• Uniform Size Orange White
es Na Elongated Field Spot Field Spot
RYT Watery Full of Flavor Little to No Taste
Smaller Larger
"Webbing" "Webbing" Dark Dull Si
Bland Sweet Ripe Not Ripe
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  • 1072 comments

    • 🍉💥🖐 I just know
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    • Ive cut thousands and thousands of watermelons of all shapes, sizes, different colors and with different physical aspects. Some looked gorgeous and some looked like shit. So I know from experience that none of this shit matters. Just give the fucker a smack, if it sounds deep and hollow it's a win
      Kasziver 25 jun
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    • A good rule of thumb: Watermelons develop a splotch where they rest on the ground. When this splotch is creamy yellow, it's ripe. Give it a thump: Tap the underbelly of the watermelon. A ripe one will have a deep hollow sound, which means it is brimming with juice and at the peak of its ripeness
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    • Nah it’s the sound that tells you. When you slap it: low pitched is ripe, high pitched is unripe
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    • Use this same chart at the club when looking at females. Pass up on elongated, watery girls
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    • 865 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • gotta give it the good ole’ smackarooni
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    • Ok this is useful for watermelon, but what about campfires?
      Jimbus 26 jun
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    • My dad just slaps it, just like how he slaps my ass
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    • My dad slaps them amd knows
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    • So find the ugliest round melon because it's the inside that counts. Got it.
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    • Ok but how do I my campfire change colors?
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    • BlackLivesMatter thought you might like this
      SandersXL 25 jun
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    • Works for nips too
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    • "Wow! This is so useful!" I think before remembering I'm allergic to melons :(
      Decklin 25 jun
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    • Elongated watermelons are actually a different kind of melon. They are usually better all together.
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    • you gotta S L A P it
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    • Anyone eat a grainy watermelon
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    • But how do I change campfire colors
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    • What about a uniformly sized, dark and dull watermelon with an orange field spot and larger "webbing"?
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    • it's my birthday today oh nobody cares okay pepehands
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    • Just spank it’s a couple times
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    • As a half black person, I will be saving this for image for the next family cookout
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    • That's cool and all but how do I change the color of my fire
      Dipon 27 jun
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    • My Mexican mother slaps the shit out of it if it’s loud no good if all you hear is your slap it’s good
      La_Chula 26 jun
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    • 8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • What if its the middle 4
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    • I mean I just slap the shits lmao
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    • *Thwack*
      DoverBend 26 jun
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    • The uglier the better
      eewalktub 25 jun
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    • How to pick the perfect watermelon: pick whichever one, smash it against a wall, then get kiwis instead.
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    • Yeah but how do I change the color of my camp fire?
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    • Sweet and Ripe are extremely similar
      Blake_ 28 jun
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    • God my testicles have never looked so tasty
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    • This doesn’t even tell us which one is the best
      hilloi 28 jun
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    • You can put a blade of grass (straw) on it and it’ll turn parallel with the watermelon. That’s when you know it’s ready but if it doesn’t then it’s not ready.
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    • Or just knock on it
      CutieLuu 26 jun
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    • What does a shiny watermelon look like? I can’t imagine one being like... shinier than the rest and why it would be like that
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    • Did I black person post this so y’all white people can actually have a good melon for once
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    • Fun fact! The cops have been called on this whole comment section due to watermelon abuse!
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    • You gotta slap that bitch to know what's up
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    • Or just smack it
      HootToadz 26 jun
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    • Good thing I hate watermelon
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    • I’ve seen this post like 3 times now
      mela 26 jun
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    • I work at a watermelon portion of a upick and I pick, eat, and carry watermelons all day and I can confirm that most of these facts contradict each other so often that the best thing to do is to knock on the big ones and listen to the sound. Deep good, light bad.
      somenoone 25 jun
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    • I’m ready to be a dad now
      _Deadz_ 25 jun
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    • hey, how does one make a colored fire??
      CarpetDog 28 jun
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    • Why the fuck every watermelon I buy has no taste and it just watery
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    • Mexican mothers be slapping the shit outta the watermelons
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    • Now I can tell all my black friends
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    • The Ugliest Melon is the Best
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    • We slap the mfs and we find out
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    • Ok cool but how do I change the color of my campfire
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    • This last one I bought got a big ass crack in it the moment I set it down in the cart, that’s when you know this bitch is tastyyyyy
      ideafix6 26 jun
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    • Now everyone will buy their shitty melons because a misinformation campaign
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    • only inferiors would use a chart like this, chads just slap the watermelon and immediately know how good it is
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    • Anyone else just slap the watermelons for no reason and just because you wanted to?
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    • Thump
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    • M E L O N
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    • Just spank it you’ll know
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    • So all I gotta say is something that’ll get me cancelled by Skai Jackson
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    • Someone is going to say my dad just slaps it and knows
      Caboosee 25 jun
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    • Comment 666, hail Satan.
      SkullFunk 26 jun
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    • Just take a bite out of each until you find one you like
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    • Why the fuck did this get featured
      sydBete 25 jun
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    • Look at this stupid fuck who thinks he can beat me
      Boat_Man 25 jun
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    • XtraBacon 25 jun
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    • content not available more
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    • Watermelon is awful, y’all are a bunch of bitches
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    • Hi
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    • I’m not getting any melon with a field spot
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    • You mean "How to pick a perfect Water Malone"
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    • How many ppl gonna make the "mY dAd sLaPs iT aNd hE kNoWs" like they made that
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    • I usually just slap it until I hear a thunk
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    • Ok but why does my dad have to smack it tho what is the secret dads are withholding from us
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    • Thank you
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    • Bruh just flick a bitch
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    • Mexicans will just knock on it and if it’s hollow sounding then it’s good
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    • Just knock on it if it sounds holo it’s ripe
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    • My mom stares and just picks one and its always good. My dad gives it a good ol’ smack and he knows.
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    • Dark and dull, and uniform size and heavy are the same melon
      _Chief 28 jun
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    • You know it by the slap bruh
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    • If it sounds hollow when you knock on it it's a good melon. All of the rest of this doesn't really matter as much
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    • But why do we slap watermelons?
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    • *Slap*
      Samoson 28 jun
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    • That’s cool but how do I change the color of my camp fire
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    • dark and dull is also the name of the school thots boyfriend
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    • Just give it a little slappy slappy
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    • The Sacred Texts!!!!!
      NoahLite 28 jun
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    • Nigga pickles
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    • Gotta do the broom straw trick. You balance it ontop of the melon, and the faster the straw spins, the better the melon will be.
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    • Watery Musk
      Julmust 28 jun
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    • I Am Going To Fuck The Melon
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    • Shawty gotta be short and thicc with the beauty spots to match
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    • All of you joking about the slap aren’t very original
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    • Black folk are kicking themselves because they dont know how to read
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    • Field spot is correct...but the rest change on the type/strain of watermelons.
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    • One time I ate a yellow watermelon
      SPGxAesir 28 jun
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    • Thank you!
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