• When your best friend is roasting the hell
out of you in front of your friends and you're
holding back that one roast that would ruin
your friendship and his reputation
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    • i was at a wendy's with a few buddies and one of them said "all these women in the world and not one will date you" (im a loser but who cares) and I was fucking dying to say "all these women and you couldn't keep one" since his girlfriend cheated on him literally two days earlier
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    • My best friend lost his virginity to his step sister. Saving that for a rainy day...
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    • Just push the button already, I know u wanna do it
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    • “Boy you ate your girlfriend ass and she shit in your mouth”
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    • Did that, he was being racist so I said that’s why his dad left him to fuck bitches in Vegas.
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    • Was being roasted by my best friend for being a virgin and had to hold back that one roast that pointed out every guy she slept with thinking they was "the one" left her the next day
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    • Lmfao my Muslim best friend and I were going back and forth. I called him a pussy and he said “I am what I eat” and I said “yeah... you do look like a goat” Entire class lit up, love that dude.
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    • "bitch you built like a waffle fry"
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    • “Bruh fuck out my face your breath smells like (local hoe)‘s ass.” Heard this one used while the guy had rumors and a video of him eating her ass floating around.
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    • This girl i was friends with was roasting tf out of me in our friend group and she always wears bright clothes that only match 60% of the time so i said she looked like a pack of highlighters and she started crying
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    • One time my friend said I didn't know anything about GTA 5, so I shut him with the old, "says the one who who drank blood from his girls vagina when you thought it was strawberry soda" shut that man up real quick cause his last girl did that to him
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    • One of my best friends pissed me off so bad that I almost told everyone that he shit himself every time we hung out and then just slept in the shit without cleaning it up until he was 12. I was like “you want me to tell em?” And he shook his head “no” so I didn’t and he stopped being an ass lol
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    • If you have to use that to roast you aint a roaster
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    • Had a friend, who used to have a shit fetish. He only ever told me. To this day I've never used it against him.
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    • Roasting your friends is stupid. Why bring people down
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    • My friend jerked off into what he thought were his girlfriends panties but were actually his moms. I have that saved for a scorched earth scenario.
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    • That used to be me, but I said fuck it and said the life ending roast. Now I don’t get roasted lmfao
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    • First I demand 3 likes
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    • Had a friend try to tell me the only thing i could possibly be packin was a tic tac. So i said “thats why your mom’s breath is always minty fresh.” He shut right up, and the looks i got were priceless.
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    • If your holding back on your best friend then that man is not your best friend. You never hold back on a best friend you lay into them so bad that there depression hits hard the next 2 weeks.
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    • None if my friends roast me because I dont care what I say back. The worst roast I did was my friend said i had a small dick and I asked how his mom died from choking on it. His mom was dead
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    • One of my friends ex left him for a girl and he kept making fun of my temporary long distance relationship when we were with a group of friends and eventually I snapped because he wouldn't shut up and I said "at least I'm not so ugly that my girl turns lesbian". Lost a friendship that day. But tbh-
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    • Legit how my family is. I’m considered to be the “sensitive one” because every mistake I’ve ever made is full game, but whenever I say anything, “it’s too far” “why are you so mean?” “I failed that class with grace” bro shut the fuck up and quit being a hypocrite
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    • My friend tried dating a 30 year old furry before finding out she's a furry. I still think about this but I never talk about it with him or our friends, but it's always in the back of my mind.
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    • Nah I will freely remind my friend that his ex turned gay and dumped him over text
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    • The quiet people are the ones with the best roasts they stand there taking it and eventually they’ve had enough and retaliate with some fire shit
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    • YoU hAvEnT lIKeD aNyThInG
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    • Guys Idk what to comment
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    • I dont even stop myself anymore bruh were probly gonna eventually hate eachother over some childish ass shit like that anyway or it'll just make us closer
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    • Boy, you all got some weak ass roasts on here.
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    • I dont personally like teasing. I cant tell if its in good fun or bullying. I broke 3 noses of kids who wouldnt leave me alone in middle school. No idea how i made it to highschool without being expelled.
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    • Well it is some what the same for me because my father wanted a boy but got a girl and as it turned out he wanted to abort my younger sister and she is such a bitch, that Every time she starts an argument with me I think about saying that at least I was wanted. By the way I am a male
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    • Tommy has a vagina.
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    • Do them dirty in front of they squad
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    • See once I cut everybody out of my life that I went to school with my life has been incredibly better and less toxic
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    • When you finally decide to whip it out:
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    • I have a friend who could tell you quantum theory word for word. But he was always acring like the smartest person in the room. Well one day i came prepared with questions about basic earth history and he got them all wrong. Therefore proving to him that he wasnt as smart as he thought he was.
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    • My friends don’t hold back on me. I’m a fucking joke.
