• pervocracy
Fun statistical fact: Cows are about 300 times
more likely to
kill you than coyotes.
Minor sidenote to statistical fact: If it was
common for people to keep several hundred
coyotes on their property and routinely chase
them into a corral and handle them, this
statistic would be different.
Lo biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
this is a great summary of 'conditional
probability', a statistical property many people
grapple with
Bi frienatytron feel like this post just made me realize that
both coconut trees and vending machines,
items often quoted in wacky death statistics,
are both things that people shake vigorously
often.
    • EmailPinterestRedditTumblr Report
    • Copy link
    • Pinterest
  • 686 comments

    • If you are a healthy human being and a coyote manages to k1ll you, you deserved to die
      1.1K Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Well coyotes have only taken out two humans in recorded history, so quite a bit more likely than that
      720 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • No shit
      App55 12 jul
      484 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Even if we corralled coyotes cows would kiII more people because cows are big and have strong kicks and coyotes are small and shouldn’t be able to take a human.
      lwpack 13 jul
      430 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Conditional probability can also be used to create tempting but usually falsifiable arguments. Data must be analyzed correctly
      tdawg1321 13 jul
      177 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • "B-b-but 13 percent!"
      210 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Careful you’re gonna get suicided by the FBI for explaining how they skew crime statistics to oppress certain races
      69 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • This sums up the gender wage gap, especially with Any Schumer and her Netflix special. She said people were sexist because her 1 star special got her less money then like, Dave Shapel
      39 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Are cows innocent grass puppies or are they undercover genocidal warlords? Make up your mind, people.
      17 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I dident read this meme but I'm going to comment anyway
      21 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Most the time coyotes hunt small prey and avoid humans. You'd have to be lying about half dead for them to do much of anything. Still treat them as dangerous wild creatures and stay away, they could be diseased or aggressive due to starvation. That's what they teach us in Wyoming anyways
      10 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • My cousin works in the ER and some guy can in, looking like a meaty bloody pulp, because his cow trampled him while trying to feed him. He lived but shit was not pretty
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Black bears and coyotes are the exact same. If you’re near their den/cubs they will fuck you up without question. Otherwise they’re like kids in Xbox parties. Sneeze and suddenly they fuckin gone
      8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Coyotes are pussies though
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Animal multiple times my size or weird skinny rat dog? Yeah no shit
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • “Cows are deadlier than sharks.” No shit, more people are around cows.
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You are statistically more likely to die in a pool than by coronavirus
      14 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I mean... When you’re NOT shaking a vending machine, what are you even doing with your life?!
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Wait... you just realized that there is a reason behind those statistics?
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Bill Burr talking about shark attacks in shallow water
      Scrodzic 13 jul
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • hmm I do the same thing with ma pecker.. I ain't dead yet
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • What about the 13%?
      chopstew 13 jul
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Zental 13 jul
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • “If you put a pool in your backyard you instantly increase the chance of you drowning in your backyard”
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • This doesn't have to happen.
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Do McDonald burgers count as cows?
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Vons 13 jul
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I got to listen to a pack of coyotes hang up and k-ill my neighbors dog from my bedroom window a couple weeks ago. It was horrible
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Coyote's aren't as dangerous as people think. They're usually shy timid animals that turn tail as soon as prey fights back. A brave cat could probably scare off a coyote. However if coyotes are not in competition with wolves, they do become notebly more bold and aggressive.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Yeah you don’t find a shark in the ocean and try to rattle that motherfucker that’s why more people die in the US to vending machines and coconut trees than sharks. Don’t defend great whites they are mindless hunters but, should be left alone by us unless ur gonna get eaten
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Finney
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It’s like you’re more likely to be struck by lightning than attacked by a bear. Unless you’re a pack on hunter
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • That vending machine better give me my fucking poptart then
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • The statistic was worded incorrectly.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Me who lives on a farm: 😳
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • No one shakes coconut trees.. you have to climb them...
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • My "favorite" use of statistics is people using a per capita argument to make things look worse than they really are. Ex.: Two separate populations - 100 people & 10 people. Cops kiII one person from each population - a total of 2 people. But per capita it's 1% & 10% respectively. Apples to oranges.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Coyotes are beautiful animals, my friend and I take binoculars out to this open space at dusk to watch the coyote packs come out and play and hunt and stuff. It's really really cool
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • There have been like 2 confirmed death in human history from wolves. Easily the one of the most demonized animals, up there with snakes
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I used to be super scared of coyotes, because I thought they were like wolves, but then I realized that they were smaller then the average dog LOL
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I had a friend get k!lled by a cow. His brother delivered the eulogy. It was a little cheesy, but very moooving.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Fun fact about coyotes: theres no hunting season for them, you can k1ll them year round. So if a coyote wont stay away from your house, blast that motherfucker across the yard
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I still can’t fathom how one could shake a vending machine to the point of it falling over. They weigh like hundreds of pounds
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You mean like how houses with guns are more likely to have a suicide by firearm? Like, yeah no shit
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Despite
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Coconut related deaths are from people falling OUT of the trees while trying to get to the coconuts. Not from being bonked on the head by falling coconuts while shaking the trees.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I mean, if we all went out and shook sharks, I'm pretty sure the death rate would rise.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Almost like 13%of a group doing about 40% of an action has a similar result to 50% of a group doing another 40% of an action
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I wish people would think about this before saying, "bUt CaRs kIIL mOrE pEoPlE tHaN gUnS.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Cows also account for like a tenth of greenhouse emissions
