Wait, before we go in, do I look high?
Scarredfoxx Scarredfoxx
24 oct 2020
Wait, before we go in, do I look high?
She can't catch you cheating if you don't cheat
makailabrieanne makailabrieanne
2 dec 2020
She can't catch you cheating if you don't cheat
Be careful who you call in higschool
matt_the_whopper matt_the_whopper
25 jan 2021
Be careful who you call in higschool
Breaking News
LIVE Cat goes on rampage at birthday party, 19 injured, 2
I_loveyou I_loveyou
22 sep 2020
Breaking News LIVE Cat goes on rampage at birthday party, 19 injured, 2
When you find out he's not your son
When you find out he's not your son
when you're watching a marvel movie and
Stan Lee shows up
melkor106 melkor106
25 sep 2020
when you're watching a marvel movie and Stan Lee shows up
When you eat your entire inventory so you can get a tiny ounce of HP back in order to fight:
When you eat your entire inventory so you can get a tiny ounce of HP back in order to fight:
Ari LaBelja
Me making sure everyone on the couch is paying attention when I'm the one that picked the movie:
7-08 PM - Twitter for iPhone
Ari LaBelja Me making sure everyone on the couch is paying attention when I'm the one that picked the movie: 7-08 PM - Twitter for iPhone
Cop: seen anything unusual?
Me: a dolphin with a hat once
Cop: I mean around here
Me: nah they live in water
la
Cop: seen anything unusual? Me: a dolphin with a hat once Cop: I mean around here Me: nah they live in water la
I just learned today that Cardi B's real name is Belcalis Almanzar. I said that shit out loud and my furniture started floating.
Belcalis
Almanzar
Bacardi Bacardi
14 dec 2020
I just learned today that Cardi B's real name is Belcalis Almanzar. I said that shit out loud and my furniture started floating. Belcalis Almanzar
He: What that mouth do?
Her:
Argue)
He: What that mouth do? Her: Argue)
Me at 2 a.m. drunkenly entranced by the slow spinning of a Hot Pocket in the microwave
WolfenRedux WolfenRedux
11 sep 2020
Me at 2 a.m. drunkenly entranced by the slow spinning of a Hot Pocket in the microwave
Humans in 2020:
"The worst year to date."
Dogs in 2020:
"OH MY!
I can't believe my humans have chosen to stay with me, rather than going to work.
We snuggle, go for walks & get extra treats.
THIS IS THE BEST YEAR EVER!"
unicornfucker
21 sep 2020
Humans in 2020: "The worst year to date." Dogs in 2020: "OH MY! I can't believe my humans have chosen to stay with me, rather than going to work. We snuggle, go for walks & get extra treats. THIS IS THE BEST YEAR EVER!"
MAY HOLD YOU? -ONLY IF YOU'RE PATIENT
\ ENOUGH.
wawd
@wawawiwacomics wiwa
johnb520 johnb520
24 sep 2020
MAY HOLD YOU? -ONLY IF YOU'RE PATIENT \ ENOUGH. wawd @wawawiwacomics wiwa
HighlandBanjo HighlandBanjo
24 sep 2020
ON' HAT LIKE LooK' cone! AN
When you're working under your truck & hear the Harbor Freight jack start making weird noises
When you're working under your truck & hear the Harbor Freight jack start making weird noises
Someone will die.
SS
I Of fum.
Someone will die. SS I Of fum.
Doc and Marty made it to 2021.
Doc and Marty made it to 2021.
Bartender : This is from the guy at the end of the bar
The guy:
wildmagnolia wildmagnolia
10 nov 2020
Bartender : This is from the guy at the end of the bar The guy:
paranoid schizophrenic s found a pattern in the numbers
paranoid schizophrenic s found a pattern in the numbers
When COVID-19 is over and you can finally go finish the grade.
When COVID-19 is over and you can finally go finish the grade.