• ue, dumb questions so our
drill
sergeant made him
carry a potted plant
all day to replace the
oxygen he wasted
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    • I had a DS tell a pvt to “hit his face” meaning get down & do push up’s. This dumbass straight up punched himself in the face
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    • I had a rock named left in my pocket all of basic. I stepped forward with the wrong foot once, so I needed a best friend to help me.
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    • It's oxygen! I was the true.
      Chrisps 20 jan
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    • It’s true, I was the plant
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    • One of our guys tried to kick a pigeon while we were in formation, and the DI made him salute every pigeon he saw for the rest of the day
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    • Bold of you to assume a recruit understands cellular respiration
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    • One of my buddies in bootcamp spit on the ground and the DI made him pick it up and put it in his pocket
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    • I had to take a pregnancy test as a male because I did not put a period in my Initials
      Ry_cam11 21 jan
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    • It’s true! I was the plant
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    • We had a guy who ran everywhere even after being told to stop. Our drill instructor named him Seabiscuit.
      cave12man 20 jan
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    • When I was in basic they made this one trainee have a funeral for his weapon for loosing it. Like dig a grave and give a sermon and everything.
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    • “Y’all better face it, your little girlfriend or wife or shit maybe your boyfriend is getting dicked down by some other guy rn, hell I hope my wife is too so she’d stop annoying the shit outta me” - favorite DS
      A1_videos 21 jan
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    • My drill instructor fuckin threw a boot at me one time when I had laced my boots the wrong way, left over right people
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    • I hate these stories, because I know where these stories originally came from and these people clearly claimed it to be their own
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    • But did the drill sergeant charge him 38 cents??
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    • I member at basic, DS said to shave every hair on our face... One kid shaved his eyebrows & eyelashes lmfao
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    • I misread oxygen as foreskin
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    • My drill sergeants would do something like this and also sell their M&m's and Reese's for like $5. If you plan on joining, know that them yelling is LITERALLY half their job. But outside of it, if you stay after a training day to do details and stuff on the range, they're actually pretty chill.
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    • One dude in my class was a motherfucking HORNDOG. One morning when we woke up and got on line, he had a raging boner... Drill Instructor literally PUT HIS COVER ON IT like a hat rack
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    • Haha oxygen was i a dirt this happened butts clapped
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    • That's ranger battalion, and this hasn't happened in battalion..fuck yourself
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    • It’s true I was the Oxygen
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    • Can confirm, DIs will punish you in ways souly to get some comedy for themselves. You gotta remember they basically have to do bootcamp over an over an over again so they seek entertainment
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    • That’s great until he’s under fire and still has that question who’s answer coulda saved a life. There are no dumb questions, just poor instructors.
      Wardog1 20 jan
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    • I...I can see the guy at my work who just left for the Marines having to do something like that. He's one of my flock (as a mama dragon who will protect and care for them), but he's, uh... He's not the brightest crayon in the box.
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    • Had a guy sleeping under his bunk behind his row of boots. DS came in, smoked everyone cause we were being dumb and made a house out of q-tips, then realized there were only 5 of us and not 6. On his way out of the room, he punched the shit out of the sleeping guy's bunk...
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    • That’s really good holy fuck. That can be used in a lot of different situations for ppl who are a waste of oxygen. Just buy them a plant and ruin their who life with your savagery
      mattatatz 21 jan
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    • Its plant! I was the true
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    • Guy carved his name onto a tree. Drill sergeant made him walk around apologizing to the trees and give them a hug/kiss and say i love you baby sorry for hurting you
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    • Don’t want a drill sergeant all over your ass, Head down, trap shut, do as you’re told
      Hister001 22 jan
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    • I read battalion as foreskin
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    • You ever fuck up so badly you had to sweep the leaves?
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    • “There’s no such thing as a dumb question” Sgt: “Hold my potted plant”
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    • Marine boot camp. Had a dumb fuck change which church he went to and not tell our SDI. He got pissed. 8 hours of moving footlockers, then getting a break, which was going outside for some IT. Fucker made it though, he's a tough son of a bitch.
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    • and that guy, he was me. *record screech* Hi. You’re probably wondering how I got here.
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    • Could you then just ask for a second plant so youd actually be net positive? The initiative might impress him.
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    • The company next to mine had a rock that if a trainee fucked up bad enough had to carry the 30 pound rock every. Mr. Rocky was written on it
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    • Had a pvt who left his wall locker unsecured. So while we were doing PT, DS hides his campaign hat in there. Then he accuse us of ‘stealing’ it and proceeds to tear the barracks apart until he ‘found’ it in said privates locker. Seeing the color drain from his face was priceless. Best part is (1/2)
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    • This is such an overused punishment in boot I was tell my buddy that's a ds that he should come up with some more original shit
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    • There is no such thing as stupid questions. Just stupid people, with questions.
