• E pregnantseinfeld Follow
ape babies: hey whats up 1 can
climb around and do whatever the
fuck i want basically from birth
human baby: uhhhhhhhhhhh guess ¡11
be a dumb immobile little slug for
like a year
Human babies are born at the last possible
moment before their craniums can't pass
through the birth canal. We're basically all born
premature because of our big brains.
É nightsarmament Follow
big brained babies too stupid to do sick flips
from tree branches
    • EmailPinterestRedditTumblr Report
    • Copy link
    • Pinterest
  • 726 comments

    • We need to evolve bigger vaginas so I can finally evolve a 6 inch penis
      2K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What would happen if we just left the baby in for a while longer and cut it out later? Super baby?
      Erosip 26 jun
      1.3K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I've heard that pretty much all other animal births are pretty easy going then the human is just fucking shit biologically
      Bjord 26 jun
      867 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I punch babies. Babies are bad. 8,720 kiIIed and 14 wounded
      853 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Stupid fucking babies these only know how to cry, drink formula, crap, and do nothing. Worthless pieces of shit
      548 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • 216 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Most kids do stuff before a year. Just saying.
      131 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Heads up guys, intelligence has to do with the amount of neurons a brain contains rather than the actual size of the brain
      116 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Im not an expert in birth, but that doesn't sound right to me... Vaginas dialate to like 10+ cm. That's almost 4 inches wide. Then stretch more to allow a baby through. Im a grown ass adult and I'm pretty sure I could stick my head all the way into a 4 inch dialated vagina. But I've never tried.
      Cacaonut 26 jun
      64 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I like how the Bible says that the forbidden fruit was the fruit of knowledge, and the punishment for it was making childbirth painful, and how human childbirth is the most painful because a baby's head is very large in relation to a woman's hip size
      39 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Haha I hate kids and babies, am I quirky yet?
      Craggy 26 jun
      34 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Most mammals are up and doing their taxes within a few days of birth, except for goats who are up and commiting tax evasion
      13 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Huh? I thought storks brought babies?
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So you’re saying black babies are born more “developed” than white babies? PS, pretty rude of you to call black babies “apes” and white babies “human”. Shame on you.
      50 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Did you know that human babies are natural swimmers?
      Rolfy 26 jun
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It's due to our intellect and the size our skull needs to have to hold a mature brain. Brain needs time to grow. Same reason baby Yoda is a toddler at 50, super intelligent species require a longer timeframe to mature.
      KnottyRoo 26 jun
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ah shit sweet flips
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If you let a baby grab a bar and let go it hangs on really well
      6 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Big brain moment
      Weird 26 jun
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • 36 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • A year? More like 18
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I taught both of my sisters to climb out of the crib as babies. I must have mastered the art myself.
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Monkies also get better muscle than us. Not cool
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Damn only 1 comment and it’s porn
      Nado 26 jun
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I was not born. I descended to my world
      Boat_Man 26 jun
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I love this porn app
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Famberine 26 jun
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I was c section
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ah yes, a comment deleter
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Human babies are basically less mobile monkeys in every capacity until they start to speak.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • And it's still useless until it's around 3, then it has death wishes.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What if we allow them to continue to grow at the expense of the pregnant lady to achieve a full brain and be megamind
      Worst_boi 29 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So evolution can give us big brain but not a better birth system? First they take away our tails and now this? Evolution sucks I want to go back to being a fish.
      KalePyro 29 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Well my fucking kid is pass due and refusing to come out so it better be able to do kick flips when it’s born.
      breaboo 29 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Evolutionists explain
      skiMilk 29 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • yeah but then we grow up to be fucking humans and those things grow up to be actual monkies so who's the real winner...
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • We're effectively born under developed due to our big brains not being able to pass through the birth canal when they are more developed. 1.5-2 year olds typically have enough grip strength to support their entire weight and have natural swimming reflexes. We're like late game builds in video games.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What’s interesting is “baby strength” is still around. Like when a baby grabs ur finger. They actually have enough strength to hold themselves up, much like our ape ancestors
      5arvn 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So humans need bigger vaginas is all im hearing
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • When i was a baby i remember trying to do things and it wasnt that i couldnt, my muscles werent strong enough yet. Or mentally i understood what i wanted to do but somehow my brain wasnt capable yet. Super weird
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What about c sections
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Women just need bigger pussies
      Luka_Lux 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If we didn't have tech like we do now we'd eventually evolve to have wider hips and babies would be born a lot later. But honestly in the near future women probably won't even be carrying babies anymore (artificial wombs)
      RedHub 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • All of the developmental capabilities go towards forming your brain even after birth, which is why babies cant do shit in the first year or so except learn
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • But babies can swim, can monkey babies? Nope
      Gabagool 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Procrastination is my Achilles ankle
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It's actually because our hips are so narrow, due to us walking upright.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • all 2019 kids know how to do is sleep shit they selves drink formula and cry
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Stupid babies and there not paying taxes
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Sounds like we need bigger pussies and dicks
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Little baby man
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • is that the tiniest glimpse of the ifunny.co mark
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The faster a newborn can take care of themselves, the more they rely on instinct and not reason.
      chem250 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I watched a video that said that as humans began to evolve the ability to walk on two legs, the space between our pelvises got smaller which meant babies had to be born sooner so their heads could still fit through. This is why we are so incompetent (can’t think of a better word) as babies
