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    • When I lost my virginity it was because the girl I was on a date with said “I’m horny” I’m not good at reading signals but I managed to figure that one out
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        • I used to just whip out my dick and start doing jumping jacks on the bed. Needless to say I have a life time ban from IKEA now.
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          • The way my girlfriend and I first did the do was when we were laying down watching a movie she paused the movie and I said “what’s wrong babe?” And she replied “I just think I’m ready for you to take me to flavor town” I shit you not the best way I’ve ever had sex start
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              • My boyfriend used to just say “Becky u want sum fuq?” 😂 Do you remember that bird video? If you do +1000 health
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                • ARE YOU READY KIDS
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                  • Walk up to your SO, start a conversation about anything, while she’s talking just start staring at her crotch, when she’s stops talking point to it and ask “Are you going to eat that?”
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                      • My gf is embarrassed of the word sex so the first time she said woohoo. I asked if that was a sims reference. She said yes and that’s what we call it now.
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                        • I just say “let’s fuck”, and then they escort me out of the daycare
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                          • I poke his dick and give him a stupid smirky face and say “eh?” like a villager
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                            • All these people talking about their experiences and my virgin ass is over here like:
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                              • I clean the house and take care of our kids, that’s my wife’s horny button
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                                • Not sex but when i got my first handjob with my girl she firmly grasped it and said "can you feel it now mr krabs". Pretty sure i went soft in her hand after that
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                                  • I just whip my dick out and put it in front of my wife's face. Worst open casket funeral ever
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                                    • Me and my gf had sex the 4th day we met. I wasn't even the one to initiate either. She's my first gf too. I've waited 19 years to date anyone till now. And I had no idea I was going to date a nymphomaniac.
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                                      • What's an SO? Sterile Ostrich?
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                                        • Got into a fight last week, pretty pissed about it, but I was horny as hell, so I went downstairs and said “look, I’m still mad as hell, and we can talk about everything tomorrow, but tonight I need sex. I’ll do everything, all you need to do is lay there”. He literally said “WTF? Uh, ok”
                                          MonyC 25d
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                                          • I just walk up, ask her. Always says no, thats our code word. She also says it the whole time we're doing it, which is kinda odd, but whatever.
                                            xFuge 25d
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                                            • My boyfriend always said "lemme smash" like that bird meme with Becky
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                                              • Okay, so basically what I do is I don't have a significant other and I just jack it 17 times a day until my dick feels numb
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                                                • I just make eye contact and ask "sooo, you wanna go.... pip pip the doodlie do?"
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                                                  • I personallu am a fan of yelling out “wanna have sex?” Then yelling back “no!” to myself before she can tell me no
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                                                    • *Lonely blooping noises*
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                                                      • The naked body. Just strip down nude while shes in the bathroom, lay all sexily on the bed and 1 in 3 chance you're getting some. Havent you seen "how I met your mother? "
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                                                        • My ex used to have really good "Fuck me eyes" where she would look at me with them and bite her lip. We'd go to the nearest place to have sex. Although one time we were watching a really bad movie and i used one of the lines to ask her for sex. It worked. I miss her everyday.
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                                                          • You must bring her blue. And sticks. Bitches love sticks
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                                                            • I don’t tell SO’s I want to have sex with them, they’re sex offenders for a reason
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                                                              • Like if you have a big dick
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                                                                • That's... Surprisingly wholesome in a weird way...
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                                                                  • I knock on her bedroom window and she pretends to be scared and acts like she’s calling the cops, but then the cops actually show up, which is weird, and she tells them she’s never met me before (that’s just her fetish, acting like I’m a stranger) and they escort me away.
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                                                                    • This usually works
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                                                                      • *Shouting across the house* “WHATS COOLER THAN BEING COOL?” .......”ICE COLD!” Then we alright alright alright to the bedroom
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                                                                        • I don’t really have to verbally tell my hand it kinda just does it
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                                                                          • So when my boyfriend and i first started having sex, we also first got into minecraft. So whenever we play minecraft we both get horny. So we ask eachother if we wanna play minecraft.
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                                                                              • He texts "lemme get some of that uhhhhhhhhhhh sex"
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                                                                                • I wonder what it's like to be a normal human being who has relationships and sex.
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                                                                                  • Was dating a girl, told my parents we were going to get icecream, ended up just smashing at her place. Started calling Sex "icecream" and vise versa. Caused some glares at actually icecream shops when I asked what kinda sex she wants, I miss her
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                                                                                    • My fiancé and I say "pizza time" since the amazing Spider-Man is the first movie we watched together
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                                                                                      • I used to act like a Silverback gorilla wanting to mate. My ex loved it now she's dating a black dude 🤔
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                                                                                        • Youve achieved peek marriage status
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                                                                                          • I haven’t given my gf the sex talk yet. Lol first graders these days right?
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                                                                                            • I ask my wife and about 98% of the time she says no so I watch porn and go to sleep
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                                                                                              • I tell my husband "Gimme some of dat dick" in the deepest most gravely voice i can achieve
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                                                                                                • Mine asks if I want some Chinese. Cause I love eating that pussy
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                                                                                                  • I wait for my girl to turn to me in bed and then I, in a very strange voice, say “do u want to fAk me!?”
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                                                                                                    • Does this smell like chloroform to you? Usually does the trick.
