• There was a little girl in church, about 5, and her
parents obviously let her get dressed herself that
day because she came waddling in with the puffiest
coat on in the summer in North Carolina. She comes
and sits in the pew in front of us. 15 minutes into
mass she turns around and hands my husand an
orange. Her parents are mortified.
"Savannah not again!" They scold! (Again kills me)
They apologize and she turns back around. A few
moments later she goes to hand me an orange but
her parents grab it from her before she can.
Savannah is determined. She reaches her tiny fists,
into her puffy coat and pulls out two more ornages.
She begins to distribute them. Her parents are now
beat red and in shock. There is no stopping small
Savannah now.
This small child proceeds to laugh a laugh I can only
call maniacal (in a Catholic church) unzip the inner
line of her coat and releases what had to have been
20-30 of those little kid oranges into the pews.
WE EAT Savannah yells cackeling
The priest can no longer contain his glee
The entire church is dying with laughter
She felt like Jesus on the moutian with the baskets
of fish that day I'm sure.
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  • 700 comments

    • This is actually something a little kid would do. But I really want to know how the heck the parents buckled her in the car without find the oranges in her coat. Especially since she had a prior history of doing so.
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    • Its true, I was the small boy locked in the confession box
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    • Where the fuck would a child get that many oranges
      mh772 16 jan
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    • This reminds me of when someone opens a orange and everyone in class can smell it right away, we all collectively say in our heads "oranges"
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    • Tis true, i was the first orange
      Pharaoh 16 jan
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    • *laughing maniacally while unleashing an unholy mass of oranges from the eternal depths of her mysterious coat pockets* REJOICE PEASANTS! FOR TONIGHT WE DINE ON ORANGES!
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    • 492 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I very much liked the level of chaotic good wholesomeness
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    • This is true I was the orange
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    • I call BS, my daughter LOVES sneaking little toys to daycare and I always find it. You telling me you didnt notice 20+ oranges on your kid?
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    • You fool, that was jesus. In the absence of fish and bread she feeds the poor with the modern snack.
      Spectrei 16 jan
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    • People who say that posts have too many words remind me of that Fahrenheit 451 book
      Dyeorama 16 jan
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    • 20 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Children can either be angels or the spawns of Satan
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    • You know what, children can be dumb, I believe it
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    • Yo, Taco dealer here: look I’m not an expert on religion, but imma say this: Both sides have the good and the bad (atheists and religious peeps.) there are some atheist who are chill with people not believing in noting, and some who bash and shove what they believe onto others. Same with- (1/2)
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    • Tonight we feast
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    • Look, I really wanted to believe this story. I really did, but you lost all credibility when you said that the whole church was dying of laughter. Nobody believes a story when you end them with some form of “and everybody clapped”.
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    • I almost scrolled right past this. Glad I stopped and read it. Actually made me laugh out loud.
      FavoRizm 16 jan
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    • I’m calling horseshit. Several parts to this story are irrational.
      BattleBus 16 jan
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    • It’s true I was the pew
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    • "Little kid oranges"
      squancher 18 jan
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    • Hell yeah. NC Gang
      NC_Gang 16 jan
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    • My name IS Savannah and this IS something I would do😂
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    • This sounds plausible, not probable but plausible
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    • Just saying if the parents didn’t want that to happen they probably should’ve checked why she had a puffy giant coat in the summer if she has a track record of this
      Valflame 16 jan
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    • And then Jesus walked in and everybody clapped
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    • Eh I’ll buy it
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    • And then everyone clapped
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • But are you happy?
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    • this very well might be the fakest shit I’ve ever read
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    • Why would the parents be so mad
      dirtymoz2 16 jan
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    • It’s true I was the church
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    • PorkSword 16 jan
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    • beat red
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    • It’s true I was the church
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    • Lol
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    • I was a midnight Christmas mass and this little girl (3 or 4) runs up the alter where the priest is giving his homily, stops looks wide eye at the priest waves to everyone as the mother comes running up looking mortified. The priest than praises her for keep her child content for so long 1/2
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    • Beat red
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    • My record is 34 oranges in my pocket at once
      KingDrax 17 jan
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    • This is true I was the 23rd orange
      BLU_VENOM 16 jan
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    • Fuck. I think I did something like that once. Except I was in an IHOP, and for some reason I was drunk and, get this, instead of Oranges, it was my penis.
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    • Identify theft
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    • Tonight! We feast like Kings!
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    • It’s true, I was the priest
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    • I wish I was there... I could go for an orange bout now!
      195862 16 jan
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    • Quit lying
      dandjman 16 jan
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    • Is it me or are we getting essays instead of memes?
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    • This is true. I was the The
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    • Like this is you came to the comments before reading it.
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    • It's true, I was the oranges.
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    • Read?
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    • 1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Wholesome post :)
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    • content not available more
      Foundry 16 jan
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    • Jesus hates oranges
      fatty2x4 16 jan
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    • Good thing it’s a girl so the priest probably didn’t r*pe her
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    • Anyone else sick of these text posts
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    • Y'all believe this post no questions asked, but not the last one? Seriously?
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    • Nice crop shitlor
      Ominaorus 16 jan
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    • Anyone else stop reading these long ones after about 5 words?
      BLK_HART 17 jan
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    • Hugeeee x doubt
      sloth4726 16 jan
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    • Tldr
      NULL_ZER0 16 jan
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    • Soooo no tc? Okay
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    • tdawggy 16 jan
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    • Bruh shut the fuck up, female Catholic children don't exist. And all the boys that do get molested.
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    • fartingbabes
      Didn’t read too much words
      fartingbabes 16 jan
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    • Even if it is fake, it's still a funny thought to enjoy
      Storm67 20 jan
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    • I wish the little girl said " LET US FEAST!" instead.
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    • Ornages
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    • God bless
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    • WE EAT LADS
      Macood 19 jan
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    • I like it, this post is funny and harmless
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    • Again lmao
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    • Why tf are her parents upset about her handing out oranges
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    • I’m the 690th comment!
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    • Hahaha, please continue your career in fiction. It suits people who like to bullshit stuff
      muchdead1 19 jan
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    • This is obviously fake since parents dont wake up early on weekends let alone take their kids to church
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    • And then everyone clapped
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    • What's wrong with the parents?
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    • Opening the coat reminds me of “The Horribly Slow murder with the incredibly inefficient weapon” where he opens the coat full of spoons
      Shrekk 19 jan
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    • Yo I’m from NC and this is exactly the kind of things kids do
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    • Ornange
      _Squigga_ 18 jan
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    • I work at a church nursery and kids and fruit can be comical. these kids put raspberries on their fingers and called them “fingerberries”
      80HD 18 jan
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    • Children's souls are beautiful!
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    • Ornages
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    • I need this to be verified as true 😆
      RainyLynn 18 jan
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    • that child is gonna go up to be an anarchist
      Memergy 18 jan
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    • Its BEET RED!
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    • this would be such a good post if it actually happened
      Yesnt 18 jan
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    • This is amazing
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    • ornages
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    • False crotch goblin didn’t happen
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    • Is this true? Yes but it was most likely just really really exaggerated
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    • It is true, I was the airline pilot that flew a plane over head
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    • Tldr
      razr21 18 jan
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    • Lol I'd be happy and gladly take an orange. Church can be long I'd use to get so hungry especially if there was no time for breakfast cuz I woke up late.
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    • Cringe
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