• Masturbating is like eating McDonald's. You really want it beforehand but afterwards you're left ashamed with lots of soggy paper and sticky hands.
    smile 59K
  • 400 comments

    • TheMildSausage
      If you feel shame after masturbating, then you are unsatisfied with your life and you subconsciously touch yourself to feel instant pleasure instead of working towards your own goals
      smile 266 reply 45
    • DaHopper007
      “Sir what are you doing” “I’m am trying to bust a mcnut”
      smile 4 reply 1
    • KillerKoolKat
      McEjaculate
      smile 4
    • nyggur
      You’re only ashamed if your a huge pussy. It’s your house. You are in the privacy of your own home. Nobody cares if you have a fucking nut inside your house. And if they do then they probably scream “BUT MUH HOLEY BUUK” whenever someone disagrees with them.
      nyggur 23d
      smile 4
    • Enlightened1
      Remember when people fucked McChickens I do
      smile 4
    • maxthedude
      Try masturbating WITH McDonalds
      smile 4
    • I0n3W0lf
      Who else remembers that dude that used a mcchicken as a pocket pussy on twitter
      smile 3
    • Thegreatcornhulio
      Yall remembee the dude that fucked a mcchicken?
      smile 3
    • DumUniqueMe
      No one ought to feel ashamed for doing something completely normal and healthy that almost everyone does! Makes me sad. 😢
      smile 3
    • IAmMorganFreeman
      I jerked off in a McDonald’s, not my proudest fap
      smile 3 reply 1
    • thicc_not_fat
      Thanks for the bad advice. I'm no longer allowed in that McDonald's......or any other one!
      smile 2
    • TrueBlueAmerican
      I'm beating my meat as we speak
      smile 2
    • KeltonKey
      And pull a Spider-Man, it’s where you get cum on your hands and sling it in a public restroom
      smile 2
    • Dillmonger
      If you can’t walk away from a nut feeling great and relaxed, then you need to sort your shit out, and maybe add some more TLC to your private time
      smile 2
    • ChiefSauce
      Where else would you masturbate ?
      smile 2
    • Mavatar98
      I’ve made it a goal to masturbate at every job I have. So far I’m flawless
      smile 2
    • umurid
      And so a new challenge emerges: “McDonald’s masturbation challenge”
      umurid 23d
      smile 2
    • ChonkConk
      Any of y'all remember the greentext of the guy who beat off in a McDonald's bathroom and stuck straws in his urethra?
      smile 2 reply 1
    • ephantom987
      I never feel ashamed. Just content. Sure I didn’t cum in a pussy or ass or mouth. But I also don’t have to deal with drama. I’m 100% okay with jacking my fat cock. Every night like a 13 year old.
      smile 2
    • Kin_V_Slayer
      Try masterbating while in a McDonalds while eating McDonalds .... it's so crazy that you'll kill your self afterwards
      smile 2
    • greymatter87
      Terrible advice. I was arrested only 20 seconds after I climbed onto the counter
      smile 2 reply 1
    • Frooty_tooty
      If you feel shame, you’re not doing it right.
      smile 2 reply 1
    • mSpiffy
      I masturbated in a chickfila on a road trip when i was 15
      mSpiffy 24d
      smile 2
    • kkhhlljj
      I’m never ashamed after beating my dick?? What kinda “you’re going to hell if you do that” mom is this... 🙄it’s a naughty massage. It’s healthy. Fun. Releases frustrations in a non harmful way.
      smile 2 reply 2
    • xSicariix
      Obviously this person wasn't on the internet during the whole McChicken fiasco
      smile 2
    • CaIiban
      McChicken
      CaIiban 24d
      smile 2
    • TitanPicture
      If you masturbate in a Walmart you'll have a Walnutt. If you jack off in a McDonalds, you'll have a mcnutt.
      smile 2
    • stephanie5
      Fuck a McChicken in the bathroom to get the nickname McChicken for ur high school life😂
      smile 2
    • Get_a_load_of_this_guy
      I don’t care what you say, both are fucking awesome
      smile 2
    • Spectral
      No, because I never want McDonalds. It fucking sucks.
      smile 2
    • zeldagirninja
      Wtf are you eating at McDonald's to makes your hands sticky
      smile 2 reply 2
    • Boogabob_DGAF
      The Big Fap before the Big Mac value meal. Sounds like something that can be handled.
      smile 2
    • Crumbeard
      Try masterbating with a McDonalds chicken sandwich.
      smile 2
    • gaylublub_donde
      Try doing anal in their stalls. Different experience
      smile 2
    • Rheol
      I want to try to masturbate in a public place but I can't do it
      Rheol 24d
      smile 2 reply 4
    • therealsloth_
      Because pemdas or some shit
      smile 2
    • FatOldAndBald
      I used to masturbate to hentai in the mcdonalds bathroom using their wifi and my nintendo ds.
      smile 2 reply 2
    • Rugby939
      I need to run some tests
      smile 2
    • Innuendo
      Do women feel guilty after self pleasure or is it just us bros?
      smile 2
    • DontSub
      Or just make sure your hands dont get cum on them because thats gay
      DontSub 24d
      smile 2
    • Ceaches
      McDonalds is Bad, change my mind
      Ceaches 24d
      smile 2
    • Industry
      Masturbation feels good and all but have you ever had water
      smile 2
    • iRaditz
      Except I don’t get ashamed from either
      iRaditz 24d
      smile 2
    • Jools
      Jools 24d
      smile 2
    • itsurrboi
      Y’all remember that mcchicken video. I do.
