• 253 comments

    • I once as a minotaur gored a horse to establish dominance
      1.4K 45
    • I thought I was in collective.
      636 20
    • My buddy shoved a 12 inch copper dildo up the Goddess of Wind’s ass.
      Vekkros 18d
      7
    • I play a plague doctor and my party of three only needs a room for two because I deflate at night and they can hang me up in the closet. I also never take off my mask and just splash milk against it to drink. Sometimes I prostitute myself for money
      6 4
    • I married a player character to an NPC last night. He had gotten her pregnant and they were on a ship. Had the captain perform the ceremony
      5 2
    • This abomination showed up during one of my sessions
      5
    • Saturday night as a Goliath Monk I used Redirect Projectile to catch and throw a 50 foot tree back at a giant Treant.
      5
    • Friend: *Knows that a room is full of things that will electrocute him, and is currently wearing full plated armor.* “I want to enter the lightning room.” *Almost downs himself. Sees button that he KNOWS will burn him immensely.* “PRESS BUTTON” *Down*
      5
    • Our 3 foot dwarf rolled a nat 20 and threw our 6 foot orc at an enemy so hard the enemy died
      5 1
    • One time when I was playing as a wizard I used a spell to cast a large floating hand that would follow me around and could do a lot of useful stuff. But I just used it to shove a giant finger into the enemies ass and raise them up to the ceiling for several turns at a time
      5 3
    • Bruh I made a bard and became the largest source and buyer of a street drug. Nobody bought or produced it except me, but I move it across political lines in such a way that I still make money off it
      5
    • Just a few days ago I played a campaign where me and my friends tried making the dumbest character and whoever won got that character in the game while everyone else had to make normal ones the winner was a lawnmower named Kyle
      4 3
    • My 0layer once convinced an orc war camp he was an orc and killed they're cheif. Hes a half elf. And now he is an orc warcheif
      4
    • I’m just gonna gather like 60+ people and do a giant Dnd battle royal
      4 9
    • My dnd character is on track to becoming a god but he mostly just wants to fuck his girlfriend
      DrReid 18d
      4
    • I just played my first quest and I ended up seducing a goblin and shitting in their water supply
      4
    • My friend rolled a 20 to seduce a dragon and suck his peen
      4
    • I once rolled to hit a goblin with my mace but I rolled a 1 and beaned an old lady in the head with it
      5
    • Seems like the mods have a stiff penis for d&d
      4
    • I have a character who's just a normal human being who learnt how to fight. Instead of some cringy "I'm so quirky and random my character is a chaotic neutral who eats only cheese and talks in Limericks"
      4 2
    • My friend got a poor roll on a CON check, and got diarrhea. He then flung his shit as a weapon, but rolled a 2 and hit our Archer. Meanwhile, two fucking ogres we're going to town on me and I was just sitting there behind my tower shield, wondering where it all went wrong
      mrVodka 18d
      3 1
    • And people wonder why hardcore Christians think they’re summoning demons
      3
    • My friends once tried to backstab for past dnd games and to fight back I prayed to my god and became a Demi god but they prayed to their gods which created a holy war between the gods and the gods of good and evil went at it and ours lost making is convert to gods of evil
      3 1
    • Anyone else play serious campaigns?
      Rhard 18d
      3 2
    • Tf is dnd
      sfa1 18d
      3 2
    • Anyone else love how random DnD can get? Like one time I was playing with some friends, got a dragon egg, abandoned them to wait at the top a mountain and raise my dragon. 2 hours later they’re all dead and I finish the game as the only survivor with a pet dragon
      3
    • What is DND???? I feel like i know it but WHAT IS IT
      3 4
    • My friend turned into a bee flew into the bbeg ass and turned back to normal and split the dude in half
      3
    • I pushed the mayor of a roof and then pushed his wife of with him cuz im a rogue so you know fuck it right my team trying to save them at the bottom with spell i decide that i want them to be dead so i jump to force my team to stop helping them and start helping me
      3 2
    • You’ll never know D&D shenanigans until a party member rolls a one and one-shots you with a Level 3 Ray of Sickness in the first round of combat
      3 1
    • I was once cornered by one of the bosses in a dungeon and I was gonna die if I took one more hit, so I decided to take a chance and roll to seduce her and the dm rolled a nat 1 so I got laid as the rest of the party fought the other boss
      3
    • Featured again I see
      Jimbo04 18d
      3
    • I tried to seduce then stab a brothel owner, only to roll a natural 1 and he grabs my hand mid swing then yeets me down the stairs. Turns out he was gonna be our main quest giver for the campaign. Oops
      3
    • We literally just put up a reward for other adventures in a guild hall for a quest we didn't want to do.
      3
    • One time my friend fucked a tree demon that turned out to be a little girl
      3 3
    • Once in a dnd game I still someone’s pants but failed the check so I had the pants but he noticed, then I got a 20 on deception to convince him that the pants I was holding weren’t his
      2
    • As a gnome I got drunk, stripped off my clothes, climbed into a barrel of beer, and cried about how the rest of my team didn't like me.
      2
    • "I'm proficient in penises, so I get +4 to my urination check."
      2
    • convinced a dragon to give me a cool hat as a birthday present at the dragons own birthday party
      2
    • Our Warlock became the dad to his past self and taught him how to be a Warlock.
      2
    • Once my dm just said she’d give us 1 item each if we rolled a 20. That was the beginning of the bard with a glock
      3
    • I play a blessed sorcerer cleric with bright red eyes and huge demon wings (per the blessed sorcerer part) D&D is fucking weird
      2
    • A buddy of mine played a centaur and had to dodge so when he rolled a savings throw he...he rolled so well he did a cartwheel
      2
    • I've never played DnD, is it fun?
      nignard 18d
      2 11
    • This DnD game seems so fun I feel like I'm missing out. Cant find it on play store. Where can I get it?
