That face you make when you added raisins to the potato salad to cool off the spice of the mayo
Gilberto Gilberto
19 mar
That face you make when you added raisins to the potato salad to cool off the spice of the mayo
when we met my boyfriend "just wasn't
@wordmixrr
a cat person."
we're out of wet food & he's currently cooking fish so "the boys can still have a good dinner" as though they're loyal patrons of a restaurant he cannot disappoint & not two mini hellpanthers that poop in a box & yell at us
Tumblr_and_Tattoos Tumblr_and_Tattoos
26 sep 2020
when we met my boyfriend "just wasn't @wordmixrr a cat person." we're out of wet food & he's currently cooking fish so "the boys can still have a good dinner" as though they're loyal patrons of a restaurant he cannot disappoint & not two mini hellpanthers that poop in a box & yell at us
When your co-workers keep quiting but you're in it for the long haul
keep telling everybody that they should move on.
Some do, but not us.
jemd3
10 mar
When your co-workers keep quiting but you're in it for the long haul keep telling everybody that they should move on. Some do, but not us.
My poor French teacher today was talking about the word "cell phone" and how in
German the word for cell phone translates to handy..... which led to
Professor: Isn't that so cute!? The word handy is just adorable. Like why don't we say that in
English.
One brave Student: .....because it's slang for a handjob
Professor: *visibly looses five years off his life* why are you Americans like this.
My poor French teacher today was talking about the word "cell phone" and how in German the word for cell phone translates to handy..... which led to Professor: Isn't that so cute!? The word handy is just adorable. Like why don't we say that in English. One brave Student: .....because it's slang for a handjob Professor: *visibly looses five years off his life* why are you Americans like this.
YOU'RE EITHER
A SMART FELLER OR A FART SMELLER
GreatestRacist GreatestRacist
10 apr
YOU'RE EITHER A SMART FELLER OR A FART SMELLER
lie,
feio
NA
IN
EN
PorkSword PorkSword
29 sep 2020
lie, feio NA IN EN
thesoulo thesoulo
27 sep 2020
© Based on: puppyearth
Nhen you're in the water and something something touches your leg
My girl asleep at cuz she's gotta work at 11 the next day
Me at midnight knowing I gotta get up at Sam for work
Zaynoz Zaynoz
26 sep 2020
My girl asleep at cuz she's gotta work at 11 the next day Me at midnight knowing I gotta get up at Sam for work
About to watch some Netflix
About to watch some Netflix
gilet paper was' so last year.
bags with gasoline now.
gilet paper was' so last year. bags with gasoline now.
This is really
ENE
heavy!!
Yesss! Now I
need one more
hing...
This is your life now. Chained at my feet like DOG!
OhYeahLordGalvatron OhYeahLordGalvatron
24 sep 2020
This is really ENE heavy!! Yesss! Now I need one more hing... This is your life now. Chained at my feet like DOG!
TheBlueline TheBlueline
23 sep 2020
ef TikTok Console Virgin
coochielations
By @yoonogy
everyone please look at my girlfriend's
Cat...he just stands
HajimeIchinose HajimeIchinose
25 sep 2020
coochielations By @yoonogy everyone please look at my girlfriend's Cat...he just stands
POV: your friends are looking at you after the teacher told the class to get into groups of 3:
CupheadFacts CupheadFacts
12 mar
POV: your friends are looking at you after the teacher told the class to get into groups of 3:
She can explore my Chamber of
Secrets anytime!
thorny_stolen_panda thorny_stolen_panda
27 jan 2021
She can explore my Chamber of Secrets anytime!
all cats are good but i especially enjoy black cats who just look like vaguely cat-shaped blobs of darkness
thatdrifter thatdrifter
25 sep 2020
all cats are good but i especially enjoy black cats who just look like vaguely cat-shaped blobs of darkness
Marry a short gal and keep your guns on the top shelf
She still might get ya, but you'll hear her dragging the chair across the floor
Marry a short gal and keep your guns on the top shelf She still might get ya, but you'll hear her dragging the chair across the floor
Costco food courts have sold the hot dog and soda combo for without changing its price since 1985 when it was first introduced.
When the company president complained about losing money, CEO Jim Sinegal famously said,
"If you raise the [price of the] effing hot dog, I will kill you."
Heroes_vamp Heroes_vamp
29 sep 2020
Costco food courts have sold the hot dog and soda combo for without changing its price since 1985 when it was first introduced. When the company president complained about losing money, CEO Jim Sinegal famously said, "If you raise the [price of the] effing hot dog, I will kill you."
This is Ted. He went on his first boat ride today. Hopes you like his giraffe vest. He picked it out himself.
mrgreenbin mrgreenbin
16 mar
This is Ted. He went on his first boat ride today. Hopes you like his giraffe vest. He picked it out himself.
When your future grandkids start complaining about their day and you hit them with another 2020 story
When your future grandkids start complaining about their day and you hit them with another 2020 story