• There is a lizard sex satellite floating in
space and Russia no longer has it under
control
At this very moment, a Russian satellite full of geckos (possibly) having
is floating around in space and mission control has lost the ability
to control it.
In a million years when we get invaded by lizard men you can blame it on
Russia
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  • 528 comments

    • True! The Foton M4 research satellite launched with 5 geckos on board to observe mating activities in zero gravity. Other creature, including plants and insects, were also placed on board. While no longer responding to commands, the satellite is still transmitting data to Earth.
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    • The zuck float fuck truck
      sharkgang 18 jun
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    • If they procreate, they're technically making aliens.
      CeeJay_ 18 jun
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    • I hope the Russians saved 15% or more on satellite insurance.
      willgnyc 18 jun
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    • Them and their god damn car insurance
      penty 18 jun
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    • Wont they starve and die?
      wowth 18 jun
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    • So lizards had sex in space before humans?
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    • I’m pretty sure they will run out of food at some point
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    • Looks like it’s time for me to intervene
      Berm 18 jun
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    • It’s alright they got insurance for 15% off
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    • Mark Zuckerberg origin story
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    • Now think about this.... if they make more lizards and food runs out they eat each other, they keep fucking and eating each other, they drink their piss and the antigravity stretches their bodies over years and this keeps going, just how long till we have a lizard alien invasion
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    • I got sick of waiting for lizard people so I fucked a lizard myself
      blakpanda 19 jun
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    • If I was a gecko in space, you can bet your mother’s life that I’d be fucking nonstop
      y01nk 18 jun
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    • Oxygen? Water? Food? One of those should probably have run out by now. Wasn't this posted years ago?
      Sensino 20 jun
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    • OK but what are they eating
      Kasagure 19 jun
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    • And that's why we have Facebook
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    • So thats where Zuckerberg came from
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    • Man made aliens. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
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    • When I read “lizard sex satellite” I really thought it’s sole purpose was to hypnotize lizards into fucking.
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    • We already have, one landed back on earth and became Mark Zuckerberg
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    • This happened along time ago
      EchoStarz 18 jun
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    • In a million years, the dust from our civilization will be gone.
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    • 90% sure this is from months ago and they made it back home safe
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    • More than likely, it will be trump's fault
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    • Mark Zuckerberg wants to know it’s location
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    • poor guys
      Cyanic 18 jun
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    • Food?
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    • Careful you're gonna get the scalies horny
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    • That’s how lizard people started
      i8b4 20 jun
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    • Lol
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    • I thought it was a satellite designed to watch lizards have sex
      aSouLess 18 jun
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    • Wow no ones up this late, or should I say early. Bitch sleep is for the weak.
      NotTurtle 18 jun
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    • I mean. There’s no possible way that they’re still alive.
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    • What else am I gonna jack off to now?
      Kibly 18 jun
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    • What if we kissed in the lizard orgy satellite 😳
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    • No, this is the planned September Disaster
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    • So this would basically be a self sustaining ecosystem being that they’ll probably resort to cannibalism.
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    • Um...ok
      CocoPufz 18 jun
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    • Guess I got some asses to destroy
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    • Are they listening to snake jazz?
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    • Now they'll all just die
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    • Cant wait for some scalie Lussy
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    • Relevant
      CoQ10 20 jun
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    • Sleestac.
      Dannyleo 19 jun
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    • That’s not my fucking problem.
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    • Cant wait to see this shit in a million years
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    • Poor little guys :(
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    • July 2020
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    • Jibrils
      content not available more
      Jibrils 18 jun
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    • Argonians
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    • It's gonna be some terraformars shit
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    • Imagine it goes to place where time moves a lot faster and they evolve to humanoids but here it’s only like 5 years.
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    • They died
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    • Zorgons
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    • Let's be honest we would've blamed Russia either way
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    • Old ass news
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    • Well it is OK China has already fucked us apparently.
      Mortoli 21 jun
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    • Spaces geckos? *stellaris players start to sweat*
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    • They’ll eventually die out, their food and water will not be infinite.
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    • It’s always russia
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    • Terra formars lizard edition
      Roctane_ 20 jun
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    • July. WRITE THAT DOWN. WRITE THAT DOWN
      Knitler69 20 jun
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    • Why did they need to specify the fact that the lizards are banging
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    • They'll die without food
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    • This is 2015
      Mastab8er 20 jun
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    • Oh no, they list control of their US Politician generator. What a shame
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    • 100gecs
      R4DSK1LLZ 20 jun
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    • Won’t they just run out of food start eating each other then die ?
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    • It’s funny how you think we don’t exist
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    • And they’ll become the ancestors of the Sangheili race
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    • There's some good news and some bad news, bad news it we lost control of the lizard satellite and will be suspending that test indefinitely. The good news is we have a new test for you, fighting an army of lizard men. Pickup a rifle and follow the red line, you'll know when the test starts.
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    • What have they been eating
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    • Dammit not again Russia did you not learn from the last time you sent a pet to space
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    • What do you mean a million years it's happening right now
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    • jesse286 20 jun
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    • Lizard kings like John Morrison said...
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    • This was years ago. Like 2013 or earlier if I remember
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    • Where’d the oxygen come from?
      readel 20 jun
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    • The lizards from Zathura
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    • But WHY were they there. Whos to say they werent trying to make lizard people👀
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    • That long in space after decades of evolution they'll be crushed by gravity before they can cause any real threats tf
      DefGraT3r 20 jun
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    • Shit
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    • #weGotThoseGekos
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    • Snake jazz
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    • When getting my first car, progressive wanted to charge me $2300 every six months. I switched to Geico and they charged me $600. My parents added their car to my policy, and now I pay $490 every six months for insurance. Switch to Geico.
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    • "In a million years" like it didnt happen already and they run our planet
      DrMario 20 jun
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    • That fucking article's headline got better and better with every word
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    • If we even pass 2020 to get to the lizard men in a million years
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    • Time goes slower in space so probably not bitch
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    • I mean. If oxygen runs out they all just die. If it renters earth at a bad angle they die. If they run out of food they die. They run out of water they die. I’m wondering just how sustainable the environment is
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    • The Argonians should NOT come back during 2020 I swear to god-
      Ashset 19 jun
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    • Canibalistic lizard men
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    • All according to the great plan
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    • The one thing I wanna do more than anything else ever is fuck in space I could die happy
      grimm1746 19 jun
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    • Bold of you to assume we will still be around a million years from now to invade. My money's on self-destruction.
      erma4nerd 19 jun
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    • I will absolutly be around 1million years from now to blame that on whatever name they are calling their country at that time
      JimDude 19 jun
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