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    • Birds are sluts
      Quarthy 25 jan
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      • Birds don't exist anymore since the government shutdown
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        • "Damn Becky you see Richard over there? I dunno what happened but he is looking all sorts of feathery fine."
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            • After reading this I put on a red leg band and hit my local bar. Zero women, but I was invited back to several birdhouses.
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              • It is funny. When male humans wear bracelets there is a decrease in female attention.
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                • “Becky, I got blue”
                  Foxbike 26 jan
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                  • So becky doesn't want blue but red in order let ron smash
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                    • Birds hate this one trick
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                      • Well I mean give an ugly human a Ferrari and see what happens.
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                        • Ladies CANNOT resist him learn his simple trick with 3 easy steps
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                          • A true wing man
                            patzat 26 jan
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                              • Ron the birb: "FINALLY! Now Becky is gonna let me smash!"
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                                • Lasrig 25 jan
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                                  • Guys hate him! Find out how he got ALL the chicks with ONE simple trick!
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                                    • Let Ron smash
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                                      • Now tell me please why the FUCK this doesn’t work for humans?? I mean, my life would be a trillion times easier if I were like “hey I really like that girl from my stats class, I think I’ll wear my special red bracelet today and get things moving”
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                                        • So essentially you become the “wingman”
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                                          • the other ducks hate him! see how this duck grew his reproductive rate with this one simple trick!
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                                            • and they all made fun of my sillybandz smh 😤
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                                              • Desu 25 jan
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                                                • Hey cool it with the cursing, what do you think this is, an age 17+ server?
                                                  Fwibby 26 jan
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                                                  • U Wan sum Blu?
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                                                    • Is this the secret to professional bird breeding?
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                                                      • All propaganda to further blind the public from a simple truth. Birds aren’t real. BIRD = Basic Information Recovery Drone. Open your foolish eyes
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                                                        • I can imagine a bird walking around just Gucci down
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                                                          • Apparently therr was this horse wbo could solve really complex math problems. Scientists were amazed at this ability until they dug a little deeper and realized the horse was using subtle hints from its trainer's body language to answer questions correctly
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                                                            • Proof the concept of havin drip carries across species
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                                                              • What’s the human equivalent of this? A ferrari?
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                                                                • I wanna find the nerd/outcast bird and skew nature in his favor
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                                                                  • So Becky might smash with Ron if he gets a color other than blue?
                                                                    _Police_ 26 jan
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                                                                    • z6ne 26 jan
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                                                                      • 1 minute strange trick that makes you IRRESISTIBLE to females. (Other birds hate him)
                                                                        wyguy09 26 jan
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                                                                        • It’s called fashion sweetie look it up
                                                                          laxatax7 25 jan
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                                                                          • If only it was that easy for humans
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                                                                              • look at all the RED on that BEEFCAKE imma take a BITE outta THAT
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                                                                                • I got you some red
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                                                                                  • Puts air pods on bird*
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                                                                                    • Sounds like the plot of a hentai.
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                                                                                      • All the Becky’s getting smashed
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                                                                                        • Every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.
                                                                                          LtGerbal 26 jan
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                                                                                          • Where does one purchase said magical sex bracelet?
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                                                                                            • So where can we buy these bracelets? Asking for a friend.
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                                                                                              • This ugly son of a bird is FUCKING super hot pigeons and basically you are fucking stupid. How? ..Just Watch The Free Video >
                                                                                                Centrismo 26 jan
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                                                                                                • *wears red*
                                                                                                  EmoNeo 26 jan
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                                                                                                  • Imagine if human mating was like this
                                                                                                    Sypher 26 jan
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                                                                                                    • Its no different with humans
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                                                                                                      • Give the male some ice and the chicks can't resist
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                                                                                                        • Does this work on humans
                                                                                                          Jerando 26 jan
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                                                                                                          • Oooooo THATS A LOTTA RED let me take a BITE outta THAT
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                                                                                                            • like human men wearing airpods
                                                                                                              Hackzorer 26 jan
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                                                                                                              • TL;DR female birds are thots
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                                                                                                                • We humans use money. Women are powerless to its allure.
