• = since we're having a baby in a couple
months, the discord is discussing
parenting life hacks
a, Chirasul
"h give your baby a dollar immediately after birth before they receive their
social security number. when they receive their SS, they're value is reset
automatically to O. now
take back that dollar. baby now
has a negative
value; the social security buffer cant handle a negative number so it
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    • If you cover your child in oil and throw them out in the rain they’ll float up to heaven
      3.5K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • As soon as they're able to walk, teach your child to bhop
      Schlatt 9 jul
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    • Make sure to name your child “null” so that when anything he does is put in a government database, the database shrugs it off as not existing, so he can commit any crime to have a better life and have no repercussions
      Skurd 9 jul
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    • Sorry, but life version 2.02 patched this exploit.
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    • It works, trust me. I have over 2 billion in my bank account now.
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    • it’s true, trust me. my parents did this for me and i now have a lamborghini and live up in the hollywood hills with seven bookshelves full of knowledge
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    • Tell them to pick up the ball in their crib and stand on it, jumping out of the crib and walking out the door that hasn’t loaded yet, quitting out as they fall through the map, and if they rejoin they will be a normal looking human but two feet tall
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    • Put your kid on your credit card account and make sure you pay your card on time then when they are older they'll have great credit. My mom did it for my younger brother.
      Alpha_Zed 10 jul
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    • The baby's physics are buggy, so if you shake it they'll get a record speedrun on life
      976 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Remember to teach your baby to jump backwards instead of walk forwards, when they learn to do it correctly they will be able to fly through the air.
      897 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • If you begin a half an a press now the kid should build enough speed to go 8PUs over and up warp to the credits.
      Foxire 9 jul
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    • If you go backwards in the vagina instead of forwards you’ll clip through the womb wall and skip right to puberty
      Hol_up 10 jul
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    • Interesting comments we have today.
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    • I would like to know how legit this is
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    • Another exploit is right before the baby comes out, push it back in, it should move a bit before the game detects what is being attempted and will stop it. Pause, save, and reload and then push it slightly more. Do this until the baby is back inside. The baby hasn’t been born yet but the simulation
      poorkoi 10 jul
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    • FakeSatan 10 jul
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    • Make your baby spend its life playing ball, let it have a passion for it. Then wait for him to go pro and make you millions.
      445 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Name him don’t. Then you can be like don’t sit, don’t come, don’t rollover, and everyone will think he’s disrespectful. And if an intruder comes in release him from his cage and say don’t attack to give the intruder a false sense of safety.
      rdoz 10 jul
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    • That's actually a concept in hacking. I forgot what it's called but it's how they withdraw shit tons of money from banks
      LewdiBoi 10 jul
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    • Would be 4,294,967,295. The number you posted is the max of a signed 32 bit int, and if it's signed then it would be able to go negative.
      axman10 10 jul
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    • Never name your kid your name. I have seen so many kids with their lives ruined because they share the same name as their relative and that other relative’s shit credit and criminal record shows up under the kids SSN. A 18 yo kid once had 100k in back child support on his credit report.
      EvolAngel 10 jul
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    • It works because I was once that integer. Broke now - too much coke & too many hookers.
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    • Damn baby starting with max cash stack? I had to earn that shit at the duel arena
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    • I'm going to go test this, be right back gotta go make a baby
      GavinG13 11 jul
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    • Wait isnt the 32 bit integer 4,294,967,296
      82 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • JBUG0617 10 jul
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    • After tying this out the baby actually had $4,294,967,295 because it was an unsigned 32 bit int
      too_c00L 11 jul
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    • What if the baby is going for a speed run? Are there any life hacks to make it faster
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    • Put chloroform on a rag and place over child’s nose whenever you want some peace and quiet
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    • If you take Plan B and birth control at the same time the baby will become what is known as Schrodingers glitch helping him skip taxes in later levels
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    • Go to DC on January 20th and wallclip through the boundary into the restricted area, from there take the oath of office and you should have a world record for the “president of the United States” category
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    • FALSE. You're using an unsigned integers that can't handle negative values. Unless you're on a 16-bit system from 1984, you should have a 32-bit unsigned integer that cycles to 4,294,967,295. Git gud or git rekt in comments.
      MlemFox 12 jul
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    • Is that a runescape reference or do do most systems max out at 2.147b?
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    • Genius
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    • God, nobody on this app should be allowed to procreate
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Runescape max cash.
