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    • No we’re just on the lookout for those damned mimics
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    • Once bumped into a mannequin and said, sorry. I then said oh my bad I thought you were a person. Then i realized it was still talking to a mannequin
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    • We aren't in the 41st millennium yet. We are still in charge. Have to show those machine spirits who's boss.
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    • “Oh come on give me all you got you pussy!” I shout at my vibrator not vibrating at maximum strength
      TheUrk 10 apr
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    • “Fuck you!” I holler at the smoke alarm running out of batteries.
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    • Did you try appeasing the Machine Spirit??
      wryilla 11 apr
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    • I’ve seen the Brave Little Toaster, I’m not fuckin around
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    • All of these. Daily.
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    • Gidgetz 10 apr
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    • Wifi: Connected. Me: then fucking act like it
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    • it's the machine spirit yo, case closed
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    • Humans will pack bond with a fucking salad I swear
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    • Of course machines have a machine spirit! Any Adeptus Mechanics could tell you that. Omnissiah, which art in this machine, Hallowed be thy name!
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    • Me yelling “fuck you” at my jacket, as it falls off my chair again
      _Yen 13 apr
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    • So nobody beats the shit out of the couch they stub their toe on? Unbelieveable..im the only one??
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    • They do have spirits - machine spirits - praise the Omnissiah
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    • Its the machine spirit
      Timmy7575 11 apr
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    • “Stop being such a pussy” I say to my PS4 after I barely put in a game and it sounds like a jet engine taking off
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    • Only the first 3, the rest are dumb. I say fuck you to a table I bump into
      Lem0nz_ 11 apr
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    • I'm the dude that upon hearing a possible ghost will say "fuck off" but when I actually see supernaturally shit i'm outta there
      Isogod 11 apr
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    • I used to punch the dresser to punish it for stubbing my toe
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    • I can relate to some of these but "Don't take that tone with me" is stupid and has never happened
      oosernam 10 apr
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    • "Goodnight." I say to the ominous black figure standing in the corner of my room when i head to sleep.
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    • Sometimes it just like *thing falls for the ♾th time Me: Fuck you too then
      Fezsalsa 10 apr
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    • "Fuck you for falling"when l keep dropping stuff xD
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    • Machine spirits, gotta say the rights and bless them before they work
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    • We must honor the machine spirits
      NerdyArt 10 apr
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    • When I bump into a table I say fuck you to it
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    • Resistentialism is a jocular theory that describes seemingly spiteful behavior manifested by inanimate objects.
      Copha 10 apr
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    • "Fuck you, bitch!" I yell at bad drivers who don't seem to understand right-of-way, even though they can't hear me.
      Bad_Wulph 10 apr
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    • I usually yell "bitch" to things that won't work, and they quickly start working again
      pills_ 10 apr
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    • I always gain uncontrollable empathy seeing a machine be used not to it’s purpose or being destroyed almost like it’s a living person even though I still believe it isn’t
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    • I bumped into my lamp once and told it to square up
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    • Well it’s simple. I love murder
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    • Hello, welcome to schizophreniacs of America
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    • 2
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    • I've done literally all of these
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    • I say hello to my Roomba every time I pass it
      RAPIDFIRE 10 apr
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    • The machine spirit is angry, pray to the Omnissiah for forgiveness
      Ork_ 10 apr
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    • You know those frebreeze things that spray on a timer so every couple minuets you hear a cat hiss and it smells good? Yea for some reason everytime it does its job i yell at it to stop sneezing on people
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    • So my mom has chickens. I fuckin hate them they shit everywhere and dig holes and are loud when I’m trying to sleep. A friend came over once and squealed with joy when she saw them. One chicken gave a bitchy Brock and I said “don’t even fuckin start it’s not my fault you’re like this” she flipped
      datyou 10 apr
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    • When any appliance doesn’t work, “you never fucking respect me 😫”
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    • Y'all should listen to a mechanic work. Everything is a worthless piece of shit that needs to get the fuck in there.
