• prokopetz
Little-known downsides of immortality:
Tearing your favourite article of clothing and
discovering that it's irreplaceable because
the technique of its manufacture has been
lost
Realising you've thought of the perfect
comeback to someone who's been dead for
three hundred years
Not being able to eat your favourite dish
anymore because the source of some critical
ingredient has gone extinct
Having strong opinions about sports that are
no longer played
Getting a song from the 13th Century stuck
in your head and being unable to get it out
because you don't remember how it ends
and you're the only person on Earth who
knows it
Having that perfect pun you've been waiting
forever for a chance to use stop working due
to linguistic drift
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    • In Elizabethan England, the spoon was so novel and prized that people carried their own folding spoons to banquets. In the 13th century, the coronation of every British king was preceded by a ritual where the new king would be anointed by a ceremonial spoon. Comically ceremonial spoon.
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    • If we’re talking about the immortality that implies “you can’t die no matter what” then the worst part would be when our sun collapses, our universe folds onto itself, and your left living at the end of the universe where black holes have torn everything apart, your just there living with nothing
      Michaelaf 11 jul
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    • I would think people get smarter as they get older, and so at a certain point you’d get pissed at everyday conversation because nobody would be on your level of understanding. Can you imagine if Plato or Socrates had an eternity to just sit there and think?
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    • How come every time you say something about immortality some philosophy major crawls out of the woodwork to say something along the lines of immortal life is meaningless because death is part of life. Like bitch I want to see the universe and see humanity advance.
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    • Ngl if you are a materialistic immortal you are probably gunna be annoyed a lot unless you have access to the internet and you can find theses things out and document them for later then become the only being in existence who can do those lot techniques, arts, recipes and keep those plants alive.
      rambeaoux 11 jul
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    • If i had immortality i would in a deep underground tomb like structure and i would pass on wisdom from the past to people in the future in exchange for info from the current time they are in
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    • At some point i'd just start angrily editing wikipedia articles because i was there and know what happened.
      Steelmoth 11 jul
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    • Lol writing a book rn about someone who gets turned immortal and This is gonna help
      Chill__ 11 jul
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    • Getting 'Leave Her Johnny' stuck in your head even though its 2020 and Assassin's Creed 4 came out like 7 years ago
      Jimbato 11 jul
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    • How about being forced to move every 15 years so that nobody can figure out your secret? Or the inability to form lasting relationships?
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    • You fall in love with someone but then you are cursed to live forever after they are gone.
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    • Idk about you people but i would love toive forever.
      POGCHIMP 11 jul
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    • Running out of dating options because youve slept with everybody's grandmother
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    • Wow. Seems alittle close to home for this guy. He really thought this out. Almost as if he is going thought this personally.
      donm9556 12 jul
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    • Think about the coochie you slayed though, you could write a book bout that shit, call it the encyclopussdia
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    • It’s not that bad, but I definitely don’t miss the toilet paper with splinters in it.
      Pyroxx 11 jul
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    • Best part of immortality would be watching humanity fall apart as a result of their own greed
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    • Ah yes, the Gregorian Chant from the 13th century that has been stuck in my head for literal ages... what a fucking banger.
      Flamjetxx 11 jul
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    • My issue with immortality is what if someone throws you down a hole and you’re just stuck there until the end of time
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    • So if you’re immortal, does that mean you can visit the bottom of the ocean? The furthest reaches of the universe? That would be cool
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    • Stupid... only narcissistic asshole would care about any of those minor inconveniences. My disappointment is immeasurable and my millennia is ruined
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    • Watch The Old Gaurd on Netflix. It's about 5 immortals and it's super well choreographed and entertaining start to finish.
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    • If you lived forever you would be battling your own sanity, and no one could win that in an infinite setting.
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    • additionally, as the human form evolves you will still look relatively unchanged other than cultural adaptation. for instance you’d be the only human that didn’t evolve a 2nd thumb, or a cone shaped head, or external colon... idk something like that
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    • True immortality would suck in the long run, but there would be moments of beauty throughout.
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    • How does hunger work for an immortal being? Do they need to eat? If they don’t eat will their body just eat away at itself but are unable to die?
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    • I feel like ennui, boredom, loneliness, and insanity are bigger downsides to immortality
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    • If i was immortal id fuck with everyone and "die" about 100 times at major world events and always make sure to show up at them so there is a conspiracy about false flag operations even though i just cant die
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    • This person may actually be immortal and is trying to tell us their struggle without actually telling us he’s immortal
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    • Anybody else notice he spoke as if he knows?
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    • I think that I'd rather die than outlive blue jeans
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    • Just a whole bunch of moments like this
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    • Immortality is a curse and a punishment
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    • Thanks for this...you just made my novel good
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    • Guys the joke is that they’re minor inconveniences stop mentioning loved ones dying being worse
      duxi 11 jul
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    • Injuries stack up over time. Imagine living basically hundreds of life times with a fucked up shoulder and a missing leg
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    • I thought of a brilliant roast that would have ended someone’s life. The semester after he transferred to a new college because he’s a dumbass
      hmac13 11 jul
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    • The true downside of immortality is that you’d most likely be the laziest person alive and never amount to anything. Knowing your time is limited is a major motivator for most people so if you quite literally have all the time in the world than there’s never urgency
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    • If you're immortal and dont know how to sew, you're doing it wrong.
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    • First world problems of age.
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    • Sounds like you speak from experience...
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    • You have no idea how bad the song and the pun ones are. It’s painful because not even the best linguists today will get it
      TheScoot 11 jul
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    • Floating though endless darkness in the universe post heat death
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    • Also having to continually go to college and get a new degree
      sambam210 11 jul
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    • being immortal will always be my first wish.