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    • It would actually be twice that +1 dollar, because that number is the highest SIGNED integer (-2.14 billion to 2.14 billion)
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    • Sign your Baby to a Modeling Agency... it's never too early for the little bastard to start pulling it's weight!
      zerosober 10 jul
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    • Wait that’s the osrs max cash stack
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I did this is in runescape lol
      Approxy 11 jul
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    • Baby proof loong before your baby is mobile. Set up a specific spot, with snacks, a drink and something to keep you awake while breastfeeding. Wear your baby. Buy a small bouncy chair and a clear shower curtain, so you can actually shower every day while still watching baby.
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    • Wat
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    • A negative value assigned to an unsigned integer simply loses its negative sign, so while it doesn't work like op suggests you could give your child a thousand dollars and take it away leaving them at -1000 which would then equate to 1000 to their name, effectively doubling your money
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    • That is wrong. -1 dollar would flip to $4,294,967,295 instead. Learn your binary math discord nerds
      FLeone 10 jul
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    • Place turd in VCR
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    • Whats the difference between a ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I dont have a ferrari in my garage
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • This man thinks he knows binary but binary has negative numbers too.
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Would be negative if it’s 1111111111111111.
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    • If you don’t have an alarm, get an alarm. When I was a baby/toddler I escaped my crib, climbed over the baby gate, and watched my dad lock the door. I then knew how to unlock the door, and I set up some stools for myself and then unlocked the door and I was off. Lmao my parents saw the whole thing
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    • Max cash stack baby
      Uberdaf 10 jul
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    • Why is that number the highest 32 but integer? Seems kinda arbitrary if you ask me
      Nado 9 jul
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    • Life any% speedrun
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    • but can it run doom?
      piss_ 10 jul
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    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Remember to teach your baby how to do an Accelerated b-hop to move faster
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    • Is this true?
      m3m3ster 9 jul
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    • Ny favourite fact about that number is it's also the maximum ammount of gold pieces you can have in runescape
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    • Why people so dumb
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    • Any Asian gay guys?
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    • >D*cord
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    • Damn it’s obvious most of you don’t have kids
      zulukutz 13 jul
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    • Hold up
      NiceCube 13 jul
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    • Pro tip, if you're teaching you kid gun safety, the best way to know if your gun is loaded is to look right down the barrel and try to find a bullet.
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    • How do you give the baby a dollar then take it away?
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    • Teach your kid to trust CHRIST
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    • I read something about putting your newborn on your credit card to build their credit so they will have perfect credit when they turn 18, not sure how valid that is
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    • If you own guns teach them gun safety as soon as they can comprehend it to prevent accidents in the future
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    • Parenting speed run: Abortion
      Feak 12 jul
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    • I feel like thats been patched when they expanded the debt system
      Kooc14 12 jul
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    • Me trying to remember wtf an integer is
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    • Thats stupid
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    • Does that actually work?... asking for a friend
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    • Name your baby "'; Drop Database table"
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    • Why does that number look like max cash in runescape?
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    • IFunny is the biggest lie ever. Fuck this app
      Emmy1531 12 jul
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    • SwiggoV2 12 jul
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    • Cheat codes IRL
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    • press up down up down left right left right b a start on your baby and you can insert a few cheat codes into his life
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    • Except the government has no problem allowing you to have a negative value
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    • If you don’t have a kid, your kid will never be born
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    • That's not real
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    • Lawyers of Ifunny, is this legal?
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    • Fact checker please
      Dolemite 12 jul
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    • I'm quite confused
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    • “Boudreaux baby butt paste” is the best baby butt rash paste on the market. Some babies are born with not fully developed tear ducts and have a yellow gooey crust that forms on the tear duct. You message from the center of there brow down to the side of babies nose to open up the tear duct.
      MrsHorror 12 jul
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    • O
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    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Who tryna have a child rn? Split the money 50/50
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    • 2147m if you know you know
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    • Is this true?????
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    • I doubt it but just for my curiosity, is this true
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    • If your having twins, As soon as the baby’s born cut off its finger, that way you’ll know which child is which
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    • Remember kids, if you up up down down left right left right B A start, it's gonna spawn you in the backrooms.
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    • Maybe don’t let your kid get a social security number when they’re born if you can help it. They’re the number one victims of identity theft.
      lunited 12 jul
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    • InfoChecker this true?
      Gussi 12 jul
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    • Step 2: have it live off of essential oils so you dont have to live with it and claim the money over the death.
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    • They patched this recently, now your child will be in debt and goes straight to jail.
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    • Is that the max cash GP for OSRS
      Skyblu__ 12 jul
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    • Wayfair be like: free kidnapped child when you buy one of our $14,000 cabinets
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    • Still wouldn't work tho
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