                                                                                                                  ezbreezie 26 jan
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                                                                                                                  • Frick
                                                                                                                    LilDorito 26 jan
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                                                                                                                      • *You a scientist, walking through the forest, tagging animals and shit* Dude burn walks up like, "yo, help a bro get laid, gimme one of them red bands you know wat I'm sayin? Help out a Birbba ya feel?" *gives red tag* "Much appreciated cuz"
                                                                                                                        injunAP1 26 jan
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                                                                                                                        • The only thing that I found funny was that they used the “ frick “ unironicly
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                                                                                                                          • He’s got ice on his wrist how could they not
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                                                                                                                            • Just like real sluts
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                                                                                                                              • Too bad that doesn’t work with people
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                                                                                                                                • This "colorful leg band shit doesn't work. I tried this at a bar the other night. Instead of chicks flocking to me and me getting laid, three guys called me gay and stuffed me into a dumpster.
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                                                                                                                                  • Double his harem size. This bird is the happiest bird
                                                                                                                                    Jinx106 25 jan
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                                                                                                                                    • +100 to charm
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                                                                                                                                      • Interesting. *frantically tries to find a bracelet that would have a similar effect with humans*
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                                                                                                                                          • +5 charisma
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                                                                                                                                                • Use it for selective breeding
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                                                                                                                                                  • Makes me believe some human girls havent evolved yet when this behavior is seen all too often..
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                                                                                                                                                    • It’s funny you all still believe most birds are real.
                                                                                                                                                      _FBl_ 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                      • I misread banding as banging and was very worried for a second
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                                                                                                                                                        • Birches love blue
                                                                                                                                                          Willius15 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                          • What about blue. Bitches love blue
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                                                                                                                                                            • I'm at 497 days🙌🏼
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                                                                                                                                                              • All new colorful bands for your legs! ANIMAL STUDIES HATE HIM!!! Get all the bird bitches today
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                                                                                                                                                                • When I read this all I can think is that if someone raises a few alpha male burns then gives them the bands then the alpha birds will procreate it even better than that genetically modify some birbs with special genes (maybe a special song they sing w/e) colored band boom nature is changed forever
                                                                                                                                                                  snelly 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                                  • This is what sillybands were for
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                                                                                                                                                                    • Y’all see what we did to Lovelace with those beer rings
                                                                                                                                                                      zztry 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                                      • Remember when Trump was gonna make Mexico pay for the wall lmao
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                                                                                                                                                                        • Had to help a brother out
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                                                                                                                                                                          • That's how humans work but with money
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                                                                                                                                                                            • It's because of the high carotenoid pigments in birds that signal they are a healthy male.
                                                                                                                                                                              Kuro22 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                                              • I wish it was that easy for me
                                                                                                                                                                                Big_Fat_D 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                                                • me with guys in grey sweatpants
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                                                                                                                                                                                  • Jonny Depp employs the same strategy.
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                                                                                                                                                                                    • The government is going to reopen for three weeks. I guarantee you see some “birds” “flying” around.
                                                                                                                                                                                      MrJack 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                                                      • Wish that’s how humans worked
                                                                                                                                                                                        Telf 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                                                        • Please Garfield, I need your cum
                                                                                                                                                                                          bozef 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                                                          • Birb: see dat drip, hoe? 💦 ❄️
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                                                                                                                                                                                            • Whoa don't completely f r i c k up nature or anything let's not go crazy
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                                                                                                                                                                                              • Becky lemme smash
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                                                                                                                                                                                                • Imagine dedicating your life to making up studies to make people believe in "birds"
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                                                                                                                                                                                                  • For once, Becky is a hoe
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                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Bropez 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                                                                      • I can’t believe how long I’ve had a fucking account on this app
                                                                                                                                                                                                        I_Bait 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Which top comment do I believe?
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Imuntz 26 jan
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                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Yeah i got this braclet afyer this random dude cought me and now the bitches wont leave me alone
                                                                                                                                                                                                            pyrof1re 26 jan
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