'This Here Is Probably Our Bestselling Love
Seat,' Says Man Who Would Have Been
Powerful, Revered Warrior 4,000 Years Ago
+ SEE MORE: LOCAL
The man who would have spilled the innards of any rival warlord that did not prostrate himself at his feet confirmed that the love seat came with
two accent pillows.
BrysonTiller BrysonTiller
31 dec 2020
'This Here Is Probably Our Bestselling Love Seat,' Says Man Who Would Have Been Powerful, Revered Warrior 4,000 Years Ago + SEE MORE: LOCAL The man who would have spilled the innards of any rival warlord that did not prostrate himself at his feet confirmed that the love seat came with two accent pillows.
ME AFTER HAVING STRESS DREAMS AND NO SLEEP
YET,I'M TOLD BY THE HOT COWORKER'I LOOK GOOD TODAY
onslaught99
12 sep 2020
ME AFTER HAVING STRESS DREAMS AND NO SLEEP YET,I'M TOLD BY THE HOT COWORKER'I LOOK GOOD TODAY
Disney: We want to do a movie about a vegetable family.
Pixar: *develops Onion Mom*
DrPepper DrPepper
24 feb
Disney: We want to do a movie about a vegetable family. Pixar: *develops Onion Mom*
Construction guy: Have you seen my brick
Me:
Assyrian Assyrian
9 mar
Construction guy: Have you seen my brick Me:
Humans in 2020:
"The worst year to date."
Dogs in 2020:
"OH MY!
I can't believe my humans have chosen to stay with me, rather than going to work.
We snuggle, go for walks & get extra treats.
THIS IS THE BEST YEAR EVER!"
unicornfucker
21 sep 2020
Humans in 2020: "The worst year to date." Dogs in 2020: "OH MY! I can't believe my humans have chosen to stay with me, rather than going to work. We snuggle, go for walks & get extra treats. THIS IS THE BEST YEAR EVER!"
You've heard of "Elf on a Shelf". Now get ready for...
2Jayz
9 apr
You've heard of "Elf on a Shelf". Now get ready for...
"How many hoes you got?"
Me:
Intoxicating Intoxicating
26 feb
"How many hoes you got?" Me:
When you tried really hard at white elephant but they keep trying to get people to steal it.
Markmarkmark
13 dec 2020
When you tried really hard at white elephant but they keep trying to get people to steal it.
When you touch the smallest amount of anti seize:
Deanus_Satanus Deanus_Satanus
28 nov 2020
When you touch the smallest amount of anti seize:
"Oh you're going to join Verizon? Are you
Sharp Sharp
24 sep 2020
"Oh you're going to join Verizon? Are you
How it feels when I'm telling a story about something that happened in my 20's and
some grown ass person next to me says,
"Oh, that's the year I was born."
HalloweenIsLife HalloweenIsLife
23 sep 2020
How it feels when I'm telling a story about something that happened in my 20's and some grown ass person next to me says, "Oh, that's the year I was born."
Atheists when they realise they watched Godfather instead of
Sciencefather
sooperdood3 sooperdood3
22 jan 2021
Atheists when they realise they watched Godfather instead of Sciencefather
Women get a better night's sleep next to their dogs than their partners, according to a study published in the Journal of the International Society of
Anthrozoology.
1.4K Comments 466 Shares
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Dennis
I find this hard to believe, my wife can barely fit in the dogs kennel
leahx leahx
28 oct 2020
Women get a better night's sleep next to their dogs than their partners, according to a study published in the Journal of the International Society of Anthrozoology. 1.4K Comments 466 Shares Like Comment Share Dennis I find this hard to believe, my wife can barely fit in the dogs kennel
HAVE THREE OPENINGS
~ TKNOW
HAVE THREE OPENINGS ~ TKNOW
This is what Mr. Bean would look like if he was a character in 007 on
DICKCHEESE DICKCHEESE
22 jan 2021
This is what Mr. Bean would look like if he was a character in 007 on
"mans best friend".
..but a cat
will never tell the police where your drugs are.,
Dogs might be
LaughMask LaughMask
23 sep 2020
"mans best friend". ..but a cat will never tell the police where your drugs are., Dogs might be
Sasquatch sighting or hairy gal?
Sasquatch sighting or hairy gal?
The Cultured Ruffian
@CulturedRuffian
There's no such thing as a perfect name for a firefigh.....
Lieutenant Les Burney
Sun Prairie Fire
PM - 03 Feb 20 - Twitter for Android
AnimeandNightcore AnimeandNightcore
5 nov 2020
The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian There's no such thing as a perfect name for a firefigh..... Lieutenant Les Burney Sun Prairie Fire PM - 03 Feb 20 - Twitter for Android
DANGER
THE DOG HAS A GUN AND REFUSES TO TAKE HIS MEDICATION
USTEN
IR
DONT NEED MY EDS NEED TARGETS
TweeterWillard TweeterWillard
24 sep 2020
DANGER THE DOG HAS A GUN AND REFUSES TO TAKE HIS MEDICATION USTEN IR DONT NEED MY EDS NEED TARGETS