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    • “I haven’t played the piano since my father’s funeral, I don’t think I could bring myself to play ever again.” Bada bing bada boom.
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    • Punch concrete as hard as possible
      Daedalus 22 feb
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    • What is lying about playing the piano going to get you in life anyways?
      1874ojofC 22 feb
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    • Get a fake cast and put your arm on a sling and call it a day
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    • Thanks for feat
      nikolas 23 feb
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    • There is an old tadition, A game we all can play. You start by getting liquored up And sharpening your blade. You take a shot of whiskey, You grab your knife and pray And spread apart your fingers, And this is what you say: Oh! I have all my fingers, The knife goes chop! Chop! Chop!
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    • Get a splint pretend it’s broken then after a few months say “doc said it wasn’t set right. I’ll never be able to play again.”
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    • Put a fake cast on it?
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    • Plays the first few seconds of megalovania*
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    • That’s why you don’t lie about shit that’s so blatantly easy to expose. Or better yet, don’t lie on your CV at all; slight exaggeration is the furthest you should stray from the truth.
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    • Why though? How does mastering the piano help you get any job except as a pianist?
      Isthmas 23 feb
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    • Slam a car door on your hand
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    • Bro just wear a cast and say you broke it
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    • This sounds like an episode of a sitcom
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    • Just get one of those removable finger cast things and say you tore a ligament in your finger
      nodex 23 feb
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    • Or just google “how make your own cast”
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    • Step 1: learn 4 chords of pop. Step 2: hit random keys in those chords. Step 3: profit.
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    • Just go to Walgreens and buy a finger stint
      rogen80 23 feb
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    • Why wouldn't he just also lie about breaking his finger?
      rhenry 23 feb
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    • See if this was a cartoon the main character would learn not to lie and to work hard and he would learn to play the piano before the meeting
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    • Slam em in the car door a few times
      7400 23 feb
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    • Just put your hands into a cast and say you got hurt
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    • If you stroke your meat at the speed of light you may open up a quantum vortex to take you back in time to change your lie..
      blkshp68 23 feb
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    • Get a finger brace and pretend it’s broken?
      wiglytuf 23 feb
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    • Don’t even have to actually break them or anything. Just put a bunch of bandages around your hands and say you accidentally smashed them in a door or broke both of them when you were carrying something heavy and dropped it
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    • Just wrap your finger and say its broken. Not that hard.
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    • Or you could say no
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    • Enter-“Modern problems require modern solutions”
      MrNigga 23 feb
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    • I’m a hyper-focus maniac. I’ll become obsessed with something, then research, practice and learn as much as I can. Pretty sure most people can do this, but boy does it get me places
      MilesOff 23 feb
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    • Why would you break your fingers. Just say you’re sick
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    • Or...Or... he can just bandage his hands up and say he broke them.$2 trip at the pharmacy can prevent stupidity
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    • 6
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    • Boiling hot water on the hand or “accidentally” burn them while cooking close to friday
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    • What's a CV?
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    • I crushed mine with a weight to buy extra time to study for a final. Wouldnt so bad until the adrenaline wore off
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    • Knock out + friend with sledgehammer and 911 speed dial. Youll have your fungers bandaged up before you come to.
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    • Break many fingers, go on to attempt to play in the most dramatic way possible. Power through it, even if it sucks, they'll understand you did your best in your current state and respect you even more.
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    • Either don’t dig the hole in the first place or just tell them they’re broken
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    • Don't break your fingers, tell the boss that you sprained your wrist so you can't play the whole time, but you could play one song. Memorize a simple but popular song and play that
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    • What job would he want to put piano player for
      Red_Luigi 23 feb
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    • Couldnt you just.. buy a finger splint and say you broke your finger? Youve already lied this far.