      2 7
    • I dead ass fucked a dragon and my dick caught on fire
      2
    • I S M E L L P E N N I E S
      2
    • I had to beat the shit out of a 3000 year old midget with a stick so I could enter an actual dwarf bar as infiltration to a secret order of midgets. (The midgets were acting as “dwarves”).
      2
    • Hey i havent played dnd yet and I want to try, where should I go to start?
      2 3
    • I tried to seduce a cave once
      2 1
    • I started a campaign as the weakest in the group by far and ended up as god. Also blew people for turbo laser towers.
      2 5
    • I knwo someone who about 3 encounters in a row all skeletons after them, they later found out that the dude summoning them had a thing against their race
      2
    • I once tamed a puppy and made it puppy armor
      G_V_F 18d
      2
    • If you’re not seducing dragons instead of fighting them you’re playing it wrong
      2
    • If I get tc I'll post a picture of my dog
      2
    • I once stopped the entire party just so I could loot and dead soldier right before the final battle. I didn’t need anymore money at this point, it was just to assert myself as the ultimate thief.
      1
    • One time I had a tea party with a bunch of sentient baby dragons
      1
    • No one cares what you may have accomplished in D&D, with that being said I need to start playing it
      Zillion 17d
      1
    • I once interrogated a guy named whataburger
      Cozed 17d
      1
    • I picked up a skeleton and kinda like wrestle mania spun and threw it into a wall of fire, not impressive, but fun
      1
    • I one time played as a wildmage, and accidentally made the only other female character in our party naked three times with my wildsurge.
      Kyonuma 17d
      1
    • Sounds more like a dog in the room
      1
    • Sooooo who wants to start a campaign like i have my character sheets and everything i just need a party to adventure with sooo anyone have a group that needs a druid or rogue (if you happen to be in the rolla/jeff city mo. Area i have extra dice)
      1
    • I’ve only played DND once and it stopped because my friend in the group moved. I jumped in in the middle but still at the beginning of the campaign (session 3 I think). I decided to play as my OC (Drow Sorcerer whose very laid back and doesn’t give a damn). (Time to write an essay on this lol)
      KrusadR 18d
      1 5
    • I once gained the ability to gain the qualities of what I ate, so when I eat a bee I got litle bee wings. So basicly I ate to dick of my friend who was an 8'6" Ork... the DM just got up and left
      1
    • Someone needs to bake DnD online so I could get the play with randoms and not be judged in my area :(
      1 3
    • Line 18d
      1
    • Why do so many people play dnd now????
      1 2
    • Another time we were playing a dnd game where we had to storm trump tower and kill trump but other presidential candidates were in the way this was set in a more modern setting with me being a character called the giggan*gga my friend who basically Deadpool our dm who was a tiny gnome
      1
    • I've seen the actual post on Tumblr. Y'all are missing out by not seeing all the replies
      1
    • I accidentally started a fight with all the NPC’s on the ship. We had just started.
      Tumbl 18d
      1
    • Friend bodyslammed my character three floors over an egg
      1
    • I once got arrested as a Druid and when I got into a verbal argument with the officer I ended up breathing poison into his breath and started an encounter that crippled everyone in my party but me. Fun times
      sandboi 18d
      1
    • My horse headbutt me so I tposed it and stabbed it
      1
    • One time I had to finish off a giant dog who was attacking the party and an old lady along with 3 other giant dogs, so I carved out the dog's rectum, pulled out its heart through the cavity, and ate the heart. The other dogs then turned to me and stopped focusing on everyone else.
      2
    • I'm literally starting a race war between black and white bird people in my current dnd session.
      1
    • Went into an average town that was supposed to just be a resting place for the day and ended up starting the equivalent of the Salem Witch Trials as a power play.
      1 1
    • I once decided to make my rogue a mute because I didn't say anything during our first session. I'm the only one who survived a TPK because I didn't show up to the second session.
      1
    • Me and my friends are doing a final fantasy based campaign and one of us recently tamed a cactuar by telling it a joke
      1
    • Undertale DnD?
      2
    • One time I drowned in a bathtub full of piss while playing as a gnome chaos mage
      1
    • How do you play online
      1 1
    • I heard a female played by Monty python voice when I read that
      masg424 18d
      1
    • This is the third time I’ve seen this featured
      1
    • BARD IS THE WAY
      1
    • One time I rode in on my obsidian steed (3.5 ed) with a weapon artifact called a death lance, and I rolled a nat 20 to hit a Planetar Angel (look them up, super badass basically an archangel), charged, one shot the fuck out of it, and absorbed it’s soul into my Lance.
      1 2
    • Man who picks the featured cause iv seen this like 3 times
      1
    • One time I was playing with my friends and we went into a dungeon and encountered a giant dragon, none of us know what to do and I just sat up and said " I want to seduce the dragon" i rolled a nat 20 and it's my pet
      69ecoli 18d
      1
    • I had a girl roll to shove a dwarf up her ass
      1
    • My friend who got turned into a wereBear, hunted down a werewolf to make love to him and a stab list dominance
      REETCON 18d
      1
    • Beware tis on thy lowest level of ridiculousness
      1
    • Our characters occasionally acquire nicknames due to stupid shit they say or do. To list a few Sparkles the pole dancing dwarf, Kevin, and dances with knolls. Not to mention my sister's characters are always black... no matter what she says.
      1
    • my friend took a bite out of a stone door in one of our campaigns
      1
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