Mom walks into my room: Why are you watching my 600 lb life, shouldn't you be in a class meeting?
My online PE coach:
Planet_Express Planet_Express
19 oct 2020
Mom walks into my room: Why are you watching my 600 lb life, shouldn't you be in a class meeting? My online PE coach:
When it's 2 am at the sleepover, and you and your bestie decide to cut each other's bangs:
Moneyluv Moneyluv
18 feb
When it's 2 am at the sleepover, and you and your bestie decide to cut each other's bangs:
When you finally get recognized for something other than porn but
they broadcast it on BBC
DoctorRockso DoctorRockso
22 jan 2021
When you finally get recognized for something other than porn but they broadcast it on BBC
i keep saying "it is what it is" but like what is it
LisaHarris LisaHarris
9 feb
i keep saying "it is what it is" but like what is it
You laugh at pictures of dogs with words written above and below
Not even dogs
One dog
The same fucking dog
From how many years ago
hehe
dog funny
ChrisSale ChrisSale
23 sep 2020
You laugh at pictures of dogs with words written above and below Not even dogs One dog The same fucking dog From how many years ago hehe dog funny
When you're in church and burp and taste nut from last night
lord! That to scape ost
child tried to scape
bmed93179 bmed93179
5 nov 2020
When you're in church and burp and taste nut from last night lord! That to scape ost child tried to scape
Waiting for your girlfriend to calm down when she is mad because u love her and don't want to make her more mad
Waiting for your girlfriend to calm down when she is mad because u love her and don't want to make her more mad
Me: *accidentally makes eye contact with the crackhead outside of 7-11*
The crackhead:
of
YOur soul is mine.
ASS
BarrettFan101 BarrettFan101
15 dec 2020
Me: *accidentally makes eye contact with the crackhead outside of 7-11* The crackhead: of YOur soul is mine. ASS
My computer watching me struggle to select all the boxes with traffic lights
bitchpudden49 bitchpudden49
23 sep 2020
My computer watching me struggle to select all the boxes with traffic lights
Dog noses are wet to better help them absorb scent chemicals. A special mucus is secreted to help
them absorb these special
chemicals. Once the chemicals
are on the nose, dogs lick them so that they can sample them and understand what it is that they're
smelling
2ManyFacts 2ManyFacts
26 sep 2020
Dog noses are wet to better help them absorb scent chemicals. A special mucus is secreted to help them absorb these special chemicals. Once the chemicals are on the nose, dogs lick them so that they can sample them and understand what it is that they're smelling
There's someone for everyone and the person for you is a psychiatrist!
There's someone for everyone and the person for you is a psychiatrist!
"You're a sick person if you think watching kids fall down is funny"
Me:
Dawson Dawson
15 oct 2020
"You're a sick person if you think watching kids fall down is funny" Me:
When she pulls down my boxers
and sees what I'm packing
Less than half of what l'd hoped for.
Feasty_y Feasty_y
5 feb
When she pulls down my boxers and sees what I'm packing Less than half of what l'd hoped for.
"YOU JUST GONNA DO METH AND JERK OFF ALL NIGHT AGAIN?"
ME:
"YOU JUST GONNA DO METH AND JERK OFF ALL NIGHT AGAIN?" ME:
Taco Bell employee: Sir, you don't need to moan after every item you order
Taco Bell employee: Sir, you don't need to moan after every item you order
When you know yo homies trash but you keep running with
them
@Hoodville
AnonymousBOS AnonymousBOS
19 oct 2020
When you know yo homies trash but you keep running with them @Hoodville
When I'm alone with my thoughts:
Oh God. stuck with the weirdo.
staples1724 staples1724
3 jan 2021
When I'm alone with my thoughts: Oh God. stuck with the weirdo.
A Father-To-Be Died While
Building A Gender-Reveal
Device That Exploded
Tasneem Nashrulla
Mocita
24 feb
A Father-To-Be Died While Building A Gender-Reveal Device That Exploded Tasneem Nashrulla
people who eat potato salad:
Kiwibob Kiwibob
9 apr
people who eat potato salad:
I want someone to look at me the same way this hippie chick looks at her avocado
fF
I want someone to look at me the same way this hippie chick looks at her avocado fF