• To the person who left their dildo in the washing machine, you left your dildo in the washing machine 602 PM - 1/22/19 - Twitter for iPhone
    smile 49K
  • 257 comments

    • Bold of you to assume it was a mistake
      smile 2.1K 24
    • Sorry
      beach_cat159 a month
      smile 817 2
    • Dude, don't call her a washing machine
      WayOfTheRat a month
      smile 12 1
    • To the owner of the white ford focus, you left your lights on
      ThePotFather a month
      smile 12
    • The owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on *proceeds to play trumpet while simultaneously throating it*
      WoosyAssKilla a month
      smile 9
    • Whoever is the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on
      smile 8
    • HDKing a month
      smile 10 4
    • Plot twist: it was a home washing machine
      smile 7
    • Jaffacake9000 a month
      smile 7
    • That's disgusting. You should use your dishwasher.
      Pete_Ophelia a month
      smile 7
    • So uhhhh where’s the joke?
      Turns a month
      smile 6
    • Lmao when you get featured off you’re own content
      dark_beast a month
      smile 6
    • “The owner of the white sedan, you left you’re lights on” *trumpet noises*
      Ayeayecheff a month
      smile 6
    • I mean. It's safe to use now publicly.
      penorgiver a month
      smile 5
    • No, no. I’m still in here with it. Can you hit “spin cycle” again for emz
      scootchels a month
      smile 5 1
    • To the person who lost a roll of 100 dollar bills wrapped with a rubberband. We have found your rubberband.
      wijibo a month
      smile 5 2
    • To the owner of the white Sidan, you left your lights on
      VapeWhiskey21 a month
      smile 5
    • TeamLeaderMan a month
      smile 5
    • Whoever’s the owner of the white sedan with the lights on, you left your lights on.
      V_ortekz a month
      smile 5
    • dunder_milfin a month
      smile 5
    • Better than where I left it last time. Still walkin funny from that lil mishap.
      __Becky a month
      smile 5 3
    • One time found a massive pink dildo on the side of the road at work..fucking thing had some weight to it
      smile 4 2
    • Imagine if this was funny
      Maixen a month
      smile 4 1
    • libcan212 a month
      smile 4
    • Oof now I’m scared to go to the public laundromat now
      smile 4
    • Everyone knows you should put the dildo in the dishwasher not the washing machine
      psebat a month
      smile 5 2
    • I don’t get it... isn’t that where dildos belong? Inside of woman?
      smile 4 1
    • What’s with the sexual features?
      smile 5
    • This > healthy friendships
      smile 5 3
    • Bropez a month
      smile 4
    • Thats how you get a dildo the true way. You dont buy one, you find one.. or it finds you.
      ellieboo64920 a month
      smile 4
    • AbstractRobot a month
      smile 4
    • Fuck, I forgot. Thanks.
      smile 4
    • Oh shit is that where I left it? Thanks fam
      wh0regasm a month
      smile 3
    • time to stop featuring imagine
      smile 3
    • TsundereFTW a month
      smile 3
    • Once when I was doing laundry I pulled all the clothes out of the washer and a butt plug fell out onto the floor and I had no idea what I was meant to do, I knew for sure I didn't wanna touch it so I just threw a towel over it and pushed it behind the washer.
      Ammoconda a month
      smile 3 1
    • If you put it on top it’s a vibrator
      smile 3
    • Fag posting his own tweet lmfao
      Lore a month
      smile 4 1
    • Whoevers the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on.
      BroIy a month
      smile 3
    • imagine thinking posting forced shitty twitter comments is funny especially if its yourself posting it to look funny and random
      Wagen a month
      smile 3 4
    • Probably the least funny thing I've seen here. You are only given attention because you now have a face on this platform from spamming for a long time. Please be funnier or something, you're wasting our time
      Lickitung a month
      smile 5 2
    • That’s very strange. I usually wash all my sex toys by hand.
      truthnjustice a month
      smile 3 1
    • You gotta wash it with boiling water
      Luigimon a month
      smile 3
    • Honestly, as long as she still cleans and folds my clothes for me, I don’t care what she has stuck inside her.