      AlleyWolf 28 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • New humans take 18 years and 9 months MINIMUM to boot.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It's because of the standing upright posture that humans evolved into. It reshaped the waist and shrunk the opening so technically human babies are all born premature. And it hurts more.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hey man, that big brain helps us when we’re little, I was walking and talking before I was one (obviously not coherent sentences, but talking nonetheless)
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You can throw a human baby into a lake and it won’t drown for about 2 hours
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Women need larger birth canals
      smurler 27 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • That and we walk upright, so women's hips aren't the same shape as would be if not. What I read was that if humans were born as developed as other animal babies, they would be like 2.5 years old.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Mostly it's because human babies dont have to do stuff like that to survive, apes need to be able to climb trees and shit to not get eaten, human babies dont so they're just dumb immobile slugs, that said they do learn extremely quickly
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • We're fucking doomed.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Thats why i like thick latinas. So my children can have a bigger more developed brain and have a better chance of life. Interesting
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Flexin on y’all motherfuckers who didn’t stay inside for an extra week
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • And mfs will still say we came from chimps. Smh animals are allowed to have similarities and not be direct descendants. Literally happens constantly in other species.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I've been a dumb immobile slug for way more than a year now
      _ohio_ 27 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • But our heads are like very similar in size to ape heads
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Yeah like a calf can practically walk right after
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Babies are born unripened, they need time
      rayodino 27 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I think if c sections were more normalized, babies might begin to develop more
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Bruh imagine pushing out a toddler and watching the fucker stumble around trying to walk like a baby horse. Heebie jeebies horror shit right there
      sangwoono 27 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • And then we used our big brains and invented C-sections so we could have even bigger brains
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You can teach your baby to swim before their one year old.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So animals got some big pussies
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • so what you’re saying is that I should just get a monkey instead of having a child some day? sick I’m down
      lerbian 26 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Babies can swim when they’re first born
      AdultToys 26 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • We need to evolve so they can be birthed at maximum potential
      Iceaegis 26 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Technically newborns all know how to swim though so we got that going
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So we just need giant women for better babies then. Sounds like a win win to me
      mikejakob 26 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Beeg bwaine
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Plenty of apes in detroit
      noname00 26 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • This wouldn’t be a problem if women had wider hips
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • There's also a theory that it's because we're made for learning and so we can't have natural intelligence because of that
      shmupejr 26 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • That’s why scientifically bigger hips=smarter stronger babies
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Nope we just don’t train our kids to do crap
      Reuben625 26 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Humans have one of the biggest difference in ratio for the size of an infants head to the size of a females birth canal in the entire animal kingdom
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • AcTuAlLy, at right about 9 months, the baby starts consuming more calories than the mother can comfortably support, so the body yeets it. There are plenty of women who can birth babies with larger heads and, if evolution wanted, women's hips would be larger if needed. Watch "its okay to be smart"
      licklack 26 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Human reproduction is retarded. Wanna see a well designed reproductive system? Look at cattle. We strapped a chain to a baby calf's ankles and pulled it out of momma with a tractor. Baby and mom were fine. That's good design right there
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I have 2 dum babies. A niece and nephew. They follow me around and speak gibberish. They dont do much but I luv them.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • If they so smart why cant they do math
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So is the reason we all like a fat ass some primal part of us realizing that wiser hips would be beneficial for our species.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Evolve better birth canals and reach our full potential. Have two year pregnancies to reach our full potential.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I believe it's also got to do with our pelvi enlarging to accommodate walking on 2 legs.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Well most of all of useless, pathetic slugs for the rest of your life.
      Peanut156 26 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Quadra-pedal creatures like apes have much wider hips and can deliver older babies. Bipedal creatures like us have narrow hips and must deliver earlier.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • That's one thing that's confused me ever since I learned about it. Why wouldn't we just evolve wider hips so that our babies can stay in the womb longer??? That now also brings up the question, if our babies could stay in until they're *truly* fully developed, how long would that be???
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Both apes
      MartinasC 26 jun
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I'm not factcheck but, we did evolve for baby heads to be not fully developed because out hips still aren't big enough to carry a full sized baby like other animals, that is why animals can walk right away, and we got until 21 to drink
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show

iFunny plug-in will teach your phone to smile

get on the iFunny app to roast them

All content related issues will be solved right here.
After all necessary information is provided, of course:

Complete the form below to notify iFunny of a claim relating to your intellectual property rights and content or some technical inconvenience with the service.
(Positive and productive feedback is appreciated as well).

Your details

Your relationships to the rights holder

Type of claim

Select
Copyright Trademark Nazi-related Offensive Technical difficulties Other
Describe the issue in detail. Please be specific.
Feeling poetic today? Feel free to provide more information
By clicking on "Submit" below, you are certifying the following statements:
  • I state that I have a good faith belief that use of the work(s) in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
  • I state that the information in this notification is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that I am the owner of the exclusive right that is allegedly infringed, or an authorized agent for the owner.
  • I give my permission to pass my contact information to the alleged infringing party.

Privacy notice

For a list of the categories of personal information that we collect from you and how we use that information, please review iFunny’s privacy policy