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    • Read Gullivers travels. In it Swift discusses the idea of everlasting life, but it does not come with Everlasting youth. The characters in the book are absolutely miserable because they keep becoming more and more decrepit and know that they will never die.
      Umph 11 jul
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    • This was written by a vampire.
      HeyYoVio 11 jul
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    • Those are oddly specific
      Saints123 11 jul
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    • I’m going to use all of these in my Curse of Strahd campaign
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    • Realizing you gained immortality at 8 and have never reached puberty. As such, you can never have a relationship with anyone.
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    • I'd just be an asshole on a mountain that has the cheese it recipie
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    • I would still say the pun and when they didn’t understand say “Ah you had to be there.”
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    • see THESE are the reasons i wouldnt wanna be immortal. all that generic crap "watch loved ones die, seeing the world end." i dont care about, this is the shit they should be talking about.
      Naaaaaail 11 jul
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    • Being immortal sounds like hell
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    • Also having ur love interests keep dying
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    • Imagine being immortal but your memory capacity doesn’t accommodate for it. Eventually you’d just start forgetting everything, probably within hours of it happening.
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    • I'd really like to figure out how plausible it would be to accumulate wealth over lifetimes
      TawpHat 11 jul
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    • Also having to deal with the pain that you will never achieve anything in life even with eternity by your side
      PEARCUBS 11 jul
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    • I thought it said immorality and I was like what the fuck
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    • You know, I think I could deal.
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    • "I guess so..." Dracula whispers to no one, as his castle was left abandoned, the last beings of sentience reduced to the castle's sole inhabitant millenia ago. "Jacking off WOULD be considered a sport..."
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    • Yeah but any real immortal would’ve learned how to cook a long ass time ago and would undoubtedly be rich and have a garden for those specific ingredients
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    • Bro just reinvent forgotten songs
      ausermeme 11 jul
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    • If I got to become immortal, meaning that I dont age and maybe also means that I have some sort of regenerative property, I'd go for it. No matter what
      Revenantt 11 jul
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    • If I were properly immortal. I'd just superman my way through battlefields.
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    • due to how stupid people are, you could easily rule the world, and have the preservation of every single you desire.
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    • An empty existence is one without lasagna
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    • People always think "I don't want to see my loved ones die" when thinking about immortality, but don't think about when the sun eventually starts dying and engulfs the earth. All life would've ceased a long time before then, so no doubt you'd be mad by then, but im assuming you'd still feel pain
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    • I crave the sweet release of death
      Weird 11 jul
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    • Or when sun make earth go byebye and you just float in space for eternity
      tocaboca 13 jul
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    • Wasting away in the endless abyss of space for the rest of the universe’s lifespan
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    • I'm convinced op is actually immortal
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    • I will own a chicken-farm to keep it a delicacy forever
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    • Immortality is good as long as you can decide when enough is enough
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    • I already have the first problem. I got a pair of NB Minimus shoes for running and they're hands down the best and most comfortable shoes I own. A few years back, the soles started falling off and, being the cheapass I am, I gorilla glued those suckers back together. My wife, wanting to be sweet,…
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    • Upsides: im god, bow down children.
      Ino_pfpI 11 jul
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    • The good news about the ingredients is that you can just...run a garden. I mean, you will be rich after all! Put some money in the bank, wait some years for compounding interest to make life fascinating, then hire people to tend thm.
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    • Good thing my memory is shit because it looks to me that all these drawbacks are based on memories of the past. My brain wipes out half of relevant information for the day every few minutes. I could still do immortality.
      Xanehex 11 jul
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    • If these bother you your not fit to be immortal
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    • Not saying that I'm immortal but you've never seen me dead so
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    • Fuck me. Imagine no mac and cheese
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    • Sounds like an immortal is telling us there woes
      ozielg 11 jul
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    • I'd like to watch the world grow...or get destroyed at this rate as it seems. I have no personal connections to anybody but my dad, so I'm not afraid of losing anyone. Sure I'd get bored but I'd live hah pun intended...shit
      Icepick 11 jul
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    • Also, being alive
      Prdls 11 jul
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    • Haha, you will never lose the great taste of spaghetti!
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    • No that comeback is used when you tell that story to someone. Immortality and petty as fuck go hand in hand
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    • Some pros of being immortal. As long as entertainment exists I will get to experience all sorts of things and will also be able to see the end of one piece
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    • Immortality would suck cuz everyone you know and love will die and you'll be alone lowkey. You should be able to have an off button on ur immortality, then itd be ok
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    • Seeing the rise and fall of forgotten empires and embracing savage conquest as time erodes the only fragile part of my immortal body. My mind shall crumble and i will feast on the fless of mortals as i descend into godhood. I will forget my name and my morality. I will be consumed by time.
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    • Sounds like someone is immortal
      inkey88 11 jul
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    • Also watching everyone die around you, but hey you get to chill with the Queen and Betty White so thats a plus
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    • I'd never stop collecting coins but never stop
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    • Seems a little oddly specific if you ask me
      MrSnime 11 jul
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    • What happens if you're immortal and have an idetic memory?
      darknymph 11 jul
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    • I would be constantly angry whenever someone tried to tell me incorrect history that I lived through
      Ladbanter 11 jul
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    • If you have enough money the first one doesn’t apply
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    • I miss giant tortoise. Shit was the best in almost every way and pirates depleated the supply
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    • Immortality is over rated, but i wouldn’t say no to 500-800 years.
      Stabby 11 jul
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    • Makes sense that Dracula put effort into maintaining a library of immense knowledge, just so it could be kept around
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    • Honestly I'd love true immortality, for completely selfish reasons
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