• the person at the deli kept asking me
how thick i want my meat sliced so ¡
said medium and they said they need
a number so i panicked and said 5 and
inow have an inch thick slab of
bologna and anxiety
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  • 499 comments

    • Or you could always ask them to clarify. I feel bad for people not confident enough to ask questions
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    • The chart is on the fucking counter man
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    • Imagine being at a deli and someone asks for a medium slice of meat so you give them one 5 inches thick
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    • I would have said 865 so I could finally see the end of the bologna tube.
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    • I like my sandwich meat "so thin it only has one side"
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    • Am I the only one that reads bologna as "bow log nah" just because it's funnier?
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    • Why are you buying bologna when you could be buying djungleskog?
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    • 258 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Just ask you fuckin band kid
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    • Bruh, what a fucking retard, I hear medium, I put the slicer on 2 and show it to them and ask them if it's good or they want it thinner or thicker, putting a customer on the spot and going "I NeEd a NUmBer" is a good way to get complaints. 9/10 they take the incorrectly cut meat with them anyway.
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    • You haven't been working the deli very long if you don't understand what a medium slice means. Not that it matters since I'm 100% positive the story was completely made up for the "I'm so quirky cuz my anxiety" joke. Can we stop celebrating mental illness? It's getting gay af
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    • If the deli worker couldn't understand what medium means they're retarded and just wanted to ruin that person's day.
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    • Bologna= pig lips and assholes
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    • None of that minced Oscar Meyer shit. Real Lebanon bologna is where it’s at.
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    • That’s an easy fix just make the rest of the sandwich bigger
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    • bologna? ew. bet you were about to eat it with mustard you sick fuck
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    • Thick meat
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    • Grow some balls. Its not that hard to talk to people you fucking anti social mongo.
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    • Grow up and learn to ask questions and made decisions you fuckin child
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    • 4 feet please.
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    • Almost shaved deli meats hit different
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    • slap it in the oven like a meatloaf
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    • LordMontgomeryShaw The dinner cut
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    • MOMMYZEN
      content not available more
      MOMMYZEN
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    • Why get deli balogna? Is it that much better than Oscar Meyer?
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    • Say sandwich thick
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    • Haha nice but relax my guys take life by the balls and slow things down. Be polite and communicate when you’re not sure about things or uncomfortable in a situtation, the results can surprise you.
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    • The features are kind of wacko rn
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    • Bo log na
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    • How do you get from 5 to one inch?
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    • retard
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    • Swear most of you anxiety ridden nerds would join Isis if they pressured you hard enough
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    • Send tits please I’m lonely
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    • "I have anxiety" you worthless lot didn't get beat enough when you were kids that's obvious
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    • Its okay bro... My mom ordered 8 one time at walmart. Nothing bologna for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner! 😂
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    • U get murder on ifunny for anything
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    • If youre not sure you can ask them to do a slice on a number. If they wont fuck em and find a new deli
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    • The size on a slicer is generally measured in millimeters. The smaller the number, the thinner the slice. Shaved is generally 1mm, medium sliced is about 2 to 3, and thick sliced is about 4 to 5. Its wierd it's not specified like that.
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    • “As thicc as you bb”
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    • They usually have a sign that shows you what number means what
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    • Always stick with 2
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    • I have never been asked to give a number. Is that really a thing? Maybe it's just not a thing where I'm from
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    • Depends on the slicer, but most of the time a 12 or 13 would be an inch, not 5. 5 would just be a thick slice
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    • UNITS ARE IMPORTANT
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    • Always ask for help. A human will help their fellow man when they struggle. If you laugh when someone asks for help then I hope you receive the same. Golden Rule.
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    • Or you could ask like an adult and learn something
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    • Bolokna
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    • I work at Gordon food service and I slice meet all the time. A 5 on our machine is probably like a quarter of an inch. But i always show the customer what it looks like before I continue
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    • You fry that shit son
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    • With our slicers I have a general idea of what numbers are thick and thin. So with this I give you my numbers... 0.5 is pretty thin if you like almost paper thin meat. 1 or 1.5 is a generally regular slice. 2 or 2.5 is thicker. ALWAYS ask to see the first slice! Other slicers may be different!
