• Today I walk into work and there are a ton of people in my building and it's kind
'of a mess and everyone is talking and
I sort of just blurt out:
Everyone stopped and looked at me as though I had 2 heads.
Then I realized.
I work at a 200.
EB sens
Update: my boss was talking about how he was really excited for an entire
week of vacation and was wondering what he should do, so I looked him dead
In the eye and told him, with a straight face,
"You should visit the local Zoo, I heard it's really nice."
Under pain of death I am no longer allowed to make any zoo related jokes.
Part three: I was cleaning the squirrel monkeys and one of them kept trying to
climb up me so I sort of just yelled
"WILL YOU STOP MONKEYING AROUND??"
I forgot my boss was in the next room and he walked and just glared at me
Please never stop doing the lord's work
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  • 247 comments

    • This man is the one I trust most to be a zookeeper, get him a promotion.
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    • This man got some lady pregnant and is a dad now. Someone needs to tell him
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    • Just got back from the Denver zoo, it was pretty great
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    • I enjoy everything except the way you keep pretending you say these things on accident
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    • TL;DR, this guy works at a zoo and will not stop making puns about it.
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    • Your boss wouldn't walk up to you and glare at you for saying a pun. He doesn't care and youre lying. Hand me those internet privileges
      79 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • If you’re gonna fake a story for likes on the internet, why not at least make it a funny story?
      Beight 21 jul
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    • sclom 21 jul
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    • None of these are funny
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    • My thing with puns is they have to be sort of slap stick. If you need more than 3 sentences to set up for a pun, it’s kind of underwhelming. Unless you make a 2 page essay with the biggest build up in the world, just for the punchline to be a pun.
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    • crazy how none of this happened
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    • When you're a dad but work at a zoo
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    • Why do people dislike puns
      OhOkOof 22 jul
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    • FINALLY, a good meme! This is the only reason I still haven't deleted this app
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    • The time for talk has passed. The Lord's work must be done.
      Tiphoid 21 jul
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    • 4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Lame
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    • Must've drove him bananas
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    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Then everyone clapped
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    • My boss had to remove a dead deer from the entrance of our parking lot once. He came in covered in blood, and without missing a beat I shouted “oh dear!” when I saw him. He just glared and went to wash basin to clean up. Proudest moment of my life
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    • Simmons from RVB :"its monkeying about!"
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    • Reminds me of Kramer saying “it’s like a sauna in here”
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    • Superiors never understand good humor
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    • I love smurflewis lets get this man a promotion
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    • Gake and fay
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    • I promise you this poster is probably who the picture of the Tumblr moment chick eating the burger was taken of
      OGJon 24 jul
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    • First two were funny but honestly I’d rather have the whole thing be shit than see something that’s featured for the fourth time this week
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    • “Under pain of death” you will die a Martyr
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    • My mother will not shop at Audi with me because I make Audi jokes I can. Almost convinced her to go in the Lidle store but she realized her Lidle mistake in the parking lot and insisted in remaining in the car.
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    • Your boss sucks. Those are the only kind of people I want running a zoo!
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    • This world needs more puns and play on words. Comedy that is based on wit and basic cleverness is always welcome to me.
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    • people on here really have a hard time distinguishing between cringe and lies with good jokes and true stories
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    • How can you call yourself a zoo person if you don’t do this
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    • I love this
      bitty625 21 jul
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    • How do you forget you work at a zoo?
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    • One of my cousins worked for the asheboro zoo, she invited me to look at behind the scenes, but died of cancer before we took that chance. I never got to see her much, but I beat myself up about it. What memories I do have of her were awesome. I miss her so much
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    • One time i was getting some lunch and after i sat down i saw someone walk by wearing a hoodie with my college's logo on it and i thought to myself "huh, that's my school, i wonder if he goes there." Took me a good 5 seconds to realize where i was. In the schools cafeteria. On the main campus
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    • I’m going to a college that people call the zoo and one of my friends dads said to me, “so you’re going to the zoo” I replied “yeah i had work today” I also work at a zoo
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    • What an animal!
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    • Dads everywhere are proud
      FactDrone 21 jul
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    • Why is the comment section a ghost town?
      Trwump 21 jul
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    • No please, stop.
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    • Whatever happened to free speech
      Jester 21 jul
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    • Play Tarkov and tell me this
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    • Where the fuck are the comments
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    • Zoos are evil
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    • It’s true I was the monkey
      Thillski 21 jul
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    • Peak unfunny
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    • You seriously expect me to read all that
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    • That's super funn
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    • This is so painfully unfunny
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    • dumbtown 21 jul
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    • Cringe
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    • Featured with only 7 comments? I must be early.
      AlmaZe 21 jul
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    • I dont wanna read all of that smh
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    • Don't monkey around, GET RIGHT WITH GOD
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    • 7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Press X to doubt
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    • All of this is fake
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    • It's like a sauna in here
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    • I was at my very first job interview (at McDonald's, I was 16) and I'm going through the application(it was open interviews, there was ten of us there) and I see the "no fraternization" policy, and I go " no fraternization? That might be a problem" The looks I got were ones of pure apathy
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    • damn i had to unlike because of Tumblr tard at the end
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    • This dude acts like these are super quirky and clever but they’re all just subpar jokes
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    • Nah own up to it. You know what youre doing
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    • Thos man is an animal. Absolutely wilding
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    • my great grandpa passed today :/
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    • All of my coworkers are Mexicans so none of them speak English and my job sucks anyway so it doesn't really bother me
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    • An accidental pun was the start of a legacy that will long outlast you at that zoo
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    • this is fucking hilarious
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    • My life got fucked up and now contracting with the AFROTC so I can finish college and move on is my best bet. Smh, going from cannabis to alcohol is gonna be an unfortunate transition 😭
      BigMorty9 23 jul
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    • That last one was not worthy of a glare, your boss needs a sense of humor
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    • Yo how many zoos are there in the world? If we really tried we can deadass find this guy.
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    • The keeper Harambe needed
      outcroud 22 jul
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    • I’m a zoo~~ ;)
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    • You're gonna get fired for puns
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    • That's adorable. Fuck your boss.
      Nik04 21 jul
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    • This should be a requirement for all zoo employees
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    • My Ex worked at the Chicago Zoo and sent me a video of her just meowing like: "meow, meow, meow" and then panned the camera over and this fuckin giant tiger gave a loud ass roar. Shit was insane.
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    • Steve Irwin would be so proud of him
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    • of course the ones that think it’s funny are the avatards
      Pinhaan 21 jul
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    • kyky44 21 jul
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    • Ngl I hate the people who see stuff like this and go "yeah, and everyone clapped". How boring is your life that nobody makes shitty puns or whatever
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    • What’s the boss gonna do. Fire him for making puns?
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    • His boss is a dick
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    • This man should be the boss
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    • PorkSword 21 jul
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    • neat, some jokes. time to act like we worship him, as a heightened way of performing approval
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    • BigBoy200 21 jul
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    • He's going to be his bosses reason for keeping a gun in his nightstand
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    • This zookeeper could've saved Harambe
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    • Last time I was at the zoo this lady was cleaning the squirrel monkey cage and a little one kept pulling her hair and running away, we stayed there for 30 min before she finished
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    • And then everyone clapped
      hudp 21 jul
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    • Why isn’t a koala a bear?
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