The robber in my house watching me dead sprint at him naked with a tomahawk.
OrangeCokeGang OrangeCokeGang
6 apr
The robber in my house watching me dead sprint at him naked with a tomahawk.
He's hiding the indoor swings and I'M the child?
Why does he have so many collars? Secret dogs.
camsuar98 camsuar98
23 sep 2020
He's hiding the indoor swings and I'M the child? Why does he have so many collars? Secret dogs.
I just wanted to take some cute pics in my new bathing suit. And here comes my dad... stealing my spotlight
Useeeeernaaaame Useeeeernaaaame
10 sep 2020
I just wanted to take some cute pics in my new bathing suit. And here comes my dad... stealing my spotlight
Me about to say "happy 25th birthday" to the attractive, 45-year old recent divorce in the office
OsamaBinHarden OsamaBinHarden
30 dec 2020
Me about to say "happy 25th birthday" to the attractive, 45-year old recent divorce in the office
thats right... buy all of cumcoin and dump all my fartbucks into booba
ShitPostGod ShitPostGod
11 may
thats right... buy all of cumcoin and dump all my fartbucks into booba
officially_Angry_Jesus officially_Angry_Jesus
23 sep 2020
VM NOT MAD THAT MY SON IS FAT
"can u be serious for 1 second"
me:
QueenAndromeda QueenAndromeda
4 nov 2020
"can u be serious for 1 second" me:
Brian Blickenstaff
My wife got this thing for our ridiculously spoiled cat and now when we're cooking the cat throws temper tantrums and the only way to make her stop is to break out the cat bag and let her ride in it.
AM 25 Sep 20 - TweetDeck
PsiloDragon PsiloDragon
28 sep 2020
Brian Blickenstaff My wife got this thing for our ridiculously spoiled cat and now when we're cooking the cat throws temper tantrums and the only way to make her stop is to break out the cat bag and let her ride in it. AM 25 Sep 20 - TweetDeck
Fuck this ankle bracelet. If my parole officer is
watching, fuck you too.
Scotty Kilmer 217K views 3 months ago
studerish studerish
22 jun
Fuck this ankle bracelet. If my parole officer is watching, fuck you too. Scotty Kilmer 217K views 3 months ago
when your teacher asks why your laptop is shaking during the meeting
SORRY, I WAS JERKING IT"
Sandy_Boii Sandy_Boii
19 oct 2020
when your teacher asks why your laptop is shaking during the meeting SORRY, I WAS JERKING IT"
Me: touches a body part that hurts
My brain:
do it again.
ShaneTrowell
17 feb
Me: touches a body part that hurts My brain: do it again.
When you're browsing the dark web and see yourself on sale for $500
ff
Wolflover64 Wolflover64
16 jun
When you're browsing the dark web and see yourself on sale for $500 ff
james
there's no way my cat knows his actual name. i've given him like 10 new nicknames today alone. i just called him my sweet bowl of cheese and he was like ya iam
DrPepperOffical DrPepperOffical
20 sep 2020
james there's no way my cat knows his actual name. i've given him like 10 new nicknames today alone. i just called him my sweet bowl of cheese and he was like ya iam
The guest pastor whilst he's being introduced:
Hangagud Hangagud
18 may
The guest pastor whilst he's being introduced:
squidward in every
spongebob episode when walking out of the krusty krab:
Fuck you and I'll see you tomorrow!
IC3TacoBell IC3TacoBell
24 sep 2020
squidward in every spongebob episode when walking out of the krusty krab: Fuck you and I'll see you tomorrow!
knew a guy who sold weed in high school & college. One time he made pot brownies to sell. In the process, he discovered a love for baking. Dude's a
pastry chef now, wears cute aprons.
SS
was not expecting that.
vile vile
1 oct 2020
knew a guy who sold weed in high school & college. One time he made pot brownies to sell. In the process, he discovered a love for baking. Dude's a pastry chef now, wears cute aprons. SS was not expecting that.
chyrsoprases
I hope you like host clubs, cat.
LIVIAy LIVIAy
21 sep 2020
chyrsoprases I hope you like host clubs, cat.
Batman
Approves!
NZ
Batman Approves! NZ
me explaining to my future wife
SS
that we need fast internet:
do not want my son to have to go through what I went through.
Disapparate Disapparate
8 oct 2020
me explaining to my future wife SS that we need fast internet: do not want my son to have to go through what I went through.