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    • Id say breath very fast and count slowly in your head
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    • You can always see your nose, but your eyes filter it out
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    • Imagine breathing and blinking manually, you stop and wonder, then you wonder why you should and how you should. "Am I breathing in and out the right amount...?" "Am I breathing in and out at a good pace?" "Am I blinking at a normal and good pace?" "What if I didn't blink enough today?" (pt1/2?)
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    • I’ve never been so offended by a post before. Fuck you iFunny
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    • Answer every question with “in real life or in game?”
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    • If you stack a lasagna on top of another lasagna. Do you have two lasagnas or one big lasagna?
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    • Take 50 screenshots of chat in snap
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    • Hey guys is manipulating people wrong?
      DrQuanta 30 jun
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    • "Where did your friend go?" *await puzzled look* "You know the one who was hanging around you a half hour ago?"
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    • The obvious thing is I’m a fat fuck. So the thing I would change is remove some of the ugly ass moles I have on my neck.
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    • Its less fucking with them more just being a dick, like if i said this to a friend he’d say “Hey. Fuck you.”
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    • Just act super disturbed by anything they’re even slightly unsure about. “I don’t know if I’m alone on this, but I breathe kinda heavy when I run.” “Wait-wh- only when you run??” “Y-yes?” *side glance* “...Alright dude...”
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    • Saying "we need to talk" while drunk, and the next day, nobody knows wtf you need to talk about
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    • “I wouldn’t do that but you do you you honey.”
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    • If not my nose, then my boring personality
      FoxyRed 30 jun
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    • How’s y’all day going?
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    • 5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I'd want to have a penis honestly. As a lesbian, there's only so much you can do before it all gets so repetitive.
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    • This by far is the best comment section in all of iFunny, it’s just people coming together and uniting by listing all kinds of ways to destroy someone’s esteem
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    • Nod your head and do an accepting gesture EVERY time they seem uncertain of your judgement until they say something they feel awkward about and then make direct eye contact and say nothing
      Arson 30 jun
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    • I said this to my wife and she said her husband
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    • When someone,s halfway through a story say, I have to talk to the person behind you, and just talk to the space behind them
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    • Milk
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    • Tomboy or mommy?
      Boat_Man 29 jun
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    • And whatever their answer is, just repeat "no no, i said ASIDE from the obvious"
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    • this is a good comment section
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    • One of my all time favorites is my dad’s line. I’ll be telling him about something he doesn’t really care about, and he’ll say “I’m sure your parents are proud.” Masterful
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    • Tried it on my brother just now. Worked like a charm
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    • Not my dick size
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    • I feel like the "obvious" would be like hotter, bigger boobs/dick kinda stuff
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    • Dont sya that shit to me unless you wanna hear something depressing
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    • That would anger some people, not just fuck with them.
      PriceMw 29 jun
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    • This would upset the fuck out of me
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    • Apart from the obvious? Nothing, because I already need to change everything.
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    • I just say "did you notice it yet?" And they say "what" then you just say "guess not"
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    • “Idk why” Fuck with their head my ass
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    • I sometimes will just look at someone and laugh, and never explain why I'm doing it and it fucks with my friends perfectly
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    • You are now breathing manually
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    • “Are those really your knees!?”
      snoopdugg 30 jun
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    • Easy. You are now breathing manually.
      Box23 30 jun
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    • What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other way?
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    • Good teeth(meaning no wisdom teeth either)
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    • Bigger schlong. Not because of societal expectations, but because of the possibility of SELF SUCC.
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    • My brain stopped functioning after reading that question so I'm just going to move on
      Javah 29 jun
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    • Meeting you
      Jca2790 29 jun
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    • How to learn how to blubby people
      AutisDick 29 jun
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    • "God I hate passive aggression." But do it completely unprompted and stare directly at them.
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    • Trippy
      NOTBJACK 1 jul
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    • "It's alright man, you did all you could."
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    • Look at them with a disappointing stare and sigh
      Schephy 1 jul
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