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    • I accidentally made an appointment at a kids dentist and now I have a toothbrush that flashes lights when I brush and suctions to my mirror
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    • My dentist once told me i had a pretty mouth before putting me under for surgery
      Lova 14d
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    • Cap for 400 please
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    • Philosophers dont make money on philosophy until they die though
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    • Ditch that bitch and buy a car
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    • An adult shouldn't be loosing teeth, and any adult with insurance should have any removed teeth replaced with fake teeth meaning there shouldn't be a gap to lick. And a kid wouldn't be thinking this deeply about a missing tooth....
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    • "It's going to take awhile, but it takes time" is about my expectations from philosophy
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    • That's gold
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    • And then u get an implant of a good quality to fill the void left by the old rotten tooth. Upgrading
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    • Douuubbbbtttt wtf is wrong with ppl that they need attention this bad
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    • I thought he was gonna start singing a parody of all star
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    • Dentists have one of the highest rates of suicide among all professions
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    • Let that sink in
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    • Not to mention the agonizing pain of getting that tooth pulled. Dear god that was just like in video games where the screen is pulsing red and the controller vibrates. 3 crowns, 1 implant, a shitload of filling, and $5k later, the lesson of the day is brush your teeth.
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    • The dentist doesn’t exist and that’s a bullshit story, so.
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    • I used to feel super uncomfortable because no matter what, they always muttered that creepy sentence "You've got some nice teeth here" while they were elbow deep in my mouth
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    • A Dentipist?
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    • Sources: dude trust me
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    • My dentist puts her fat tits on my face while she talks shit. I love it
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    • He should be a flossipher
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    • Oh yeah you remember this bomb ass story about your dentist but you dont even remember their NAME!!!
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    • mine just stabs me and complains about me bleeding
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    • I have a missing incisor on the bottom, I have my tounge in there like 60% of thr time
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    • Do y'all not have borderline therapy sessions with your dentist?
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    • So the last one isn't a philosopher, He's a FLOSSipher
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    • My dentist had an affair with my mom.... still going on actually.... comes around for dinner now, Jeff’s a nice guy actually
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    • Is this the man?
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    • One time I shaved my head and I didn't stop touching it is that the same shit?
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    • That last comment
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    • You know, in the grand scheme of things, tooth brushes are just dildos with bristles attached.
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    • My friend has a dentist named Dr. Illuminati
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    • i needed to hear this. thank you
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    • Then something eventually fills the empty void
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    • Thats why they have fake teeth
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    • My therapist and philosopher is the band glass animals, but it's not my dentist
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    • I read my dentist once told me as somebody once told me then completed it in all star form.
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    • My dentist is awesome. He checks my penis to make sure I dont have cancer. Only one in the world who does that. I'm very lucky
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    • I dont think he even went to the dentist
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    • Every time I see my dentist “You drink too much juice and eat too much candy” “I don’t drink juice, at all, nor do I eat candy” “you drink too much soda” “also no soda” “too much juice then” “I don’t drink juice” “too much candy and soda” bitch what
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    • My dentist tried to pull my jaw off. The same guy pulled my friends soft pallet off. Off. That means you can pick your nose with your tounge, from the inside.
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    • My dentist touches me
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    • My dentist jusy tells me to shut the fuck up
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    • Ok real talk, I went to the dentist recently and they did that thing where they say you need to floss, they gave me a mirror and EVERY FUCKING CREVICE was bleeding, I went home and the next day I flossed as hard as possible and as deep as possible and only 2 spots bled a little, I'm calling bull
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    • He must of been Indian and his parents wanted him to be a dentist but he wanted to study philosophy
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    • You're bleeding because you don't floss
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    • My dentist pulled my canine teeth and when I went back to the dentists office they said they didn’t have a dentist by that name and that my teeth had been stolen
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    • When your dentist cuts ur gums and blames you
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    • What's a dentist
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    • A flossifior
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    • I am actually just over a breakup and this. This is what i needed.. I also had my tooth pulled out about a year ago so its relatable for me on insane level. Thank you philosophical dentist <3
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    • A flossopher
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    • A floss-ifer
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    • It wasn’t causing you pain... it was causing you pain. Make ya mind up playboy.
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    • Fake
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    • I done how read this to the tune of all star
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    • Laera 13d
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    • Jesus Christ. That's something to think about while you're on the gas.
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    • Dentist- The rapist
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    • My dentist told me I have 9 cavities
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    • Mine just asks me how I got into his home
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    • My dentist just tells me to stop opening beer bottles with my canine, over and over. Yeah, got it doc, you hate ergonomic utility and convenience, can you just stab my face now?
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    • I floss so often that my gums bleed
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    • Now people can have a breakthrough while dentists check you teeth
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    • My fuckass brain started reading in the tune of All Star
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    • My dentish said i floss to much after he piked my gums and he started to bleed
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    • I want this dentist in my life
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    • Anyone else bite the tip of their tongue all the time?
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    • noon
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    • Who else ran their tongue on their teeth?
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    • "When it was pulled out, you're relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot" - My dentist
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    • Making such matters seem like something that have any sense of entrapment isnt really the best way to go, in my opinion. Saying that you'll NEVER truly let it go is damning
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    • F a r e w e l l .
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    • This applies directly to a situation I’m in right now, it’s fucking painful
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    • My dentist tries to talk about Price is Right while his fingers and tool are in my mouth and I'm drooling on myself
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    • And then someone will pay you $100 to let them eat it
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    • You mean a floss-opher
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    • It hurts because you don't floss.
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    • My dentist just makes jokes and calls me brother
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    • Nice thought and all, but where’d you put that tooth, I’m kinda hungry
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    • No it just feels weird
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    • I’m so fucking tired of everyone using “philosophy” in such a broad sense. Fuckin degrading, makes you sound like young idiots you don’t know what philosophy is
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    • Is it weird my dentist has me disrobe?
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    • This post was written by a dentist
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    • Dentapist
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    • Ive been working on my implant since april. My tongue is always in that hole. Hopefully just for another few months.
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    • I'm in a situation where if I let go I'll be hurt and if I dont I'll be hurt
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    • "become a philosopher"
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    • My dentist told me (X)
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    • My dentist stole one of my teeth.
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    • 9/10 Dentists: You should floss more. 1/10 Dentists: So the meaning of life is...
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    • Flossipher
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    • And then your teeth clapped
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    • "it's going to take awhile, but it takes time" like lol man stfu noons
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    • Oof
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    • My dentist molests me
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    • So many people are saying this is fake but it’s not. I was the dentist. Immediately after I said this everyone in the room stood and clapped. Then Obama busted down the door followed by Tupac, Biggie, Elvis, XXXTENTACION, Paul McCartney, and Jeffery Epstein to award me the Medal of Honor.
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