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I have a fear of flying and everytime I tell someone they are like you have a greater chance to die in a car accident! Like bitch duh im always in a car!?!? But im rarely in a plane!?!
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I’m watching Numb3rs while reading this and feel so smart
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • No one shakes palm trees you imbecile
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • ” the result of reversing the statistics would, in turn, reverse the statistics. Thanks for coming.”
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Despite
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • How the fuck does iFunny know my neighbor has iFunny if I denied my location
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Coyotes are usually scared of humans unless hungry and in a pack
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You know what else gets shaken vigorously and often? Hands, you pervert.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • if you manage to tip a vending machine and die thats just natural selection
      htx_kale 15 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Huh seems like common sense to me
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I don't like statistics because "liars use statistics, but statistics don't lie"
      sl00t 15 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It’s like the stat that 85% of car accidents happen within 15 minutes of home. Makes sense cause 85% of the time, you’re less than 15 minutes away from home
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I'm more concerned that vending machines have a death count
      Kalamari 15 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I mean if you are a farmer than yes cattle are dangerous as fuck
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Yeah and that’s why it doesn’t matter that more white people die by cops than black people
      bonersoup 15 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Coyotes are small enough to punt and cows are big enough to trample you to death so yeah
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Coyotes are pussies that are naturally afraid of humans. Even under similar conditions to cows, the statistics would lean toward cows being more dangerous. Tbf, it’s not the point of the post and it is a well made point. But coyotes and cows are not a very good example.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I vigorously shake my dick often.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Actually its also due to the fact that coyotes are non agressive and are commonly much smaller than humans. And tend to avoid us as much as possible. Whereas cows are much larger, stronger, can become violent when scared or angered, and can very easily k(ill) you.
      MrGrinns 14 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • LMAO OMG😂 THAT IS SOOOO ME
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just like you're more likely to get attacked by a shark at a beach rather than open water
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Bulls are cows no?
      Ravenwulf 14 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • SIMPSONS PARADOX
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • By that logic my dick could be used in a wacky death statistic
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Coyotes are all around my house often, they really don’t ever go after anything bigger than a small dog, and definitely not a human
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • This iss what I try to tell people Bout that 12% shit, but people only like statistics when they can bend them to make a point.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It's like saying that black people receive more police violence, but black people make up most of the slums and gangs, so obviously criminals will have more police problems
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • “More” = 2 more cow deaths a year than coyotes
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Just like people who hate the police are usually ones that break the law
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Isnt that bc people are around cows more often than coyotes?
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Most adults could easily take a coyote in single combat.
      EasyMacn 14 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Like being more likely to be struck by lightening than being attacked by a shark. But they dont factor in you jumping into the sharks environment.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Your daily reminder that you don't fuck with cows, it's not how cowgirls are made
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I wonder of the statistic would change if we added "in an attack."
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Y’all fuckers must not deal with coyotes a lot. The ones that live where I am get to 45-60lbs and hunt in packs of 4-8. One isn’t a big deal but when they group together they lose their fear
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • So would that be the same for crime statistics? Or does that make me an evil white man?
      rhenry 14 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Coconut trees, vending machines, and penises are shaken frequently. The only death associated with my penis was when some moron grabbed it in the gym locker room.
      banjo1926 14 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Have you ever tried to shake a coconut tree? Life isn’t a cartoon.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • And this is why I don't listen to statistics.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • A coyote is a skiddish tiny dog how are people dying. Cows are assholes though, I've had my shit rocked by a cow
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Coyotes are pussies
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • To bad in an argument the other party ignores and denies this fact if you bring it up
      Red9 14 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • It doesn't take away from the probability given the situation. The fact remains that you have less chance to doe from a coyote than a cow because they aren't as available
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • You ain't shaking a coconut tree.
      Kalikus 14 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • i want my cream soda...
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Ok but I really don’t understand how someone can just die from a vending machine. I mean you really gotta be fucking pulling on the bitch for it to fall on top of you it’s not just randomly be pushed by a gush of air.
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • I went coyote hunting before and they didn't run we stood our ground and they vanished then I fell in mud cause I'm from the country medical sike
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • That’s why I hate when dumb fuckers say planes are less dangerous “sTaTiStIcAlLy” than cars like bitch how many more people drive a day no shit there’s more crashes you retard
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show
    • Hmmm. But. I bet more people are closer to a coyote than a cow. Like how many people actually have hundreds of cattle? And how many people live by the woods?
      hoey2546 14 jul
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
      Show

iFunny plug-in will teach your phone to smile

get on the iFunny app to roast them

All content related issues will be solved right here.
After all necessary information is provided, of course:

Complete the form below to notify iFunny of a claim relating to your intellectual property rights and content or some technical inconvenience with the service.
(Positive and productive feedback is appreciated as well).

Your details

Your relationships to the rights holder

Type of claim

Select
Copyright Trademark Nazi-related Offensive Technical difficulties Other
Describe the issue in detail. Please be specific.
Feeling poetic today? Feel free to provide more information
By clicking on "Submit" below, you are certifying the following statements:
  • I state that I have a good faith belief that use of the work(s) in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
  • I state that the information in this notification is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that I am the owner of the exclusive right that is allegedly infringed, or an authorized agent for the owner.
  • I give my permission to pass my contact information to the alleged infringing party.

Privacy notice

For a list of the categories of personal information that we collect from you and how we use that information, please review iFunny’s privacy policy