• My wife just gave birth today and
after thanking the doctor, I pulled
him aside and sheepishly asked,
"How soon do you think we'll be able
to have sex?"
He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in
ten minutes meet me in the car park."
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  • 853 comments

    • Legally, in 18 years.
      Noah4675 3 aug
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    • Probably should wait till she's 18
      tweb 3 aug
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    • Why is the father so horny
      niggah 3 aug
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    • Skrunky 3 aug
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    • It depends, minimum 6 weeks (or longer) even if she "feels" like she's ready sooner, you need to wait. It's extremely important that your cervix has completely closed back before having sex again and that takes time. Otherwise she can get a serious infection that'll REALLY f her up.
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    • Heard it’s 6 weeks
      _Whatup_ 3 aug
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    • Legally, at the age of 18 prolly
      828 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Jesus Christ, man, relax your boner. Let the woman heal.
      724 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • "Wholesome"
      Rico_ 3 aug
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    • How do you tag a post as NSFW and Wholesome
      445 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • The doctor is like
      257 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • 162 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • What the fuck is car park?
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    • I’m about to have a baby in the next two weeks and I’m so nervous about taking care of my hooha afterwards. I’ve never had stitches before so idk how delicate they are. Will I be able to clean myself or sit properly I’m nervous
      asscrust 3 aug
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    • Damn the doctor was about to have his lucky day
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    • Atleast 6 weeks. In that predicament rn. Wifes bout to pop in the next week. Last thing you need is a infection. 6 weeks will go by quick. Believe me.
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    • 33 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Be careful of cheating gays and lesbians, they can't get pregnant so you will never know.
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    • This guy hasn't had sex in probably close to 9 months... it doesnt make him hOrNy to ask a fucking question. You people are just prudish and dumb.
      35 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • "wholesome"
      Kasagure 3 aug
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    • When my wife was giving birth to our last daughter, I looked at the doctor and said "I did that"
      11 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I did the same to my newborn too!
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    • Well? Did you fuck
      Pastell 3 aug
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    • So did you pitch or catch?
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I was wheezing until I saw “car park”
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    • You mean a parking garage?
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Nougat 3 aug
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    • Naked gun level joke
      TryMeFoo 4 aug
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    • kanep0e 3 aug
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    • Who tf tags this as wholesome
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • NotLizzz 3 aug
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    • This is featured once a week. It isn’t even that funny
      16 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Horny dad
      MrGabes 3 aug
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    • Who tf calls it a car park?
      noon15 4 aug
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    • "Car park"
      utjk 3 aug
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    • It's about a month and a half to 2 months
      Kaderpow 3 aug
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    • Our doctor asked what we were thinking about birth control and I replied "anal" one of the most professional men I've ever met and he blushed while laughing his ass off one of my shining moments
      Hulagunz 3 aug
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    • "car park"
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • redditard moment
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    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • You're welcome
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • “Wholesome”
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Wow 26 likes and no comments, good feature iFunny
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • “Wholesome”
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I head it takes 2-3 months. My beautiful milfs please help me out. I heard it’s much faster with a C section.
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    • Just told my girlfriend that I think pregnant women are erotic and she asked me to make a baby with her, should I be worried or horny?
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • You my friend have a date
      Dornor 3 aug
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    • 2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • content not available more
      Boat_Man 3 aug
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    • That dussy got me actin strange
      meel 3 aug
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    • Where tf is everyone?
      Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • 6 weeks minimum. 9 if it's a c-section; much longer until the wife stops bitching about it though
      Acheron3 4 aug
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    • Legally 18, morally I’d say around 12 or 13
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    • Damn bro, that's kinda shitty. You got a brand new baby to care for that your wife just shoved out of her vagina, and all you can think about is fucking your wife? Huh. Funny that the doctor wants to fuck you tho.
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    • Should have asked him to throw in a few extra staples down there
      kogl 3 aug
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    • My gfs pregnant. Tbh I’m hoping to go in twice on the day of labor one before one after.
      rogerrod 3 aug
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    • Ask the doc to sew her up a bit tighter! 😉😉
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    • GuroTube 3 aug
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    • 8 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Nice
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    • My poor husband faithfully waited 5 months bc I had some complications and we could not have sex bc of my pregnancy. Zero porn - he doesn't watch it anyway. Zero resentment. Zero sneaking around. Lesser men would have caved. I will never take his loyalty during that time for granted.
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    • Hold up
      jateye87 6 aug
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    • If she gave birth naturally, about 4 weeks, but recommended is 6 weeks.
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    • he immediately had a kid and hopped on r/dadjokes
      Pinhaan 6 aug
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    • I'd jack off to that
      kanoonme 6 aug
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    • I asked the female doctor to put in a couple extra stitches in my wife. She wasnt pleased
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    • Guys it's a joke, redditors don't have social lives
      Cladan 6 aug
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    • It ain't no 6 weeks, I had sex with my girl while they were cleaning up the baby.
      c2thahen 6 aug
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    • Minimum is to wait 6 weeks
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    • Gay
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    • Sex is the LAST THING you think about
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    • Woman: rips apart most sensitive body part creating life. Man: when can i put my peepee in it?
      corakoal 6 aug
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    • I think its 6 weeks
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    • Why can't we say fa.g??
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    • Yo the doctor is gay as hell
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    • First... Its a dude... Second... Tf
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    • Wholesome?
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    • just unlocked a new character and all he can think about is sex 💀💀💀 me asf
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    • Depends on if she needed stitches or not. But the mouth isnt broken.
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    • Is noone going to reference that he said "my wife" then proceeded to way "I pulled him aside". Is this from the perspective of the wife or husband? Ahh
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    • Hah gay
      FBImeme 5 aug
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    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Car park?
      Booters 5 aug
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    • I watched my son pop out, watched him get circumcised, and then asked the doctor to keep his fore skin. Its in a plastic hazard bag 11 months later. She said I was the only person to ask for it
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    • She's got another hole
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    • Yikes wouldn’t that hurt..?
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    • Imagine you’re a surgeon and just finished a heart transplant on someone, and when they awake, they say ”thank god”
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    • The fucks a “car park”
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    • Honestly, the doctor knows that you just want to fuck your wife and will say “probably 4 to 6 weeks.”
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    • “Wholesome”
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    • I mean if u wanted to u could do it the day after. But it’s like putting a tic tac in a hallway so... you got to decide if that’s what you really want
      rdoz 5 aug
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    • U can do it immediately after, even in the birthing room.
      rdoz 5 aug
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    • “Whatya mean step doctor?😳”
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    • I don't get it
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    • That's probably a true story more than once😳
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    • 6 weeks
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    • 14 years
      edumbass 5 aug
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    • Who tf calls it a car park?
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    • Legally in 18 years but if she's on the clock...
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