• The Chivalrous Cat
was a lone knight on the battlefield, the enemy had won the war was lost and I was given useless mercy. The enemy had spared me, told me to spread word of their victory, and robbed the dead bodies spread upon the battlefield. They were barbarians, called themselves by the name of... Mongols was it? don't know anymore, the memories are kinda fading together, I feel im shrinking, shriveling, growing hair... no fur, in the end could only fit into my helmet. I fell asleep within it, hoping this was all just a dream, that God hadn't betrayed us, the army of god. FUCK, all this because that damned pope had to scream,
'BECAUSE GOD WILLS IT' and started this war. I was a general, I had a position within the army that most could never hope to stand against, the tactics to vanquish enemies with the least casualties. Those things had failed me and my men, and now lay on the desolate plain, hiding from the rain, crying in pain. I cursed God but even moreso cursed myself, my foolish incompetent self. In my dreams remembered my life, how I rose to general through hard work and won multitudes of victories for our Holy Roman Empire, how refused love and pleasure for the sake of God and he payed me back with betrayal. Now small and stout took the form of a small beast, perhaps a beast... no, I'm too small for even a child of a beast unless newborn. I saw no beast around me after scanning the surroundings, so I must be some sort of domestic animal. I walked trying to get used to my new form and legs, looked around again and saw a woman dressed in a black robe, she looked quite young and beautiful. She came upon me and pet me and in return growled and scratched her, the woman said unto me, 'thy form changed but thy feisty nature stayed the same, no need to fear me for I
    • EmailPinterestRedditTumblr Report
    • Copy link
    • Pinterest

iFunny plug-in will teach your phone to smile

get on the iFunny app to roast them

All content related issues will be solved right here.
After all necessary information is provided, of course:

Complete the form below to notify iFunny of a claim relating to your intellectual property rights and content or some technical inconvenience with the service.
(Positive and productive feedback is appreciated as well).

Your details

Your relationships to the rights holder

Type of claim

Copyright Trademark Nazi-related Offensive Technical difficulties Other
Describe the issue in detail. Please be specific.
Feeling poetic today? Feel free to provide more information
By clicking on "Submit" below, you are certifying the following statements:
  • I state that I have a good faith belief that use of the work(s) in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
  • I state that the information in this notification is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that I am the owner of the exclusive right that is allegedly infringed, or an authorized agent for the owner.
  • I give my permission to pass my contact information to the alleged infringing party.

Privacy notice

For a list of the categories of personal information that we collect from you and how we use that information, please review iFunny’s privacy policy