To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at
Subway yesterday: I'm sorry I kept referring to Fred's liberally
mayo'd oven-roasted chicken sub as a "Bukkake Special". Im
sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why
he was laughing so hard. I'm extra sorry that this turn of events
led to you practically yelling "ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE
SPECIAL?" in the middle of a crowded restaurant.