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    • Theres a whole bunch of these good natured Jesus jokes, and some people say we shouldnt joke about the guy, but I feel like he'd laugh and appreciate them
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    • I like the gaffigan joke of, it never mentions if he was a good carpenter. Like "yeah he healed the blind, but the cabinet he built last week for me was eeeeh."
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    • The Bible doesn't talk a lot of Jesus' personal life and focused mainly on important lessons and parables along with teachings to his disciples and friends. John talks about this in his book even saying that Jesus performed so many miracles that there wouldn't be a book to fill the records of them.
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    • In earlier translations his job was more of a general laborer than a carpenter, but when translated to Greek it became Carpenter because many Greeks stigmatized that work
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    • People forget that man was ripped enough to flip a stone table when he found out that people are selling shit in a church.
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    • I went to a Christian school for 12 years and one of my professors said that the idea of a carpenter back in jesus's time, specifically in the region of Judea, was more of a stone Mason. He carved stones for furniture or even for building blocks.
      JRK35 10 aug
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    • If Jesus came back do you think he'd be a carpenter again or spice things up? Maybe a wildlife specialist.
      DatTop 10 aug
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    • Jesus was not only son of God but also a god with the chisel
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    • I wish Jesus could make me a solid oak armoire for my foyer.
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    • It should be ok to joke about Jesus or other religious leaders as long as we don’t insult or blaspheme them
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    • I'm not religious but this is funny
      _Tractor_ 10 aug
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    • Luke never knew Christ while he was on earth he converted and went full detective and wrote his gospel based on other people’s experiences
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    • I mean, he didn't start preaching til he was 30, he had to make money somehow
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    • All I'm saying is if he had to chop his own trees down to make stuff he had to have been super jacked. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime.
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    • Honestly, I think that Jesus was more of a stone mason. Because his father was called essentially a "house builder" in Hebrew which was turned into carpenter. And since everywhere was mostly desert, I'd imagine that houses were more stone and dirt rather than wood.
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    • In the book "The Shack" Jesus is represented by a Hebrew carpenter. It's a pretty good book. I like it as much as the God's not Dead film.
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    • So did Jesus call Joseph dad? Or was he like “good morning mom! Morning joe”?
      theringer 10 aug
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    • Do you think baby jesus ever shit his pants?
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    • My son is literally named Luke
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    • I’m not a religious person, but I gotta be honest the stories about Jesus are nice to read
      IonKanun 11 aug
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    • IS THERE A CHRISTIAN SIDE OF TUMBLR?! CUZ I'M HERE FOR IT
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    • Luke, i am your father
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    • SirMori 10 aug
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    • People will be fanatical no matter what. With lack of religion nowadays people are still fanatical but this time without a moral code backing it. The democratic party is becoming religion for some nowadays. Promising all sorts goodies, with nothing but faith in the party backing these claims.
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    • “You know if you could cure our son’s blindness that’d be great, also we’d like some shelves up here. They’re a bit of a priority we’d like them by Tuesday. Oh also the blindness but mainly those shelves please”
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    • God tier warranty
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    • I’m surprised there’s not that much hate rn
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    • If anyone is curious about Jesus or has questions, I’m starting a church in Columbus and we would love to walk with you. Reach out if you’d like.
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    • Ok but stick bug tho
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    • I wonder if Jesus would actually laugh at this joke. I think he would.
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    • Mmmmm lost my faith tbh...after a series of back to back to back deaths I went through...I just don’t know man but I know that when ever I get there. Where ever that is I hope I have lived a good life
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    • I think about him having weird habits. Like he just HAD to have eggs and pickles for breakfast or something.
      Moofus 10 aug
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    • No one talks about how he hung out with hookers
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    • I wish I was good at what I want to do.
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    • There’s like seven comments what the fuck
      kips44964 10 aug
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    • A barren wasteland, a hollow shell
      HK_47 10 aug
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    • I asked my colleague what he thought of it.. turns out he’s a dead-serious 100% Christian... stuck with that for the last hour
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    • I constantly wonder if Jesus had girls flocking to him in his teenage years, since technically He’s the perfect man
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    • Uhhhh artifacts in Vatican’s super duper secret archive prove that Jesus existed, though it’s highly unlikely that he was just as the Bible said, and they also got some reeeeal FUCKED up shit in there, as well, like, just THINK of all the shit we DONT know! It’s incredible!!!
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    • Yo Bible 2
      VoreMan 10 aug
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    • Carpentry was actually a very well-paying job of those days. Joseph and Mary were on their way to pay taxes when Jesus was born.
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    • Jesus was human therefor he had sexual desires
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    • You're telling me a dude could turn water into wine and wasn't using it to get laid?
      Demonikus 10 aug
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    • I could see Big J doing something like that.
