we should be able to piss out of our
mouths. like throw up piss. cus
sometimes you're in a social setting
where it's more socially acceptable to
throw up than piss but you don't need
to throw up you need to piss. like
waiting for the train in a crowded
subway station
10:44 PM
Twitter for iPhone
Bearcats Bearcats
24 jun 2020
we should be able to piss out of our mouths. like throw up piss. cus sometimes you're in a social setting where it's more socially acceptable to throw up than piss but you don't need to throw up you need to piss. like waiting for the train in a crowded subway station 10:44 PM Twitter for iPhone
did you sleep well? me:
did you sleep well? me:
me pausing my music to see if my mum is really calling me or if it's just the song
Gilberto Gilberto
13 mar
me pausing my music to see if my mum is really calling me or if it's just the song
__swoop__ __swoop__
21 sep 2020
Found my husband sleeping with our foster kitty nursing his lip
My big toe after putting on a ripped sock:
TrenDerX472 TrenDerX472
13 mar
My big toe after putting on a ripped sock:
oh, you're a true "country music lover" who is this?
pudgle pudgle
4 dec 2020
oh, you're a true "country music lover" who is this?
When you're playing with a sniper and you need to aim on the head of the enemy from 900m distance
if
When you're playing with a sniper and you need to aim on the head of the enemy from 900m distance if
JUST IN:
Multiple actresses accuse Keanu Reeves of extremely appropriate behavior.
JUST IN: Multiple actresses accuse Keanu Reeves of extremely appropriate behavior.
Boss: Why are you late?
Me: Someone told me to go to hell. I couldn't find it
at first but I'm here now.
vistavie vistavie
15 apr
Boss: Why are you late? Me: Someone told me to go to hell. I couldn't find it at first but I'm here now.
I haven't been able to sleep since I saw this
idfcawyt idfcawyt
1 may
I haven't been able to sleep since I saw this
When yo you meat in and the middle someone of beating yo meat and someone opens the
door.
RamiroGarcia0 RamiroGarcia0
24 sep 2020
When yo you meat in and the middle someone of beating yo meat and someone opens the door.
Nobody:
The boys bathroom
Your hotdog match for my bratwurst
XKENZIEXx XKENZIEXx
17 mar
Nobody: The boys bathroom Your hotdog match for my bratwurst
Tupperware after you put spaghetti in it .
rabinator rabinator
4 dec 2020
Tupperware after you put spaghetti in it .
joemamama joemamama
15 sep 2020
y dog saw a squirrel when my back as turned...
Corn dogs. Follow me
for more recipes!
SS
Krackers Krackers
22 sep 2020
Corn dogs. Follow me for more recipes! SS
*me rereading my own tweet every time someone likes it*
noon_husband noon_husband
3 jan 2021
*me rereading my own tweet every time someone likes it*
Math teacher: Today we will study probabilities
The kid with the gambling issues:
The_Fortunate_Son The_Fortunate_Son
24 nov 2020
Math teacher: Today we will study probabilities The kid with the gambling issues:
Internet: Omg I cant believe Billie
Eilish let a spider into her mouth.
Mary Jane:
loser_ty13 loser_ty13
16 jun
Internet: Omg I cant believe Billie Eilish let a spider into her mouth. Mary Jane:
@CNN
Aman received a $75 check to restart his life after being wrongly imprisoned for 31 years
Stevenage
@pillxwx le
bro was locked up at Gamestop
DoomIsabelle DoomIsabelle
7 jan 2021
@CNN Aman received a $75 check to restart his life after being wrongly imprisoned for 31 years Stevenage @pillxwx le bro was locked up at Gamestop
When you go to sleep at and wake up at
ck
SS
When am I?
When you go to sleep at and wake up at ck SS When am I?