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    • No lie, the last time I had to make mine, I was told to just lie
      jjthorx 17 aug
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    • Employers are slowly not giving a shit about resumes because of this. Yet, their own inability to have a decent fucking interview caused the bullshit to begin with.
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    • Whatever you do, dont put "my greatest weakness is that I work too hard" or some shit like that. Its cheesy and more overused than a volcano at a science fair.
      0PPAI 18 aug
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    • This is actually a form of lying without lying. Or just a play on words. Basically the news and politicians uses it to emotionally manipulate people
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    • And im a social media representative for a multi billion dollar company!
      DoleFruit 20 aug
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    • On my resume I put “product placement specialist” when I was really just a stocker
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    • Gangsters be like "I'm actually a self employed doctor who does financing on the side and a bit of investing in local growing businesses."
      geexd125 18 aug
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    • Ye, I've been a cashier/server and dishwasher/kitchen prep. My resume says I handled monetary transactions/customer care oversight and that I oversaw pace efficiency and kitchen quality control
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    • I work at a movie theater and I sometimes like to say that I work in the movie industry
      reeeeeek 19 aug
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    • It’s called double speak and they’re a a whole book on it.
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    • My friend works at a gas station (people pump your gas for you in Oregon) and he wrote that he was a “Fuel pump technician”
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    • I use to say "I file paperwork logistics and keep record of donation contributions" when I worked for a mailroom at AARP.
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    • Till somebody actually hires you with that bullshit and all you know how to do is shake fries.
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    • Whenever you need to justify a hobby to someone who has authority over you use as much big words as you can. I like anime because it often provides a multi thematic narrative that gives agency to a group rather than stuffing most of it on a single individual as well as not bending productrestraints
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    • This is what you call double speak lol
      37jake56 22 aug
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    • But they will ask for references and titles and they will find out
      Sarabuggy 22 aug
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    • Thats called double speak
      OBnice 21 aug
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    • So saying a delivery boxed goods to interested clients homes is better than saying i work at pizza hut?
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Double speak
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    • Welcome to the fundamentals of double talk, literally every corporate rep/politician uses it when telling the truth will hurt them but lying can be just as bad
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    • That's called doublespeak, to lie without lying
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    • Good luck explaing that in the interview
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    • The trick is to sound as smart as you can by bullshiting while not lying. An employer can read the subtext of it from the company and job until you get rral experience
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    • I am basically a janitor at a hardware store but when I see my statement for my paychecks it says my position is “Management Team” and if you think that ain’t goin on my resume you got somethin else comin
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    • Tried that, then they said they couldn't possibly pay me for what I'm worth. . .🙄🤔
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    • I have enough recommendations and experience for most minimum wage jobs. I’ve been in maintenance, cashier, salesperson, construction, and certified ride operator.
      Gee_ 18 aug
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    • I told the place that i worked at that i got 3rd place in a cooking compitation. There was only three groups so i basically got last place
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    • Petroleum distributor = work at a gas station pumping gas.
      DN13 18 aug
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    • This is resume writing 101... like the absolute basics. You need to write your bullets like what you’ve done is saved the world.
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    • Anyone who knows how to best craft a resume knows that’s not how you do it... they’ll sniff out your bullshit right after you enter the next round and the wording of how you described being a cashier makes everything else you wrote go into question of authenticity
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    • I don't work at the front desk at the YMCA. I'm an Assistant Membership Engagement Director.
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    • I make posters so i’m allowed to say i work on the mcdonald’s marketing team
      Kaiiak 18 aug
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    • I was an infantry Marine, that don’t translate well to paper, but I I was in charge of 2 million + dollars of government items with zero loss in a 2 year period, and I charge or record keeping and organizing sensitive and classified data.
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    • The only job I had prior to my current one was being a Sign Twirler so I just said shit like "great patience", "reliability", etc and got the job 6 hours later
      BestMetal 18 aug
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    • *handle micro transactions
      airborngod a month
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    • I help with the restoration of multi billion dollar company’s. Janitor
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    • That's not really bullshitting, you're saying the truth
      sliderman 21 aug
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    • I always tell people "I'm a lab technician for a multi million dollar cannabis extraction lab" in reality I just push buttons and make oil
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    • I tell people I'm a customer service Representative for a multi billion dollar company specializing in the care and hospitality of professional drivers aka I'm a cashier at a truck stop
      hwhachey 21 aug
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    • That's essentially what I have to do when I write my brag sheet
      Mr_Yoink 20 aug
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    • Yes I was an underwater ceramic technician (dishwasher) for a few years
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    • You know, for the McDonald's that still have cashiers. Mine only has that stupid screen now so they don't have to pay for cashiers. Robots and machines are taking away all the work for humans.
