• my momma get here in 5 minutes wtf
doido?
I would leave for 10 minutes and then
come back looking just as surprised as
she is.
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  • 505 comments

    • What did you do to make your kitchen look like it just went through a magnitude 8 earthquake.
      Lol22G 3 jul
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    • Yo that is actually smart
      Luducrus 2 jul
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    • And then she beats your ass anyways
      809 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Go find a raccon and let it loose in the house
      681 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Blame the dog even if I don't have one
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    • Run
      dev200 3 jul
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    • The spider’s dead
      577 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I know right be like that scene from Tommy Boy. "What'd you do!?"
      481 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • I got the spider mom aren’t ya proud of me
      396 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Ever heard the song “it wasn’t me”? Just do that
      363 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • That’s how my room is right now but I’m too tired to clean it
      332 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Big brain plays right there
      289 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Fix it just enough so it all breaks when she touches it
      278 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Me when someone says “I fucked ur mom”
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    • Yeah go call someone start talking, or listen to music, then show up like “WTF?!”
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    • 250 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Did you hang on a cabinet door???
      234 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Lay on the ground and cover yourself in the stuff, pretend to be knocked out by it
      233 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • How do you get to this point?
      221 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Man what the fuck are you supposed to do, the goddamn house collapsed
      69memes 4 jul
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    • Just say there was an earthquake
      Adrian_6 3 jul
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    • Show her just what the fuck gravity did
      113 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • 67 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Beat the shit out of yourself, lay there and say "I couldn't stop them"
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    • grab my tools, fix it best I can, & take responsibility for my actions
      35 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Break a window. No... From the outside.. smh
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    • My brother made me so angry and I just fucking punched my door, my hand later turned purple and hurted when It moved but before that happened the door felt weird when I punched it and I just fucking broke the thing and nobody has noticed its been like a month. And they walk near it a lot.
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    • Say the drawrs couldnt take the wait of the dishis
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    • Mf at that point just hide
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    • I’d like to take a moment to remember our fallen.
      Filo 3 jul
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    • Play dead
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    • kamsayn 4 jul
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    • you just gotta take a deep breath, and give up
      grouchy 4 jul
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    • cut yourself a bit and lay in the pile face down "knocked out"
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    • Mittens, you fat bitch, why were you climbing in the cabinets again?
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    • Take a plate and break it over your head and lay there
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    • Duck tape. Lots of duck tape
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    • “The cat was being a cunt”
      9 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • We was robbed
      Dipasss 4 jul
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    • Mom! Did you feel the earthquake!?
      7 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Die
      5 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • How the fuck this even happen in the first place??
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    • Loosen a couple of screws on it. Blame it on shoddy installation.
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    • It’s too late, there’s nothing you can do.
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Learn an important lesson
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    • I lost the spider
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • 🎶 “Spider Man, Spider Man”🎶
      4 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Step 1: kiII urself
      zxasy 3 jul
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    • Seak asylum in a foreign country
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    • I swear kids find impossible ways to destroy shit in the house
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    • Lie down among the wreckage, don’t get up when she first tries to wake you.
      Bonobro 3 jul
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    • What should we write on his grave
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    • Well the real question is, how did that happen?
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    • Pretend you was taking a nap and when she come in your room asking you what happened, act just as confused as her
      Locotrbl 3 jul
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    • I would start digging your grave
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    • It’s not his fault the cabinets must’ve been faulty
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    • How do you-how does that even happen
      3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Call 911 and claim there was a break in and stand outside acting helpless
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    • Mom when she sees that
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    • Damn! You had a whole project x party
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    • Hey y'all how do I end my subscription to life?
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    • 3 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • You dont try to climb in the cabinets
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    • Hm
      2 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Cause that ALWAYS works
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    • Dig your grave
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    • Pretend to be knocked out
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    • Beat your own ass up and say somone robbed you dumbass
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    • Say that someone broke in
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Blame the cat
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Earthquake
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • House was haunted
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • You could start by cleaning up
      WolfBV 3 jul
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    • People like the one who offered this genius advice are too smart to fuck up this bad. Thank god the rest of us have them to turn to for help.
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    • Nah, just lay under the pile of stuff and act like you’re hurt. So she’ll feel sorry rather than angry.
      Yoith 3 jul
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    • I'd leave too. No way I'd want to listen to my mom bitch about that
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Tie yourself up and say you got robbed
      Owl_R6YT 3 jul
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    • Yeah someone broke in idk what happened (shrugs shoulder and nervously rattles the broken glass to my lips as I sip my tea)
      redhaze 3 jul
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    • Don't buy cheap cabinets next time.
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    • Walk in like dang mom? What happened???
      T_Jenga 3 jul
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    • then she blames you for leaving the house unattended pr for lying to her
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • And ask if we have been robbed
      whatsup 3 jul
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    • Leave
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Pretend u fell and act real hurt and cry man fake cry
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    • “Why did you leave? You weren’t allowed to leave!”
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Even if my mom made that mess, she would still beat my ass.
      fufuchan 3 jul
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    • Get everything out of the cabinets and call a repairman using my own pocket money
      xXJackXx 3 jul
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    • Slam your face into the fridge, bury yourself under the pile and "sleep" and when she comes in, wait for her to "revive" you and then claim some creep in a clown mask just broke in just to trash the kitchen with your face.
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    • This actually happened to my aunt and uncle about a year ago. They got home from vacation and the mounting for their cabinets gave out and dropped all of their flatware and cups and stuff in the floor. Damaged the floor and everything had to be replaced
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    • Lay down underneath all of it and make it look like you are victim and hurt and say earthquake
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Lie on the floor, throw some chairs and stuff and just watch as my mothervscreams in horror as she sees her son lying lifeless on the floor. Then i fart
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Lay under it and pretend to be injured
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Lay uber some of the shit hit your head on something to make a bump and just lay under the debris
      D_Walsh 3 jul
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    • Just look stunned and ask her if she felt that earthquake.
      jplamont 3 jul
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    • Pray.
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Spider-Man?
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • Break the locks, remove something valuable, pretend yall got robbed
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    • Fucking cats can't have anything nice
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    • I'd get in the shower and come out saying I heard something but thought it was the cat
      1 Copy FacebookPinterestTwitterEmail {{ shortRepliesCount }}
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    • When someone says they have a friend that can install cabinets cheaper. Cheaper cabinets be like:
      FDobbs 3 jul
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