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    • Bologna 🤮
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    • That’s funny, the 5 setting should only be 5 millimeters thick, which is a little thicker than a typical piece of sandwich meat. I know this because I slice meat at a deli.
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    • Thiccccc with 5 c's
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    • I’ve worked in a deli and nobody asks a customer to give them a number setting for the thickness on the cutter. Either creative writing, or the cutter is a twat
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    • Shut the fuck up, please, im begging you
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    • As someone who works in a deli, you don’t ask the customer for a number because they are all dumb as shit, you just show them the first slice and ask if they want it thinner or thicker
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    • They know there was no medium so they kept the joke going
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    • He said he fucking wanted medium. Tf do you want him to do? Have them print off a fucking essay on deli numbers. It’s their job to know that shit, not his
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    • Bro no. The deli person wants to act like she doesn’t cut meat all day and doesn’t understand what medium is. She made the person feel dumb af. She knew exactly what they were talking about.
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    • Ba-log-na
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    • I’ve found that “sandwich” width is a size. No two places are they the same thickness when you say it, but it’s an answer that stops the deathly stare awaiting a response.
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    • People who cant ask simple questions are weak willed and wont make it in life.
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    • Any thickness of meat is fine... Except shredded... Doing that fucks up my shoulder. If you want your meat that thing you can go to hell. Eat damn grass or something you fucking animal...
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    • I just say sliced thin
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    • As someone who worked in a deli, when they ask you how you want it, medium is ok to say because they are supposed to slice and than show you it and ask of its ok or if you need it thinner or thicker. It also helps if you show the thickness you want with your fingers.
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    • I work in a deli and our slicers only go up to 32 (of course you can overlap to get bigger cuts) but our 5 would be “sandwich slice” not inches thick. But of course different delis have different slicers so who knows.
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    • You can ask then to cut it again. If your not sure what number think sandwich size, they all know what that means and then you can say a little bigger or small than sandwich size
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    • Sandwich slices to shaved, shaved if it’s turkey or chicken, sandwich for salami or ham
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    • A polite way to ask them to repeat is "Im sorry?" And when they repeat and you need clarification you can say "im not familiar with that, what does that mean" and they can explain. Just be nice, theyre people too
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    • Imagine gettinf anxious over a fucking sandwich
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    • The "Average" slice of Ekrich Bologna is a 2.5-3. Thin is a 1.5-2. Thick is 3.5-4.
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    • 5 is about a centimeter actually
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    • There's numbers at a deli?
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    • Having worked a deli before. 5 is one think boi
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    • Why would five be an inch? Usually deli slicers are millimeters. 5-6 would be bacon slices. 3 would be how deep I sliced my fingertip off on one of those
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    • Literally they all have a fucking sign or sticker that shows how thick each number is. People are just fucking stupid.
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    • They don’t need a number, bologna! (It’s cool, I work at a Publix Deli)
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    • False. Try quarter inch
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    • they should have known what they meant when they said medium.
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    • Meat slicers are in millimeters
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    • Oh my god James your so god damn quirky. What a goof-ball lmao. Geez Louise I laughed so hard.
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    • The slab of bologna waits
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    • That’s your regular?
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    • For anyone curious 1-2 good for appetizers, 3-4 for sandwiches, 5-7 for salad/cubed meat for recipes
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    • What do the numbers even mean. I always just say 1
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    • My deli is the opposite because all the slivers have different settings for the numbers
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    • Ask to see a five you don't have to buy what they cut
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    • Ugh god FUCKING DAMN IT I HATE THESE POSTS. Grow some fucking gonads and be a goddamned adult who cares if you look stupid
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    • Imagine being so mentally frail you panic when someone asks you what size you want something sliced
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    • Why are people so fucking afraid of a totally normal social interaction? Doesn't last that long.
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    • How does one have such poor self confidence?
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    • Fry that bish
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    • How thick is a [number] 🤏 about this big
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    • Most deli’s I’ve ever been to usually show you a piece to confirm your thickness.
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