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    • I’d be one of those people who laugh when they fuck with other people and end up getting fucked with even more by them.
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    • Yes, this happens. Not exactly the same but in my company a guy was put on a profile for talking (profiles are injuries that state what you are incapable of doing) and he had to carry around fake paperwork that looked like a real one but stated he couldn't speak
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    • Can you actually get in trouble for asking questions?
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    • iFappy 20 jan
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    • The shit they make you do is wild lol. We had to keep a sock in our left cargo pocket because one person was late due to them not being able to put their socks on in time.
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    • So no give me the plant?
      Lesbians 21 jan
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    • DS, go to the rock pit and write serial numbers on the rocks and then throw it back and then go find the ones that was assigned to you ( to teach us how to be accountable )
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    • A senior di in my company was running us through the circuit course and I made the mistake of a requesting an “emergency head call” and had to sprint to the nearest pisser yelling “Wee woo wee woo”
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    • I actually plan on this I'm a dumbass in school so I've started growing spider plants (a very resilient plant) so when I join the Navy ill already have a plant to help me
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    • But that's a photo of a ranger, not a trainee
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    • That made me laugh
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    • It’s true, I was
      Emonkey76 20 jan
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    • Tho the one in the pic ain’t dumb. Tan beret
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    • I was! True oxygen it’s the
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    • We had this idiot from Mississippi in our compartment, legit could barely speak coherent English. Anyway, my DI was this 6’6 jacked Gunners Mate, and every morning he would yell “ Good morning! Where’s my retard?!”
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    • We had to salute and give the proper greeting of the day to all the tree frogs when we were on range for the whole 2 weeks because some idiot didn’t salute an officer the day before we left
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    • Bet you had your phone at boot camp 🙄
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    • in the military as a basic youngling, you know only two things: you know nothing, and you know everything you need to know
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    • All my drill sergeant did was make our souls hurt, he didn’t care for pt because we benefited from it
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    • Any advise for someone who is about to go to basic? Also I am female if that helps
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    • Jokes on him 'cause plants don't make any oxygen during the day
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    • I was never in the military but I did JROTC in high school (no I’m not equating they two) and one time this high up navy guy was inspecting our unit. He would check uniform measurements, ask questions etc. and he got to this one kid and he just asked why he joined the unit to which the kid (1/2)
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    • What’s the punishment for not listening to your sergeant?
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    • American moment
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    • Army cringe
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    • My section leader made one of our guys grab the section leaders pocket and follow him while holding his pocket like a child all day
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    • My homies sent me a my little pony birthday card that played music and the ds's made it an inspectable item.
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    • A lot of yall doubt these, but this one seems highly likely
      JRW17 21 jan
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    • 75th Ranger Batt 🤘
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    • I was told to carry around a rock that outranked me and I had to ask it questions first if it answered then I could ask my drill
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    • I would name the plant and treat it like my child
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    • It’s true I was the memo telling the us army that war in the Middle East was unwinnable
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    • PorkSword 20 jan
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    • it’s true i was the plant
      oklahomas 20 jan
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    • I heard this story before
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    • It’s true, I was the sergeant
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    • Its true I was the plant
      Existence 20 jan
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    • It's true, I was the cactus
      Bidon 20 jan
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    • Imagine being so fucking annoying you have to carry around a fucking house cactus or something
      Kosamada 20 jan
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    • This is the Way
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    • Boot camp wasn’t that bad, change my mind.
      Twaige 21 jan
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    • I did this to a mechanic that worked for me, kid straight out of high school was always going a million miles a minute.
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    • Why’s the background Rangers if this is a boot story?
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    • GodiKai 20 jan
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    • Well, its the Army so....
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    • ClericalFascism
      Stuff like this doesn’t happen in basic training
      ClericalFascism
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    • The plant would have replaced the oxygen regardless if it was carried around... Drill Sgts/instructors are retarded sometimes
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    • I wouldnt last in the military because I would tell him eat a dick and shove the plant up his ass
      Seann98 21 jan
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    • I mean they should all get a plant then since they’re the lowest on the iq totem pole
      BSzubs11 21 jan
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    • A potted plant you could carry is not enough to.. nvm I don’t care
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    • That sounds like something Drill Sergeant Ham would make us do.
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    • lol this is the EXACT content I come to iFunny for. 😐
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    • It’s true I was the civilian he ended
      ksns 20 jan
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    • trees are overated and plantons are underated. you cant change my mind.
      jessedeol 20 jan
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    • BOOMER MEME
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