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    • That's the bloke that built my gazibo!
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    • The last line was unexpected and funny.
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    • Fact: Since Jesus was a carpenter, he can legally give you wood ;)
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    • Phexal 10 aug
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    • Fuck
      442200 10 aug
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    • RIP Jesus, fool got wrecked lmao
      logan5885 13 aug
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    • Eh i don’t feel like reading this
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    • Must be nice to have infinite power and be able to force everyone to worship you
      dandjman 10 aug
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    • Jesus ministry only lasted about three years. Then He offered the best warranty of all time!
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    • I never thought I'd see so many Christian comments on iFunny of all places
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    • Ok christian
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    • Well it's actually a bad translation, he wasn't a carpenter, in fact their we're not many carpenters in Israel on account of wood being very expensive for use.
      Kuro22 10 aug
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    • Given that jesus is purely fictional, anyone can make up anything about his day job. Just like Harry Potter really.
      BobTodd74 10 aug
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    • Jesus is as fictional as Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
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    • Mary was more than a friend
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    • One thing I never got is, did Mary chest on Joseph with god or what happened? I thought cheating is biblically bad?
      Yalloyin 10 aug
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    • Friendly reminder that there is not a single historical text written while Jesus was alive that claimed he was divine. They were all written decades after he died
      Cacaonut 10 aug
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    • God is dead -The crucible
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    • Jesus died lol
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    • Jesus never met Luke
      heelyx 13 aug
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    • Pretth sure Mary wasn't his friend lol
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    • I feel like JC would have a great sense of humor
      Cazial 12 aug
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    • THE BOOK OF JOB HAS ACTUALLY BEEN PRONOUNCED JOB THIS ENTIRE TIME WE WERE RIGHT
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    • Fun fact: think about the region that the stories of Jesus took place in...not a lot of trees...he was actually a mason
      Jtal30 12 aug
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    • Jesus was a tekton. More akin to a house builder and large scale carpenter, not a furniture maker
      80HDAaron 12 aug
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    • What was Jesus last name?
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    • Imagine Jesus but with modern woodworking equipment
      Langley 12 aug
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    • “His friend mary” would imply he’s so holy he friendzoned his own mother
      Zaanne 12 aug
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    • “His friend Mary” would imply he’s so holy he friendzoned his own mother
      Zaanne 12 aug
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    • I really like the Chosen series because it shows Jesus had a life and was like us but perfect
      Bdogbm07 12 aug
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    • Jesus was actually a stone mason
      ii1155 11 aug
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    • Fictional characters can be whatever the author wants them to be.
      MrDavz 11 aug
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    • Nice
      bryan235 11 aug
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    • Jesus didn’t carry around carpentry tool during his ministry. It wouldn’t make sense for people to ask him to do carpentry work. And anyone that believed in him enough to receive a miracle wouldn’t ask for something as trivial as repair work. (Yes, I understand the post is just a joke.)
      NinjaBug 11 aug
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    • Jesus isn't real. The Bible is a book of fictional stories
      T_C2023 11 aug
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    • If Jesus lived today most of you would call him a fucking libtard...
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    • .
      lil_marti 11 aug
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    • Btw, the word we translate as carpenter is argued to be better translated as "stone mason" or "stone worker"
      jeo181294 11 aug
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    • I love the Mary part cause she was a prostitute and wondering what made the table wobbly brightens my day
      Prodigy_0 11 aug
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    • What if Jesus was just a really good magician? Walk on water, turn water into wine, disappearing dad trick...etc
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    • He probably stopped his carpentry when he started his ministry like how Peter and Andrew gavs up fishing. Paul though stayed a tent maker
      Raredream 11 aug
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    • Jesus said that if you live by the sword you die by the sword, that’s why he was nailed to a cross, he was a carpenter.
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    • But seriously are there any stories expanding upon Jesus’ occupation as a carpenter?
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    • Gotta fund his travels somehow I guess lol
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    • What do you guys think he was up to for the 18 years between his tantrum at the temple and the beginning of his ministry?
      bp42 11 aug
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    • Jesus was more likely a stone mason considering the geography he was located at the time.
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    • So really it’s hard telling what he actually did since the translation of carpenter from the older languages just meant someone who works with his hands so it could’ve been carpentry as we know it today or he could’ve been a potter or a stone mason or tailor or a handful of other things who knows
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    • What i really want to know is how juicy was jesus's ass
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    • HeavyTrooper thought you would like this
      Westeros 10 aug
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    • Yeah I did that
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    • Jesus stopped working as a carpenter when he began his ministry
      DatPiGuy 10 aug
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    • He was beyond wealthy, because kings and queen sought His work for furniture. He then gave all His money to the poor of Roman, and the Israelites hated Hime for it.
      INvbaei 10 aug
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