      smile 1
    • TheMadHowler
      Why bother being ashamed?
      smile 1
    • SportsVids
      Why tf would you feel ashamed for beating your meat. Unless its like to your grandma when we was 20 then yeah I could understand that
      smile 1
    • TheSasMaster
      McDonalds sweet and sour sauce makes for good beating off lube
      smile 1
    • Shutyourfacehole
      Maybe i'm a sociopath but why would I feel guilty
      smile 1
    • fdncdfhsjbzvbcs
      Amazing Videogame cosplay asses daily
      smile 1
    • Edgy_Username96
      I used to work at a McDonald’s and an elderly man died in the bathroom on the toilet
      smile 1
    • TalentlessPorcupine
      What's with all the masturbation
      smile 1
    • Gen1ForLife
      Have you ever tried masturbating WITH McDonalds food??
      smile 1
    • Hoyminoy
      The McChicken if know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
      smile 1
    • SlashGaming
      I fucking work there... please dont
      smile 1 reply 1
    • isofunnybro
      That great and all but have u rubbed one out in class while wearing baggy sweat pant a long baggy jacket while one of ur hot class mate is bending over the table in front of u talking to her friend
      smile 1 reply 2
    • BurntPancake
      Ever have a moment where the post nut depression kicks in because your dopamine spiked then plummets
      smile 1
    • ChiefSauce
      McBig Nut
      smile 1
    • eorDARYL
      mcdonald’s is a lot like married sex. fast not very good and kinda gross but satisfying
      smile 1
    • 69urturtle
      I once masterbated in a McDonald’s while eating Burger King and now it’s the only way I can get off
      smile 1
    • Automaton8
      Try master bating with McDonald’s
      smile 1 reply 2
    • _Daddys_Princess__
      What kind of McDonald’s food leaves you with soggy paper and sticky hands???
      smile 1
    • F4TD4DDYS4C
      Hands up to the men who use nothing but their hands. Dry rub that shit like baby back ribs
      smile 1 reply 2
    • _Spooky_Kid_
      Don’t do that just subscribe to Pewdiepie instead 👊🏻😃
      smile 1
    • SlayMee
      SlayMee 23d
      smile 1
    • yeet__skeet__repeat__
      Masturbate with a McDonald's burger
      smile 1
    • Tyrax
      I'm never ashamed of busted nuts
      Tyrax 24d
      smile 1
    • whyamiheredafuq
      Not ashamed 🖐
      smile 1
    • Alexiskisses
      I literally hate McDonald’s but I’m always in the mood for sex or to masturbate. I’m all into new locations but I’m favorite is in a car at night in a discreet place. Something about the open sky and stars is just so beautiful
      smile 1 reply 1
    • GalamityCanon
      Do you wanna phuccin beese churger?
      smile 1
    • KevinFromWalmart
      I don’t feel ashamed when I beat it.
      smile 1
    • ShouldntLeaveWinterfell
      The only people who feel ashamed after masterbating are religious teens
      smile 1 reply 1
    • Snowboyman
      How to get all the diseases in the world all at once 101
      smile 1
    • White_trash_boi
      McChicken please
      smile 1
    • ProfessorGlaceon
      You know, I was once ashamed when I masturbated, then I learned it was a natural human need. It took a while to unlesrn what religion had shoved down my throat as a kid, but now I feel no shame at all around it.
      smile 2
    • InkyBoye
      I don’t get how someone can have options to eat anywhere with a ton of money and a ton of time and still eat McDonald’s
      smile 1
    • manguyperson
      The most fondest memory of my sad life is buying and eating 25 mc chickens while watching Brooklyn 99 in 1 sitting.
      smile 1
    • _delicious_
      Idk man, I go for round 2 always.
      smile 1
    • Squiggy
      McChicken
      Squiggy 24d
      smile 1
    • Koi_Gang
      Anyone else NOT feel ashamed after masturbating?
      smile 1
    • 1fabulouskilljoy
      I couldn’t be more serious when I say I’ve actually masturbated in a McDonald’s while I was in Florida and a super old guy walked into the stall and was abt to close the door before he noticed me and said “oh my I do beg your pardon”
      smile 1
    • MJHspecies
      I didnt want to keep reading after the first line
      smile 1
    • STI_Guy617
      Never once have I felt ashamed after masturbating
      smile 1
    • ScorpionKid991
      For all the people saying it’s healthy and normal and don’t understand why you feel ashamed. Quick lesson. Masturbation is frowned upon because it objectifies whatever you are doing. You’re probably thinking of a girl or guy and only for that purpose of sex. More religious view sex is great and
      smile 1 reply 3
    • Lyall_ace_wolf
      Can't relate, i never want mcshits
      smile 1
    • Ash323121
      Why separate them? Fuck a Mcchicken
      smile 1
    • MinoritySpace
      your ego is to big if masturbating makes you feel ashamed
      smile 1
    • Steeyo
      Can’t even begin to imagine what kind of shit happened in that persons life for him to reach that point
      Steeyo 24d
      smile 1
    • Goethe
      Just don't do it inside the Play place
      Goethe 24d
      smile 1 reply 3
    • existential_fuck
      the negatives would cancel out. you’d feel like a god after masturbating in mcdonald’s
      smile 1 reply 1
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