      Pirahna 23 feb
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    • Take painkillers and smash your hand in your door, it'll seem more like it was an accident than if you smash them with a hammer or something
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    • Don’t 👏🏼 lie 👏🏼 about 👏🏼 your 👏🏼 abilities 👏🏼 to 👏🏼 your 👏🏼 boss 👏🏼
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    • When the fingers heal, he will just be asked ro play again. Be honest
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    • Can you play the piano? Well yes, but actually no
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    • Literally just buy the finger splint
      Trumpac 23 feb
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    • Just say I haven’t played for years and haven’t even touched a piano in years either so I can’t play, sorry
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    • Just be like “I can’t play I have crippling diarrhea”
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    • I mastered trumpet but havent played in 7 years
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    • Just say no lol
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    • Just say you haven’t practiced in forever and it’s way to late notice if it’s that Friday.
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    • Slap the chicken
      Anvers 23 feb
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    • Just say you can’t here the notes.
      typo16 23 feb
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    • Get drunk and have your friend slam concrete on your fingers
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    • So what happens when you fingers heal? They are gonna ask him to play again later...just tell the fucking truth
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    • Do what I did and get get really fucking angry and punch metal. Didn't break my fingers but fractured my knuckles
      Tamale_31 23 feb
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    • Just tell them that was when he was like 8 and he hasnt practiced since then
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    • What is a cv??
      John1911 23 feb
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    • Finger a garage disposal while it's on.
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    • He was ASKED if he could go, doesn’t he realize he could say no and say he’s busy with FAMILY? God sometimes you people are absolutely retarded
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    • GoombaZoo 23 feb
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    • the sounds like an episode of a sitcom
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    • What’s a cv?
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    • 🏳️‍🌈⃠ we won!
      smalldong 23 feb
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    • I’ve broken several fingers. None of them hurt until hours later. In 8th grade I broke my finger playing football and I told my gym teacher very calmly that my fingers broke and he laughed and was like no it isn’t you’d be crying if it was broken so I showed it to him and he’s like yep that’s broken
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    • The amount of people asking what a CV is lol. You aren't old enough for this app
      dumbtown 24 feb
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    • “I forgot”
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    • Pour burning hot water on them, it's a more believable excuse, and it'll heal faster
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    • First you need rope, then you hang yourself. Can’t play piano if your dead
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    • Put your finger tips on the edge of something and have a friend stomp the finger, aim for the knuckles.
      lolee1024 24 feb
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    • Easy, lie. Say you broke ur finger
      Dru_dawg 23 feb
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    • Tf us a cv
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    • It’s better to sprain your wrist
      MyBad 23 feb
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    • Accidentally run over your hand with a car that'll do it
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    • There is no painless way. All involves pain
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    • Piano no I meant penis. Haha
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    • Just say you don’t preform for free
      Aatelh 23 feb
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    • Not part of your job description so fuck ‘em
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    • A bro, a car door, and a lot of alcohol
      LordCrab 23 feb
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    • Car door. Nuff said.
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    • Just fake breaking them... literally go to CVS and buy a finger splint
      Thrism 23 feb
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    • Just say you have stage fright and can’t play in front of anybody
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    • Just learn a very simple repetitve song & how to make the “Tada!” Sound on the piano when you’re done.
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    • Coke up and smash a wall
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    • Or you could just say no?
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    • There are videos online you can play that show you how to ACT like you know the piano. Pretty handy.
      Ichiro__ 23 feb
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    • Take out a loan from slick jimmy and miss payment by a week
      MemeStark 23 feb
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    • Search up Batman in the urban dictionary
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    • It still hurts but it'll be quick
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    • Time to pull out the good ole Ode to Joy
      VALENC3 23 feb
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    • Slam in car door. It’s the only way I stopped jagging off
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    • Slam your hand in a car door, it just goes numb and you can’t use them afterwards, got mine caught in a mini van sliding door felt good
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    • He’s already got the car just slam your hand into the car door
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    • The hell is a cv
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    • Or you know, fake that you hurt your fingers on one hand
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    • Big oof
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    • Or just buy a couple splints at cvs
      colt4321 23 feb
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    • Why not just say you already made plans with family or something?
      bupfer 23 feb
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    • Chug Melatonin and grab a hammer
      Osirus_X 23 feb
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    • Fake it tf
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