No thanks, just the middle of the fucking road for me thanks
tyisaacson tyisaacson
10 apr
No thanks, just the middle of the fucking road for me thanks
me sliding the straw in and
out of a McDonald's cup
SarahWhyTho SarahWhyTho
3 mar
me sliding the straw in and out of a McDonald's cup
The Doctor: "Who is she?"
Kazran: "Nobody important."
"Not important? Blimey. That's amazing.
You know in 900 years in Time and Space,
I've never met someone who wasn't important before."
reed
Theultimatefandom Theultimatefandom
21 sep 2020
The Doctor: "Who is she?" Kazran: "Nobody important." "Not important? Blimey. That's amazing. You know in 900 years in Time and Space, I've never met someone who wasn't important before." reed
My poor French teacher today was talking about the word "cell phone" and how in
German the word for cell phone translates to handy..... which led to
Professor: Isn't that so cute!? The word handy is just adorable. Like why don't we say that in
English.
One brave Student: .....because it's slang for a handjob
Professor: *visibly looses five years off his life* why are you Americans like this.
My poor French teacher today was talking about the word "cell phone" and how in German the word for cell phone translates to handy..... which led to Professor: Isn't that so cute!? The word handy is just adorable. Like why don't we say that in English. One brave Student: .....because it's slang for a handjob Professor: *visibly looses five years off his life* why are you Americans like this.
The kid in the wheelchair : *tells a funny joke*
Me preventing myself from saying he should become a stand-up comedian :
The kid in the wheelchair : *tells a funny joke* Me preventing myself from saying he should become a stand-up comedian :
Do you have games on your phone?
Hannibal_burgz Hannibal_burgz
5 nov 2020
Do you have games on your phone?
IN MEMORY OF
"GEORGE"
WHO GAVE HIS LIFE ON KAUAE STREET,
29th APRIL 2007 PROTECTING CHILDREN FROM TWO SAVAGE DOGS
KishimotoMasashi KishimotoMasashi
23 sep 2020
IN MEMORY OF "GEORGE" WHO GAVE HIS LIFE ON KAUAE STREET, 29th APRIL 2007 PROTECTING CHILDREN FROM TWO SAVAGE DOGS
KingTickle KingTickle
25 sep 2020
When your dad beats you for taking his pain meds but you can't feel his) belt
5 yo Me: "Mom I don wanna get out the cat. it's raining! I'm scared!"
My Mom: "Come on sweetie, there's nothing to be afraid of"
The Rain:
The_Surfing_Pikachu The_Surfing_Pikachu
24 sep 2020
5 yo Me: "Mom I don wanna get out the cat. it's raining! I'm scared!" My Mom: "Come on sweetie, there's nothing to be afraid of" The Rain:
Caveman: *Eats a poisonous mushroom and dies*
Other caveman:
it
My ab vt
fragmentofme fragmentofme
7 jan 2021
Caveman: *Eats a poisonous mushroom and dies* Other caveman: it My ab vt
I hate eating around kids. U know they bout to beg when they start looking at you like this
I hate eating around kids. U know they bout to beg when they start looking at you like this
Me giving advice Me living my life
Tabby Tabby
5 mar
Me giving advice Me living my life
She got angry with the ball because it didn't fit in her mouth.
ToberBacon ToberBacon
23 sep 2020
She got angry with the ball because it didn't fit in her mouth.
This is what Mr. Bean would look like if he was a character in 007 on
DICKCHEESE DICKCHEESE
22 jan 2021
This is what Mr. Bean would look like if he was a character in 007 on
i'mlovin' it
This look like the patty that killed
that one detective on spongebob
Iunar Iunar
26 sep 2020
i'mlovin' it This look like the patty that killed that one detective on spongebob
me: google give me a gentle coyote
google:
fandomdeity36 fandomdeity36
22 jan 2021
me: google give me a gentle coyote google:
When your parents tell you no jumping on the bed but you hear them doing it at 2 am
When your parents tell you no jumping on the bed but you hear them doing it at 2 am
name something better than Logan and
Jake Paul, i bet you can't
@finah
death
WalmartEef WalmartEef
18 may
name something better than Logan and Jake Paul, i bet you can't @finah death