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    • “Really?” I say to tumblr posts that are longer than 2 statements like someone actually expects me to read it all.
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    • A Japanese belief states that if an object survives for 100 years it gains a soul. Called tsukumogami.
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    • The omnisiah resides in all machines. Praise.
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    • The machine spirits are not pleased
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    • mechanicus adeptus nibbas where you at
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    • Yall ever think about how humans have developed for thousands of years without inanimate objects making sounds out of nowhere, and our primal brains are probably confused as fuck
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    • "What the fuck?" I say to my tv when the game kills me for no reason
      Smuggs75 9 apr
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    • "its not that serious" i say to the fire alarm blaring shrilly and my burning eggs and bacon
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    • Floor: creaks. Me: quit snitchin motherfucker
      PODEPOM 9 apr
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    • We’re just lookin out for decepticons
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    • Is it bad that I do all of this?
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    • I say "thanks buddy" to my dryer after I get my clothes out
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    • Pewds 9 apr
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    • Personification
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    • I was a tech in the military, I worked on these automated systems every day. Each of them had unique behaviors, even though they’re all the same. I loved them, and talked to them like they were people. And they took care of me when I needed them to.
      Tech64 16 apr
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    • The machine spirit must be appeased.
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    • Never have I ever said anything besides “fuck” after bumping into a table.
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    • I carry on conversations with my car.
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    • I talk to my car. It constantly complains it's out of gas after I just gave it gas 2 days ago. It's always hungry! And it always feels the need to cry just because it's a little bit hungry. I'm a little bit hungry! It doesn't hear me complaining!
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    • Praise the omnissah
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    • "Shut the fuck up, I'm getting up" I say to my alarm in the morning
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    • It’s called animism.
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    • I ripped a piece of paper after it wouldn't come out of the stack
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    • “Well bye then” I said to my tv as I threw it out a three story building
      chanza 13 apr
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    • A lot of you need to get out and socialize with "real people" a little more often. Just a thought.
      Noah_Body 12 apr
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    • “Funny” I say, to a feature that lacks even the slightest humor.
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    • Personification at its finest in humanity
      Mactifyre 12 apr
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    • numina
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    • This is gay.
      1
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    • “SHUT UP SHUT UP, STOP IT ARE YOU STUPID” me to my phone when the internet won’t work, well aware I’m in a dead zone
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    • Watching toy story as a kid sorta made me think every toy i had was alive
      __endy_ 12 apr
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    • Animistic thinking
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    • I usually say "You fucking right" to objects that fall over or whatever. Then I have to say "Not you" to whoever is nearby
      istnet1 12 apr
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    • Never know when you're in the presence of an autobot
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    • We apologize to the people at the table who’s food we almost dumped on their lap.
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    • This generation is pretty annoying with this stuff
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    • Can't relate too much
      The_Cat3 11 apr
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    • "Don't tell me how to live my life" I say to my GPS as it gives me directions.
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    • Thats called Paganism
      blademiss 11 apr
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    • I read it as intimate objects at first and I was very confused
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    • I've never said I'm sorry to a table
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    • “You’re kidding”
      heccccc 11 apr
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    • Every time I bump into something, I act like it wants to fight and threaten it lmao
      1
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    • I tell my phone to shut the fuck up more than I talk to people in general
      soupspoon 11 apr
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    • You apologized to the table for it running into you? BEAT. IT’S. ASS.
      1
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    • Whenever I tell something to stop falling over, it works almost 90-95% of the time, coincidence I think NOT
      1
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    • “Fuckin piece of shit” I say to the table I bump into
      1
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    • I do it so if they become sentient, they won’t kill me
      1
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    • Not reading this retard shit
      kyky44 10 apr
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    • I just cuss out things I drop
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    • “Don’t you shout at me” I say to the one yelling in all caps
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    • This phenomena is prolly responsible for Taoism
      1
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    • All you fucks are crazy
      Meme_menu 10 apr
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    • 1
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    • "Oh you're not gonna stall out on me you old bitch!" You scream at your truck that needs a new clutch that you dont have time to install
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