      AnAngrySalad a month
      smile 3
    • smile 3 21
    • My bad
      HomieTheClown a month
      smile 4
    • xDarkKnighto a month
      smile 3
    • Who puts a dildo in the washing machine? You're supposed to put in the dishwasher. Smh
      smile 2
    • Yours now, enjoy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
      smile 2 1
    • Finder keepers loser can't get an orgasm
      BatDog342 a month
      smile 2
    • To the person who left their dildo in the washing machine, it's still wet
      smile 2
    • They had us in in the first half, not gonna lie
      whoandwhytf a month
      smile 2
    • whoever’s the owner of the white sedan
      Asstek a month
      smile 2 2
    • Not even close to funny
      SomeUglyFag a month
      smile 2 4
    • Yo take that shit. It's clean aparently
      smile 2
    • Who the fuck needs a washing machine to clean their dildo?
      smile 2 2
    • Directions- wash in thot water only.
      budthedog a month
      smile 2
    • Ever heard of cleaning it in the shower?
      swempley a month
      smile 2
    • Sounds like a fetish i never heard of before. Or a porno...
      smile 2
    • Sorry
      Cockatoo a month
      smile 2
    • Hey dude funny tweet thanks for sharing dude thanks for
      Cockatoo a month
      smile 2
    • Why so many sexual posts
      smile 2
    • If you have to put your dildo in a washing machine you have more problems than just forgetting it there...just sayin
      mbowman8 a month
      smile 2
    • Plot twist: he lives alone.
      BrosifBallin a month
      smile 2
    • HughGRection_ a month
      smile 3
    • Yo thanks imma go pick that up
      DontSub a month
      smile 2
    • I thought you were supposed to clean dildos in the dish washer.
      smile 2
    • When i put my dildo in the washing machine, i stick it to the centure so it spins when i ride it.
      Jarelli a month
      smile 2 2
    • Why am I hearing Patrick's voice while reading this
      hunthill98 a month
      smile 2 1
    • ifunny horny this morning
      smile 2
    • The superhero we need.
      Poisoning a month
      smile 2
    • My bad
      MemeingRick a month
      smile 2
    • take it
      smile 1
    • Who washes a dildo?
      smile 1 1
    • To the gentleman that left his fleshlitght core in the dishwashing machine: I'll give you a blowjob, but please stop that!
      dudulan 24d
      smile 1
    • Dildon’t ever do that.
      MrJack 25d
      smile 2
    • Thanks, good to know
      smile 1
    • Oh shit that's where i put it
      smile 1
    • Gotta rinse it clean after use
      smile 1
    • My dick fell off
      smile 1
    • Oops
      Bliss_ a month
      smile 1
    • fuck
      ArtiF0x a month
      smile 1
    • Patrick: Whoever is the owner of the lights at hand, you left your lights on!
      WiimanKeith a month
      smile 1
    • @imagine out here getting hella features. Claps*
      bWax967 a month
      smile 1
    • Free snack
      Mobi a month
      smile 1
    • i never thought i'd see the day where someone rapes a washing machine
      SadnRad a month
      smile 1
    • Mah bad.
      smile 1
    • *lives alone*
      smile 1
    • Uppity ass bitch. That's what the shower is for
      ZebraCakes a month
      smile 1
    • Short n sweet
      GOATRIDING101 a month
      smile 1
    • Shit yoi found it
      smile 1 1
    • Imagine
      wakafrippi a month
      smile 1
    • Bold of you to assume its a "dildo"
      smile 1
    • Free dildo.
      smile 1
    • Shit I left my dildo in the washing machine
      smile 1
    • Wow how funny and random xD
      KawaiiKabar a month
      smile 1
    • Sorry if they just trynna dick a washing machine
      A_Nut a month
      smile 1
    • I love these posts because they remind me of things I forget to do
      sypeg a month
      smile 1
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