Teacher: "is that your little brother? he's cute what's his name?"
Me who realized i forgot to lock the basement:
banannanannaforreal banannanannaforreal
24 sep 2020
Teacher: "is that your little brother? he's cute what's his name?" Me who realized i forgot to lock the basement:
booksididnt
My resume pales in comparison.
ALAN MOORE
Writer / Wizard / Mall Santa / Rasputin Impersonator
News
booksididnt My resume pales in comparison. ALAN MOORE Writer / Wizard / Mall Santa / Rasputin Impersonator News
Me trying to put my The next change and receipt person in line in my pock
fetusprime666 fetusprime666
3 nov 2020
Me trying to put my The next change and receipt person in line in my pock
Me: "We're leaving in 5 minutes, are you dressed?"
My toddler:
Phil_Latio Phil_Latio
20 jan 2021
Me: "We're leaving in 5 minutes, are you dressed?" My toddler:
/pcmasterrace
@1 Bi @3 @1
Posted by i.redd.it
My sister has been saving for a PC for over a year, but 2020 sucks. She had
to put her cat down, lost her job due to covid, had to burn though her PC savings in the last few months. Her birthday is next week, I decided to try and make this year a little better for her.
GIGABYTE
Share
on that
1200AM 1200AM
21 sep 2020
/pcmasterrace @1 Bi @3 @1 Posted by i.redd.it My sister has been saving for a PC for over a year, but 2020 sucks. She had to put her cat down, lost her job due to covid, had to burn though her PC savings in the last few months. Her birthday is next week, I decided to try and make this year a little better for her. GIGABYTE Share on that
A little boy asks his dad; "What's be mom's legs?"
tween mom's legs?"
The father answers," Paradise."
The kid asks again, "Whats between your legs?" The father replies, "The key to paradise."
Then, the son says, "Piece of advice dad, change the lock. The neighbor has a copy."
total_insertrave total_insertrave
17 jun
A little boy asks his dad; "What's be mom's legs?" tween mom's legs?" The father answers," Paradise." The kid asks again, "Whats between your legs?" The father replies, "The key to paradise." Then, the son says, "Piece of advice dad, change the lock. The neighbor has a copy."
TIL Costco's hot dog has remained $1.50 since it was first introduced in 1984. After the company president complained they were losing money on it, CEO Jim Sinegal
put his foot down. "If you raise [the price of] the effing hot dog, will kill you,"
Sinegal said.
TIL Costco's hot dog has remained $1.50 since it was first introduced in 1984. After the company president complained they were losing money on it, CEO Jim Sinegal put his foot down. "If you raise [the price of] the effing hot dog, will kill you," Sinegal said.
When she ask you what
your finger game is like.
SirLongflop SirLongflop
17 jul 2020
When she ask you what your finger game is like.
Bro went from the "The weekend" to the "The month"
Quarantine really did this dude in
La_Chula La_Chula
3 oct 2020
Bro went from the "The weekend" to the "The month" Quarantine really did this dude in
There's someone for everyone and the person for you is a psychiatrist!
There's someone for everyone and the person for you is a psychiatrist!
When she likes watching you eat her
wifey87 wifey87
6 apr
When she likes watching you eat her
Why is everyone staring at my food?
delightedGaming delightedGaming
6 jan 2021
Why is everyone staring at my food?
My resume pales in comparison.
ALAN MOORE
Writer / Wizard / Mall Santa / Rasputin Impersonator
News
marinara_pastasauce marinara_pastasauce
17 mar
My resume pales in comparison. ALAN MOORE Writer / Wizard / Mall Santa / Rasputin Impersonator News
Me: *accidentally makes eye contact with the crackhead outside of 7-11*
The crackhead:
of
YOur soul is mine.
ASS
BarrettFan101 BarrettFan101
15 dec 2020
Me: *accidentally makes eye contact with the crackhead outside of 7-11* The crackhead: of YOur soul is mine. ASS
When you accidentally step on your dog's tail
Xanloveless Xanloveless
22 sep 2020
When you accidentally step on your dog's tail
INS THE GARHER, ISN'THE?
No. What if were to say io you
"Meesa beena bad Girl'?
HunterForHire HunterForHire
27 sep 2020
INS THE GARHER, ISN'THE? No. What if were to say io you "Meesa beena bad Girl'?
Someone please feed the poor kid
okay_a_stolen_porch okay_a_stolen_porch
10 nov 2020
Someone please feed the poor kid
facebook informed me that 8 years ago today my mom made me take a photo with our waiter who I thought was hot at the cheesecake factory
ScrumDiggitty ScrumDiggitty
18 nov 2020
facebook informed me that 8 years ago today my mom made me take a photo with our waiter who I thought was hot at the cheesecake factory
Stay Back to the Futmse mashups by Thinty
UrkelBot UrkelBot
1 may
Stay Back to the Futmse mashups by Thinty
The would be the,
they would
Motherilekers.ps
okiejarhead71 okiejarhead71
13 mar
The would be the, they would Motherilekers.ps