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                                                                                                      • Need me a girl like that
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                                                                                                        • My most recent bae thing isnt a big initiator. But we were both laying in bed and I accidentally punched her crotch cus I moved my arm too fast to scratch my leg. She looked me dead in the eye and said "dont start something you can't finish" I fucking died and immediately put my hand inside of her
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                                                                                                          • Call me life cuz imma fuck you
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                                                                                                            • “You wanna....you know....do the ying yang with the wing wang”
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                                                                                                              • "Hey honey, will you come load the dishwasher?"
                                                                                                                Titil 25d
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                                                                                                                • “Oops I dropped my MAGNUM condom that I use for my magnum dong” - Frank Reynolds IASIP
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                                                                                                                  • My Ex GF used to open a condom packet and say “Ooops! Well, we’d better use this before it spoils.”, and then wink at me. Man I wish we still lived in the same city.
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                                                                                                                    • SO= Sex Object
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                                                                                                                      • My wife understands if I spank her more than once. And I understand cuz she says "would you like to get naked?"
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                                                                                                                          • My girlfriend just asks "want sum fuk?" And it does the trick
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                                                                                                                            • I just turn over and say "you want some fuck?"
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                                                                                                                              • My boyfriend says "Gimme the bussy boss. Boss. The bussy. I want some bussy." And I have never been so unattracted to a man at that point
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                                                                                                                                • When I read SO I thought it meant supervising officer I was so confused
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                                                                                                                                  • I met a girl at a hotel party after a high school dance and she told me that she thought we would make gorgeous babies together. So I told her "We're too young to have kids but that shouldn't stop us from practicing" We went upstairs and banged it out until her boyfriend came looking for her.
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                                                                                                                                    • My girl’s initials are BLT, so I tell her that I’m gonna eat my sandwich when I get home.
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                                                                                                                                        • I just poke my fiancé in the butt and go “commmmmeee ooonnnn. ssseeexxxxx!!”
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                                                                                                                                          • I’m literally 3 minutes away from losing my virginity wish me luck guys
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                                                                                                                                            • This is the kind of relationship I want to have
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                                                                                                                                              • I haven’t lost my virginity yet because I never lose
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                                                                                                                                                • I just say “get in the van”
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                                                                                                                                                  • She just rapes me 🤷🏻‍♂️.
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                                                                                                                                                    • “Hey what’s wrong you wanna have sex about it?”
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                                                                                                                                                      • One day I was really in the mood for a good cookie but I was hugging my hubby at the time I was telling him this. He took it as a euphemism so from then on (like a month ago) I like to text him 🍪🍪 🤣
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                                                                                                                                                        • Once my boyfriend airdropped me a meme that was like “can I have a crum of coochie” or some shit like that
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                                                                                                                                                          • My gf calls my dick “Hank” so she just asks to see Hank.
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                                                                                                                                                            • Wait... You're supposed to ask for sex?
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                                                                                                                                                              • I just say “I require protein” in an English accent and that usually works.
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                                                                                                                                                                • The first time I asked my wife for sex I said "Wanna get a pizza and fuck?" And she said "Do I really get the pizza?" So I brought a pizza over and we did it. Now everytime we have pizza we fuck.
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                                                                                                                                                                  • H E L I C O C K T E R
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                                                                                                                                                                      • I always say "you gunna lemme in them cheeks". And I dont have sex very much because of it
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                                                                                                                                                                        • Am I the only one that hates when people don’t type shit out? “SO?” Yea we know what it is but it’s 2019, wtf are these $1000 handheld keyboards for? It’s not 2005 god damn it
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                                                                                                                                                                          • My gf just looks at me pleadingly and we go to the bedroom. But afterwards a lot of times we just look each other in the eyes after we both finish and at the same time we say “wow” in our best Owen Wilson voice. That’s how I know I’m going to marry this girl. She’s my love and also my best friend.
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                                                                                                                                                                            • My girlfriend taps me on the shoulder and when I look over she taps between her legs. So glad to be with such an incredibly eloquent woman
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                                                                                                                                                                              • My parents would always say”we are going to go move the furniture” and hey they weren’t wrong and it was a good way to let me know I needed to get the fuck out of the house
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                                                                                                                                                                                • Basically what I do is go down to the local elementary school then find a gir-
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                                                                                                                                                                                  • My GF tells me she wants to have sexual intercourse and I ask if she gives full consent then she can ride.
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                                                                                                                                                                                    • My ex used to call it “lovins” made me super uncomfortable
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                                                                                                                                                                                      • I just shower and jump on the bed spread eagle and wait
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                                                                                                                                                                                        • Whoever says SO should bathe in nuclear fire
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                                                                                                                                                                                            • I wonder how it feels like having a girlfriend, just for a day
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                                                                                                                                                                                              • What kinda elk make “bloop” noises?
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                                                                                                                                                                                                • My girl ties her hair in a ponytail and gives me “the smile”
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                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Well my uncle really likes to surprise me
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                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Bloop Bloop for spare coochie
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                                                                                                                                                                                                      • I just start kissing my GF where I know she likes it. If she's horny then I'll be giving her head within a minute and fucking her within 10-15min. If she's not into it then she'll just shoo me off, which means try again in a bit. But a hard no means she'll let me know when. That's just how we work
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                                                                                                                                                                                                        • One time I threw my door open and said turn on those friers, cause I sure am hungry.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                          • I push my ass towards my bf and meow like a horny feral cat. "RrrrRRAAAAAAaaaiirrrrrrrrr!!"
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