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    • This was from an old smosh video if I'm not mistaken
      TanChad 19 aug
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    • I have a Standing desk and I work with lasers... I’m a cashier and service desk associate.
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    • McDonald’s is more of a franchise
      Sheepdoge 19 aug
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    • Thats how Air Force EPRs are written.
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    • Truth. I work at NASA, and I still don’t know what it means. ^ also this comma probably makes this sentence grammatically incorrect, but i wouldn’t know
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    • No you dont. Individual McDonalds restaurants dont make money directly towards the company. The franchisee has to pay a flat franchise fee to McDonald's, no matter how much money it makes. McDonald's makes more money in real estate and franchise fees than in big macs. Youre handiling transactions
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    • Doublespeak
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    • I am on break from being a cashier at McDonald's now.
      nomnomy2 18 aug
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    • As a resume writer, bullshitting is what I do.
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    • I got my first job by saying I worked for a big company and they didn’t bother to check
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    • Charisma 10
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    • I really want to put that I'm a solid to liquid metal transfer specialist. I'm a welder
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    • I work at a shoe store, and on my resume I said for that job I, "Analyze the biomechanics and walking gait of customers."
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    • Better up your ball gargling game to bcuz that's how jobs are awarded these days. F'n interviews are a joke, cronyism reigns
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    • I was a fuel distribution systems operator for BP in high school. Aka a gas station clerk.
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    • I keep track of the daily profits and losses of a multimillion dollar company
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    • Its called fake it till you make it. Which in reality if a job pays minimum wage... and you apply. They shouldn't (need) to see your resume. But even SOME minimum wage jobs require experience. So if they bullshit you. You bullshit them.
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    • I’m a chemist (pool boy)
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    • I'm tech support for a billion dollar company
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    • I had a customer come in and say she was a cosmetologist only to find out that that was a hairstylist
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    • I worked for the government at age 14 considering the pool was owned by the local government
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    • Connotation people, connotation
      LookerCar 18 aug
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    • I can actually say that since I do in fact work at mcdonalds
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    • Until they ask what company
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    • CONGRATS PRINCESS ON YOUR FEATURE 🤘🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤘
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    • Then they ask you what company
      Zaffler 18 aug
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    • I deal with logistics for a multi billion dollar company
      ZenoSama 18 aug
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    • Yeah it looks better but it's not gonna really help you at all
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    • Rn where i work at is just pulling out boxes of fruit so it can be inspected, but on my resume i can put quality control
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    • I don't deliver food for Panera Bread. I'm a Culinary Product Logistics Coordinator.
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    • I told some extended family I am an eCommerce Specialist for Kroger. They thought I was important until I told them I just do people's online shopping. Now they think I'm important on a smaller scale.
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    • Its called “double speak”
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    • I handle taxes for several multi billion dollar corporations is better than I handle taxes for the pregnancy care center, mcdonals and any client that asks
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    • EPRs be like
      Enforced 18 aug
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    • Until they ask you the specifics during an interview.
      Zachiary 18 aug
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    • I provide security services for a multi billion dollar company. Walmart door guard. ( in my state you have to be a registered security guard to work at the door.)
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    • I was a “pharmacist”
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    • In a similar fashion, I get at least 3 hand-jobs a day.
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    • Listen I'm a hardware engineer hobbiest because I take apart various controllers and other electronics and put them back together
      SirNuhh 18 aug
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    • I make burritos at McDonalds. For 6 fuckin hours a day.
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    • Can anyone help me embellish my job title “pharmacy assistant” to something cooler sounding?
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    • You can make any job look better with a thesaurus and an imagination 🌈
      Kbiz3184 18 aug
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    • content not available more
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    • I handle transactions for electronics, in one day I handle more money than I make in 2 paychecks
      LoIi 18 aug
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    • Ha! gradeAunderA taught me this already
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    • I provide content for a multi billion dollar company and am payed by advertising and sponsorships other wise known as a youtuber
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    • Ripped girl. Yes?
      Suzuha 18 aug
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    • Did you know that most fast food restaurants only have a net profit of 60k a year? How are hey supposed to pay 15 an hour? There’s literally no money.
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    • I like to boil my left nut in ketchup
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    • I’m just gonna say I’m Native American for a better transcript
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    • I’m a connoisseur of the fine arts from Japan involving the aquatic wildlife
      Francwha 18 aug
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    • I don't want tc
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    • Why is there so many avatar memes in the comments
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