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    • That happened with my best friend. He was going off on me saying everything to humiliate me. I told him that if he goes any further, I will say something that will definitely piss you off. The he says “no wonder your dad doesn’t love you, shut the fuck up.” I then said “dude, your parent are- (1)
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    • “i dont have to take this from someone who sucks toes”
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    • My friend would always try and start talking about how shitty I am at video games and making fun of me, I would sho0t him this look, and he would shut up right quick. He knew what I had on him, wanna know what it is? A video of him shitting in the river. It’s got its own section in my camera role
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    • My friend and I were doing this and I brought up his dead brother
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    • My best friend still pisses himself at night, mf pissed all over my couch like 4 times and blamed the dog
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    • One of my marine buddies has a stutter and I point it out every now and then because it's funny (I also have a stutter ao it's like a homeless man calling another homeless man broke)
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    • Your not best friends if you dont say it
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    • Nigga you told me you gotta piss kink I can end your life
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    • I was the director for our drama production in school. I asked my bff nice as fuck to read his lines a different way and he called me a bitch i was so close to saying ‘ did you get that attitude from visiting your dad in prison?’ And god do i wish i did
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    • That's why you say it then. And if the situation turns sour, play it off as a joke/lie because y'all were just fucking around anyway no hard feelings
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    • A nig stay STRAPPED WITH THE FINAL ROAST
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    • My friend was 18 when he kissed a 15 year old. When ever he says anything I always just want to bring it up and say "at least I'm no pido". (He isn't this way anymore, and is in fact looking at girls older than him)
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    • “Guess I should ask [REDACTED]”
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    • Still does it
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    • If u did hold back. Good on you. You gained honor. —>> :)
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    • I actually just chuckled out loud to myself 😅
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    • 1 like = one dead butterfly
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    • Found out my best friend fucked his cousin. I hope he doesn't test me. My knowledge is dangerous when trifled with
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    • Actually pretty relatable
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    • My friend fucking lied to a girl saying his peen was 7.5 inches and he tried making advances in my friend to which my friend she denied but she saw his peen shit was tiny
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    • My best friend is one of the few people who knows I'm gay and he has never told a single person about it.
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    • Need better friends than if your friendship is that fragile
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    • "Nigga yous a bitch for not fucking that girl even tho she had a boyfriend." Shiiiiiiiit bro, if I'd have known you were cool with cheating, I would've fucked yo last girlfriend after the football team was done with their turn. Didnt seem cool with that shit then.
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    • "At least i got a mom"
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    • Oh no if he’s ur best friend u go for the jugular
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    • WELL AT LEAST MY MIDDLE NAME ISNT BUTTHURST.
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    • My homie busted a nut on the sink handles in the girls bathroom in high school as a senior prank and I am still yet to bring that up when he pisses me the fuck off
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    • My cousin/goodfriend lost his virginity to a fucking troll like this girl was a 2 at best and whenever he says i get no girls I remind him of that
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    • My friend said “I could say something that would end our friendship right now.” And I said “Oh yeah? How about we talk about those fake girls you’ve been talking to?” He shut up but I’ve got the evidence against him just waiting
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    • Did this to my friend and we werent friends for a couple months
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    • Always have the bike button on standby
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    • This was me middle and high school
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    • Jesus Christ that fuckin face made me laugh more than the actual meme
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    • I did something like that and now he’s blowing up my Snapchat with claims that I’ve “lost the majority of my friends” and that I’ll never be able to throw parties again. What caused me to throw it out was he invited people I told him I didn’t want at my house
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    • I've held back so much but could easily end every one of my friends lives
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    • Me and my buds were all playing modern, and we got our dads to play one of the games for us all our dads, and i asked my one friend(his dad is stuck in mexico) that he should go ask his dad to join. The whole group lost it. I've taken years of being the group roast.
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    • "Yeah how's your sleep paralysis"
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    • Nah, no holds barred
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    • When I was in school I just beat up people who were dicks to me. Either that or ruin their relationships. Im good at both
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    • All the time
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    • It’s not a huge challenge to hold back stuff that’ll ruin there day there my best friend why would I do that so what he teases me
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    • If you can lose your best friend to a single roast they aint your best friend
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    • My cousin would say “that’s why you fucked your cat” because one time I picked her up weird and I though I touched the bottom of her tail and he twisted it. Then he got drunk once and told me everything about a girl he was gonna fuck, so now whenever he brings it up I’m like “you wanna go bitch?”
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    • Bitch imma clock his ass with that shit.
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    • When Will Smith starts roasting you
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    • Do it
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    • “Bitch you don’t wash your hands when you use the bathroom”
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    • Say it pussy let's see who has more dirt!
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    • My sister called me out on my Virginity, so I hit her with "yeah? What was your body count by 17?" She hasnt spoken to me since
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    • That's why you got your momma pregnant you freaky ass bitch + that was mines to a nigga name Aj
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    • Ooo_Noo
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    • Honestly if your best friend is toxic enough to you to make you want to do this, go ahead, it’s not worth keeping someone like that around, I had a shit “best” friend for a while and I just gave up on him.
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    • Me when my gf is talking shit and I hold back the mega roast
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